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Permission to take children abroad when you don't know where exh is

(39 Posts)
moldingsunbeams Tue 18-Mar-14 10:10:42

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Nappaholic Wed 19-Mar-14 16:21:49

Sorry. Correction to my last post...The court fee for a specific issue order is 215 quid, not 175...they went up (again) last July!

titchy Wed 19-Mar-14 16:32:38

UK isn't in Schengen area so no we are not free to move around without passports.

Nappaholic Wed 19-Mar-14 16:48:50

Little bit UK centric there, titchy! Sorry.

titchy Wed 19-Mar-14 17:57:30

Errr well we're in the UK - so yes of course my post was Uk-centric....

JaneinReading Wed 19-Mar-14 17:58:15

Best to tae a permission with you although I never had and when married and after divorce have never once been stopped all over the planet from Central America to ski resorts, Europe and the Caribbean. Perhaps I've just been lucky. All those were holidays. (And we all have the same surname). Fathers and mothers take children on holiday without the other parent all the time. Many go back to the home country every summer whilst the father stays in the UK for all but a week or two even in happily married couples or better off mothers are jetting off on breaks to warmer climes without the other parent 9 Kate Middleton did it with her parents and the baby recently.

BUT it sounds like the law requires some kind of consent. There may be of course be no other parent. I know a sperm donor mother. A friend of mine was widowed with 2 children. He takes them all over - Vietnam, Europe, USA (although I suppose perhaps he always carries his wife's death certificate with him - I've never asked).

I certainly have never bothered and never will.

ReadyisKnitting Wed 19-Mar-14 18:06:51

This is the 4th year running that I have been to court to get permission for a holiday. Each time the abusive xh uses it as an opportunity to attempt to manipulate, and extend contact. The court won't give ongoing permission, and the bastard is still on legal aid taking the piss out of the legal system. Whoever said it's a way for abusers to continue abusing is totally right.

JaneinReading Wed 19-Mar-14 18:36:35

I think legal aid for that kind of thing stops this year so you might it gets easier as he won't have lawyers.

Nappaholic Wed 19-Mar-14 19:21:38

Titchy - I meant I was being UK centric...but not all Mumsnetters are in the UK - hence my apology. I don't understand your comment otherwise - where is Schengen?

NomDeClavier Wed 19-Mar-14 19:27:12

Sometimes it's simple- there's no father on the birth cert or there a death cert. Border Officials see it all the time. Yes it's a pain to prove and it can't be fun dragging the paperwork to prove your partner is dead round with you but it's a relatively small price to pay when you consider the heartbreak international child abduction causes.

It really is best at the pointing of separation to get an order in place but it's not something people thing of, understandably. It's worth looking into when it cones up though and I certainly wouldn't advise anyone to hope for the best.

OldLadyKnowsNothing Wed 19-Mar-14 19:34:15

The Schengen Agreement is the legislation that permits most EU citizens to travel freely within the EU. UK took an opt-out on that one, we are in a Common Travel Agreement with Ireland, which allows us to travel there without passports (and vis versa).

ReadyisKnitting Wed 19-Mar-14 20:37:55

It does. His legal aid request went in at the end of march last year, and he's dragged it all out. Hope it's finished soon, but doesn't solve the problem of holidays. Bastard.

Nappaholic Wed 19-Mar-14 22:53:55

Thanks OldLady. That's very helpful.

CashmereHoodlum Thu 20-Mar-14 11:51:53

Thank you Nappaholic.

SavoyCabbage Thu 20-Mar-14 11:58:16

I've been stopped before and I do have the same name as my dc and I am married and living with dh, who is their father. So it's not that they know, it's that they check.

After my friend was separated from her dc at the airport when her dd answered 'america' when asked where she lived (too much tv) I drill my dc on what to say if asked.

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