Grandparents rights. what are the chances?

[MommyBird]

Hello! I posted this in 'chat' but thought i'd try here aswell.

I would love some advice regarding Grandparents and their rights regarding access.

Abit of background info.

MIL is Toxic, because of how she is, we stopped contact about 9 months ago. She is unreliable, selfish, only see's things from her POV, lets us down, makes herself the victim, never says sorry for her behaviour, spread lies, was very.open about other peoples buisness and medical infomation (mainly mine!)..and lots of lovely traits.

We (kind of) saw her once a week or whenever she was bothered she would cancel visits sometimes 30 mins before she was due to being tierd, having her done etc. Then moan she doesn't see DD enough.
She would choose the day/time. Dh would pick her up/take her home.

Sorry this is getting abit long now i'll cut it short.

In the end, she couldn't be arsed to see the DDs. Made us feel guilty and blamed us. I had just given birth, she even told us we wasn't making time for her when i was in labour with DD2.

Because of how she acting, and had been acting, we cut contact as it was just more stress that we didn't need.

Lots and lots more.

I just have, a horrible, sinking feeling we will get a letter from the courts about access and its making me feel sick.
I have an anxiety disorder since having PND with DD1 and i just worry so much.

She let DD1 down so much before we cut contact, shes older now and we have Dd2.

DH has said there is no way in hell she will go to court as that involves effort.

What are the chances she would get access?

[spanky2]

I have heard they have no rights. Make sure you put it in writing at dd's school if she goes as my narc mother and enabling possibly psyco dad turned up at ds1's school and did get unsupervised access. Have you thought of doing cognitive behaviour therapy for your anxiety? I have been quite ill with migraines as a result of worrying that my parents will turn up. We are moving house and dss schools so they can't find us. S**t isn't it?

[spanky2]

Just realised I am 9 months nc!

[MommyBird]

They don't know what school she is at.
Plus the teachers are REALLY good there, they need it in writting from a parent if anyone is picking her up plus you need a password so im not worried about that.

Ive had help for my Anxiety and was doing well. She told me i need to stand up for myself and that MIL was causing stress to mine and DHs relationship and stop pandering to her needs...
Which we did. We stood up for ourself..
And here i am now.

[spanky2]

Not great being here but it has to be better than being where we were.

[Nappaholic]

If MiL wanted to seek a court order, she would first need to attempt mediation, and she would need leave of the court after that before making an application for contact. Plus, lawyers are obliged to write first seeking agreement even before mediation. So, it is very unlikely you'd be served with court papers out of the blue!

[MommyBird]

Oh right. Ok!

So if she decided to do it, what we expect first?
I have no idea about how she would go about it.

I read that she has to prove she had a relationship with the grandchildren before contact was cut, is this true? And what proof would she need?

[92littlecat92]

I completely empathise with you about the hellish grandmother - I don't know what to advise but just wanted to say I understand!

[MommyBird]

Thank you :)

It's really shocking how many cases there are about Toxic Grandparents!

[Nappaholic]

I'd expect a letter first OP.

There is no pre-existing relationship hurdle as such, just the court has to find contact with g-parents is in the best interests of the child(ren). If it would cause grief for the parents, it's unlikely. If there were a stong relationship with the child there already, maintaining contact might override that grief.