Divorce settlement Proposal to DH

[Chocolate99]

Evening all, I am looking to seperate and divorce from my husband of 4 years, together 10 and have a young child together. I have seen 2 solicitors (dh does not know) who said start at 50/50 equity split and go from there. 1 said to go after monthly spousal payments which i thought was more an American thing and to go after his pension too. The other solicitor said to aim for 70/30 split in my favour given that he earns double what i do so can get back on his feet quicker, similar standard of living etc. One mentioned capitalising the spousal maintenance in a one off fee and to use the threat of going after the pension as a bartering tool, even if i have no intention as will not get much for 4 years marriage. Looking at the figures, mortgage is £20k house worth in region of 225-250 depeneding on whether quick sale so min equity of £100k each if 50/50. Looking at cars and motorhome there is an additional 10-15k of assets. 1 solicitor advised to chat to him about the best possible scenario, basically to start off saying i want 70/30, pension and spousal maintenace and half of other assets and work our way down. At the beginnign it thought i would like to buy him out but now think a fresh start would be better however it is a large house for 1 person if he stays. He is very controlling and a bully when it comes to money anyway so am naturally very nervous of approaching is with him. I suppose what i am asking is how have other people approached this, has anyone used mediation as a means to have a full and frank, uncoerced discussion about the family pot so to speak? Or is there anyone legally minded who can advise whther the legal advice i have been given is unrealistic. My main concern is that my salary is highly unlikely to change, i will be nrp due to his ridiculous shift patterns and i will have to claim tax credist and so on whereas his life and work will remain largely unaffected and he can get back to where he is now considerably quicker than i can, particularly mortgage wise. Sorry for the rambling on, just so confusing and i want to know where i am likely to stand.

[pennypinchingnamechanger]

When you say "I will be NRP de to his ridiculous shift patterns" what do you mean by NRP? Are you saying you will be the non resident parent?