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DM house being sold-anything she can do?

(60 Posts)
Edenviolet Tue 13-May-14 13:09:13

My parents got divorced years ago (1998i think) at the time df was given a 37% share of the house which was meant to be sold when dsis, the youngest child was out if education or 18 yrs old.

That came and went, dsis is now 27. Df is now insisting the house is sold and DM doesn't want to. He said she can't even take him to court as once the divorce agreement was broken years ago its now just up to him to sell when he wants despite her having a bigger share. It was df choice not to sell he decided not to as dsis had been unwell and then he just moved away and didnt mention it till now.
DM said she can't afford costly legal advice so I wondered if anybody knew if what df says is correct that he can just go ahead and put the house on the market as he is going to see an estate agent?


MellowAutumn Tue 13-May-14 13:24:21

Why does your mum think she can or should block the sale now ? To be honest she has had a pretty long time to sort buying your DF out.

AlpacaLypse Tue 13-May-14 13:26:57

Has your mum used her free half hour of legal advice about this yet?

Edenviolet Tue 13-May-14 13:29:37

I think because it was not sold as expected when it was meant to and df never mentioned it again she just thought that was it especially when he moved far away (they have never communicated well which is a big part of the problem).

She has never really had the means to save to buy him out as when he left he paid no maintenance, refused to see us for the first few years and she couldn't save a penny.
She has said she will go to court but he said it can't go to court that the terms of the divorce have been broken so he can sell whenever he like? I wasn't sure if that was true or not.

OwlCapone Tue 13-May-14 13:30:07

In all honesty, I think your mum should have been prepared for this ever since your DSis turned 18. If she can not afford to buy him out, then why should he do without his share of the equity?

Edenviolet Tue 13-May-14 13:31:38

Can she get that half hour anywhere ? I will tell her about that Thankyou.

To be honest I think she is burying her head in the sand. She wants to keep the house but ive tried to get her to think of other options if that's not possible but she won't entertain anything other than staying in 'her home'. If I could at least get her to find out what position she's in legally it would be a start then she could go from there.

OwlCapone Tue 13-May-14 13:31:43

I think he can probably insist it is sold whenever he wants because the terms of the divorce (18 or full time education) have been met. I don't think they've been broken as such because he did not insist on it being sold earlier.

OwlCapone Tue 13-May-14 13:32:58

Can you sell it to her as a brand new start? Lower bills? Can she afford to buy a smaller home?

Edenviolet Tue 13-May-14 13:33:01

When dsis reached 18 nothing happened. She was ill and at home so df just said nothing about the house.

Dsis moved out a few weeks ago, phoned df and told him to sell the house as she had left and wanted DM out and some money for a deposit so not a good situation all round.

madwomanbackintheattic Tue 13-May-14 13:34:20

I think she should out the house on the market and start looking for a smaller place. With all of the children out of the home, now, it makes sense for her to downsize in any case.

She can discuss the percentage with her lawyer, in light of the fact that your do hasn't paid any maintenance etc, and request that they seek resolution about the amount owing.

Is your mum still working?

Picturesinthefirelight Tue 13-May-14 13:34:34

I'm not sure about this.

Ok it was a long time ago but when my parents sold their house they had my then 18 year old brother living with them.

He had to sign a legal form to say that he would leave the house on completion before the sake could proceed as he was classed as a sitting tenant.

Edenviolet Tue 13-May-14 13:35:31

I've tried to broach the subject but she will not talk about any other outcome other than her remaining in her home so its very difficult.

Dsis sort of opened up a can of worms, it was ok for her to live here when it suited, yet as soon as they argued she left to live with her bf, yet DM still allows her to be registered at her address and store her stuff there so its all odd.

Edenviolet Tue 13-May-14 13:36:20

Ŵe are all adults now so the casa issue is long gone I think.

