Collaborative Divorce a good idea?

[Middledaughter]

Hi

I have just had an initial appt with a solicitor who suggested a collaborative law approach to a separation leading to divorce. It sounds like a really sensible approach but I'm not sure if it would suit our situation. My husband is very controlling wand tells me th root cause of our relationship break down is me. He also drinks heavily. I'm not sure if this sort of approach is suitable. Does anyone have any experience with this? many thanks.

[STIDW]

It can be. One advantage of collaborative law is that professionals with different expertise can be brought in e.g. an accountant. One solicitor I know sometimes worked with a counsellor and that helped separating couples detach the emotions from the practicalities and behave in a realistic and measured way.

The problem is when no agreement is reached there is the bill for the collaborative lawyers and another for the lawyers in court proceedings. However after round the table negotiations some ground will have been covered and there still should be a better understanding of what can be agreed, what might be agreed and the outstanding issues so the costs of collaborative law may not be in vain.

[Collaborate]

Is H's lawyer also collaboratively trained?
Has your lawyer worked collaboratively with his before?
You can always have the first session, see how you feel about it, and sign the participation agreement in the second meeting if you're both confident about it.
You must both be willing to compromise, and work hard at achieving a settlement, otherwise it won't work. When it dies work, it's simply the best way to do things. Absolutely.

[Nappaholic]

I love the principle, but in practice it is probably outside the reach of most folks...mediation may seem a cheaper alternative, but the parties have to be on an even power footing.

Most Resolution lawyers will seek to negotiate a path through the minefield using a co-operative problem solving approach, but the parties need to be realistic and forthcoming with information.

[lostdad]

Definitely worth a go. The more amicable things are, the better.