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Surname change for my 4 year old

(39 Posts)
oopsadaisyme Fri 02-May-14 22:55:42

This is a bit complicated, so bear with me:

My now 4 year old's birth cert is his fathers surname

His father now using his original surname, his actual fathers, as I now find out my son was registered in his step fathers name!?

Both me and my eldest have my surname, and I have requested the school use my surname as his 'known by name' - which they have done

We have no contact with 'Dad' anymore, he is not using the surname my son was registered with, so I don't see any problem with me legally changing his name to mine and his brothers?

So how can I change it officially??

prh47bridge Sat 03-May-14 01:49:28

Is the father named on the birth certificate? If he is you cannot change your son's name without his consent and the school was wrong to agree to your request to use your surname.

Alisvolatpropiis Sat 03-May-14 02:13:26

If the fathers name is on the birth certificate you must have his permission to legally change it.

oopsadaisyme Sat 03-May-14 02:31:21

Not changing 'legally' just yet, all official documents will be in his 'legal' name - I can use a 'known by' name now, which will be mine and his brothers surname

oopsadaisyme Sat 03-May-14 02:37:14

I need to know what forms I need to get hold of and how I get them to change legally - his father doesn't now have anything to do with him, his choice, so pretty sure can get him to sign?

meandcoffeeequalhappy Sat 03-May-14 06:51:48

You need the father to write a letter explicitly agreeing to the change, and it has to be very clear and signed and dated. Then you just get a deed poll, either yourself signed by witnesses/online/at a solicitor. It is not hard, but you need that letter. Personally as it is for a child I would pay for the solicitor to do it, just to make sure all i's and t's are crossed. You can't get the school to use another name, eventually the council will ask for proof of legal name change. If you can't get hold of dad, I should have thought if you went down the court route, you have a fairly compelling argument to change it, given dad doesn't use it either anymore.

prh47bridge Sat 03-May-14 12:06:15

You should not really even be using a "known by" name without the father's consent. The school is breaking government guidelines and a court ruling by agreeing to this. If you are sure the father will consent I suggest you get a letter from him and get on with it as quickly as possible.

oopsadaisyme Tue 13-May-14 14:29:00

I have no address or even telephone number for 'dad' anymore as he is hiding from responsibilities - new life, holidays a plenty, cash galore - he has changed his surname, and its just wrong that my beautiful son should have a name that connects him to no-one he knows -

How can I ask for consent from someone I have no contact details for?

Surely by disowning his four year old there should be some way around?

oopsadaisyme Tue 13-May-14 16:09:47

Have just changed via deedpoll - wasn't aware that I could but got some great info via MN - thanks to them xx

nomoretether Tue 13-May-14 16:27:01

You can't just do a deed poll for a child.

3xcookedchips Tue 13-May-14 16:28:09

Yet another change of name thread where mis-information reigns.

You haven't legally changed the name.

How much you charged to what you say you've done?

lunar1 Tue 13-May-14 16:32:39

I would leave your child's name as it is. It's his now and his to change when he is old enough if he wants. It's a pain for a child having their name changed and to have to go through life explaining it.

overthemill Tue 13-May-14 17:14:30

Even though you have done it by deed poll as it is a child this is not a legal change. It is unlawful to change a child's surname or the name they are known by without permission from the father. So you have not a leg to stand on. I sympathise in your situation but it is the law. My DHs ex tried to do this by the back door at school and doctors etc and we got legal advice. And my DH had joint custody!!!

droitwichmummy Tue 13-May-14 17:19:54

You have to apply to the Family Court for a Specific Issue Order to change a child's name.
If you ring your local court they will talk you through what you have to do.

prh47bridge Tue 13-May-14 17:44:27

As others have said this is not a legal change. Like it or not you cannot change your child's name without the consent of everyone with PR. If the father will not consent you need a court order. If you have no contact with the father you can apply for a court order but you will need to show the court that you have made reasonable efforts to contact him. Simply saying you don't have any contact details is not enough. The court would expect you to have tried to trace him.

oopsadaisyme Tue 13-May-14 18:41:51

Tbh - My Ds2 dad has disowned him - I am not talking about doing this unfairly or out of spite - my little four year old has a surname that even his father no longer uses - the father that cares nothing for him -

So at this moment - I want my son to 'belong' to a surname - whether it be by deedpoll or any means -

I do not have the money to change through solicitors at the present time, but my son deserves to belong to a family, through name, and i'm sorry, but having a name that binds us now means more than anything -

nomoretether Tue 13-May-14 20:48:12

And no one is saying you shouldn't but a deed poll is not legal in this situation. If you cannot get the fathers consent, legally you have no choice but to apply to the court. There is no other legal option.

oopsadaisyme Tue 13-May-14 21:17:24

So without spending thousands on a solicitor, and considering he has made it perfectly clear he wants nothing to do with his son, can I go directly to a court? If so how do I do that??

overthemill Tue 13-May-14 22:14:51

You don't need a solicitor. CAN can tell you which form you need to complete.

overthemill Tue 13-May-14 22:15:14

Sorry autocorrect on phone. CAB

oopsadaisyme Tue 13-May-14 22:24:27

over Thanks, I just need to know what forms I can submit to courts - if CAB can offer that support great - thanks

droitwichmummy Tue 13-May-14 22:40:03

Yes CAB will help and the court staff will make sure you get the right form (talk to us - we are very nice!)

oopsadaisyme Tue 13-May-14 22:48:53

droit thanks! (assuming your court staff lol!) x

I'm not doing anything that will get an argument from my Ds2 Dad, he doesn't even want contact with his son (which upsets me every day, arsehole as he is, my beautiful son is 4, and I would actually like him to see him, but apparently he's off getting married, holidays, cars, dogs (wtf?) everything)

I can't even apply for child maintenance because of his job and 'name change' -

All just been horrendous - just need my son with us now, in name and everything

droitwichmummy Tue 13-May-14 23:08:31

It's not difficult especially if his father will not object. You will have to do your best to let him know. He won't have to attend the court hearing if he consents - he will just have to sign to confirm. You will not have to see him unless you want to. Make sure you send the papers to him by recorded delivery so you have proof that you have informed him of the application.

oopsadaisyme Tue 13-May-14 23:20:23

I have not contact details for him? I have a work address?? will that do??

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