She works but earns so little

Edenviolet Tue 13-May-14 13:36:33

Csa not casa

NoMoreMarbles Tue 13-May-14 13:39:01

Just wondering whether part of the "terms" were that your DF pay maintenance? if he has never paid any at all then he "broke the terms" as it were and the court may work out how much maintenance is owed and take that off the amount your DF would expect to receive from the sale of the house. Do you know if the maintenance was set at an agreed amount?

It may be worth looking down that avenue as it may work out that he owes your DM and may drop the insistence to sell the house...

Fairylea Tue 13-May-14 13:40:36

How much is your dfs share? Could she take a loan out (or remortgage) that amount to buy him up and apply for a transfer of deeds so the house is transferred to solely her name? Could she take in a lodger or two to help pay it off?

QueenofallIsee Tue 13-May-14 13:47:37

Your sister sounds like a bit of a one, nasty phone call to make if it is as you describe.

The court will issue an order of sale to your mother at your fathers request but they should consider her health, alternative accommodation options etc I think. Even without dependent children at home, she does not forgo all right to decide what happens to the house even with your fathers stake of 37%. I would be helping her make a solicitor appointment to discuss if this is something she can resist without excessive costs etc but she will have to actually face up to this.

Edenviolet Tue 13-May-14 13:49:12

He has 37%

Not sure she could get a mortgage, she's in her 60s, no savings and a low paid job so I'm unsure if she could get one.

I don't think she could get a loan for that amount (house worth approx 450) so it would be a lot of money.

notapizzaeater Tue 13-May-14 13:50:46

Well there's no wonder your df wants his share. Tbh I'd be grateful he allowed her to stay there for the extra years and sell and downsize.

Edenviolet Tue 13-May-14 13:51:50

It wasn't in the divorce agreement that df had to pay maintenance. DM had applied to specs a but df said she would be ever get a penny and he gave up work and went on is so that he wouldn't have to pay anything.

DM was on benefits for a while then got a job as a dinner lady and childminder. Our neighbour used to bring us food parcels each week it was so bad at one point.

expatinscotland Tue 13-May-14 13:55:40

Sorry, but I don't blame him for finally going after his fair share. Your mother had plenty of time to get her act together.

HelpMeGetOutOfHere Tue 13-May-14 13:55:58

I'm not sure what the issue is, she knew this day would come one day. Its now here so she needs to sell. a 63% share of the house sale price will be quite a large chunk and I would have thought allow your mum to buy somewhere suitable.

I think she needs to work out how much cash she will get on the sale of the house and start looking. I really can't see how without eating into any equity in order to pay fees that the outcome could be any different.

holidaysarenice Tue 13-May-14 13:58:37

To be honest I think your mum is reckless.. She let you have food parcels whilst living in a house she can't afford!

What she did or didn't agree to back then re maintenance isn't important. Almost two/thirds of 450k is more than enough to buy her somewhere. She is being selfish and stubborn.

Edenviolet Tue 13-May-14 13:58:45

To be honest he should have done it when he was meant to as now we have the situation of DM burying her head in the sand and dsis acting like an entitled twat because she wants money towards deposit and wedding from the df share. I wish df had just sold it years ago.

Fairylea Tue 13-May-14 13:59:23

I wouldn't rule out the mortgage option based purely on her age etc. My mum is 65 and on pension credit and took out a mortgage 3 years ago in order to buy her current home - with Santander. She also had offers from nationwide and Halifax. It was a small mortgage (70k) in relation to the value of the house but this would be a similar situation to your mum if you say your dad owns 37 per cent. Is the house currently under mortgage? If not and is in effect equity then your mum would have a very reasonable chance of remortgage as the loan to value ratio for lending would be reasonable.

She could then get lodgers or students to help pay it back.

Obviously this isn't an ideal situation and of course there would be no guarantee re income but if it all went pear shaped she would be no worse off than she is now. She would have already paid your df off and she would have to downsize anyway.

I think she's actually been incredibly lucky to be in the house this long. When my ex dh left I had to downsize in order to pay off debts and remove myself from him financially.

It may be an upheaval but she would probably feel better long term to have financial freedom from your dad.

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