Next step to take?

[Bisou88]

Hello all, im looking for some advice regarding moving a child out of the country.

I have 2 children, one of them is not DPs biological child. This child has contact with their other father, which was organised through the court. Childs father hasnt always stuck to the court order, but i have always made child available when contact is supposed to happen.

We are planning on moving to another country and i have informed ExDP of our plans via email (This is the preferred method of contact as he is manipulative and abusive, so its all on record) He is on the birth certificate, therefore has parental responsibility, so i know i need his permission for this move to go ahead.

I sent the email a week or so ago, and so far i have not had a response from him. I stated in the email that us moving would not change the contact he has with his child, in fact it may make it easier for him as he would have less distance to travel to pick her up from the airport. If he hasnt replied, in effect he hasnt shown any disagreement... But obviously i dont want to move, then get caught for kidnapping my own child.

What would you suggest? Do i need to start court proceedings? Or do i send another email? I have to be careful not to come across as, for want of a better word, desperate, as he is a very controlling person, if he feels he has the upper hand i fear he will deliberately make this difficult.

Thanks for reading. Any suggestions greatly appreciated.

[Fiddlerontheroof]

I would inform him of your decision, and if you don't hear from him within x number of days, then you will be proceeding. It's the only way I can deal with my ex by giving deadlines, so I know one way or the other. Would that work? x

[BikeRunSki]

Could he just be away? Maybe a "signed for" letter would be better, to ensure that he has received it.

[Bisou88]

I could give him a deadline, it may chivvy him up with a response, but what if he ignores that one too? Would i be accountable for kidnap if he suddenly decides, once weve moved, that he doesnt agree with it?

He may well be away, but i forwarded the email to his father too, who was the one to instigate the contact order in the first place, so therefore deals with most of our communications. (To be honest, if it wasnt for his father ExDP wouldnt give a shit about his child, but his father couldnt get the amount of contact he wanted without ExDP riding on his coattails)

I may go ahead with another email then and see what happens. They are due contact in half term next month, so unless they are going to dodge this one, they have to contact me to arrange it. Its just frustrating waiting around for their response when i could be setting plans for the move in place IYSWIM. Instead im sat here twiddling my thumbs, waiting on them.

[Bisou88]

Is there anyone here whos gone through a similar situation or have some legal advice?

[worridmum]

just be careful you will most likely be hit with the majority of costs assoicated with maintaining contact (ether by directly forced to pay for flights or the cost of flights being duductable form your entitlements from CSA)

And also be prepared for a lengthy and expesive court battle if he refuses you permission and the time frame could be anything up to 2 years

[crabbyoldbat]

When you set the deadline, be sure to say 'If I don't hear otherwise by [date] I will take it that you agree to this.'

Don't just say 'please reply by [date]'

[Bisou88]

Ok, thank you for your advice, its been very helpful.