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Holidays, residence, specific issue orders and questions

(7 Posts)
izziewizzie Mon 24-Mar-14 20:15:22

I have been advised today that to cover the fact my ex is unlikely to agree to my dd going on holiday out of spite, that I should go to court for a residence order.

Now I am a bit concerned, because I see that as of April it is no longer a residence order, but a Child arrangement agreement (or such like).

Exp as I have said before, wants dd adopted by my DH, and has not seen/contacted her in five years.

However, I'm concerned that this new order is a) brand new and b) quite heavy on the whole access thing.

I do not want exp to have access to dd if I can help it, but I am concerned that if I go for residence a judge will say "oh ex Mr Izzie, I see you have no contact with your dd? Would you like access" which, my ex will say he does, as he will be furious that I have gone to court in the first place, and the fact he is trying to force a situation where my DH adopts her will be forgotten and he will get access.

So, my questions are, does anyone know anything about this new order? How likely is it that he could just march out with access, and if I was to go for a specific issue order for holidays could I ask it to run until she was 16 or would I need to return to court for each and every holiday we took?

I am due for mediation this week, although I am doubtful he will turn up, and I was going to ask for agreement over holidays with him, but it am not sure, again, if I need permission for each and every holiday, or if I can get one letter that says he agrees to me taking dd on holiday whenever I need to?

He has no reason to refuse holidays other than spite btw.

izziewizzie Tue 25-Mar-14 12:35:31

Can anyone help??

cestlavielife Wed 26-Mar-14 11:10:28

i think you need the proof that he is going to refuse the holiday first before you can act. I cant see you getting a court order for what he "might" do with no proof...
so email him, tell him you plan the holiday, then when you get the email back refusing permission, go to court for a specific order.

3xcookedchips Wed 26-Mar-14 11:25:59

Dummies Guide to Child Arrangement Orders

lostdad Wed 26-Mar-14 11:26:48

What cestlavielife says!

STIDW Wed 26-Mar-14 14:28:56

I agree you need to make all reasonable attempts to seek consent for a holiday before applying to court for permission.

It remains to be seen but I don't think the Child Arrangement Programme changes very much apart from the terminology e.g. residence will be replaced with the parent with whom the child lives. My understanding is the changes are intended to clarify to parents that both should usually be involved with their children after family breakdown. That has already been the courts' starting position for many years so the reforms are not likely to make a huge difference to the outcome of court cases, although parents may be diverted from going to court in the first place.

Is your husband intending to apply for step parent adoption? If so perhaps it's worth taking holidays in the UK this year and not upsetting the apple cart.

izziewizzie Wed 26-Mar-14 14:57:26


We are still undecided as to whether adoption is the best avenue for us yet. It's an awful lot of intrusion, and my ex changes his mind at the drop of a hat. I need to make sure that ex is at least to some extent cooperating with us on it before we commit ourselves to ss delving into our home life.
I have to go to court to try to change dds surname anyway, so am just seeing where to go from there.
We were thinking of DH applying for step parent pr, but that's also a residence order I believe?
The annoying thing is that ex could simply agree to these things, and has no real grounds not to after five years of no contact, so we could agree surname and pr between us, which would at least assure me that he is part way serious about adoption.

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