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DPs ex sending debt collectors to my house

(26 Posts)
ItsRainingOutside Wed 12-Mar-14 15:34:06

My DP's ex of 2 years ago has somehow managed to have her mail redirected to my house (DP does not live with me). Yesterday I received a recorded delivery letter for her which `i refused to sign and last night, two county court bailiffs turned up to serve a court order on her. I live in the South of England and she is in Scotland. I emailed her today to tell her to sort it out and all I got was a barrage of abuse.

I had nothing to do with their split and we got together long after that.

She owes my DP so much money for debts which she left him with and he carried on paying just to keep the peace.

The post office don't seem to be able to do anything about the redirection and the court in Scotland aren't interested that she doesn't live here - their records show she does.

Not sure what to do.

Hoppinggreen Wed 12-Mar-14 16:41:51

Can't you just write not at this address on everything and stick it back in the letterbox?

specialsubject Wed 12-Mar-14 17:26:59

my thoughts exactly. People can have their mail redirected wherever they like.

print out some 'not known at this address, return to sender' labels, slap on, put back in post box.

not sure what the Scottish court are playing at, but she doesn't live there and you aren't her, so you have nothing to fear from the bailiffs.

don't contact her again.

tiredoutgran Wed 12-Mar-14 17:53:28

She may not have redirected the post, it could be that the debt collectors are associating her with her EXP and using that address because she has dropped off the radar. If it was redirected you would have received a letter from the post office to say that had been done and paid for, you could have challenged it at that point I suspect. Your EX needs to disassociate himself with her on his credit reference files.

tiredoutgran Wed 12-Mar-14 17:56:38

sorry, should have added, once you tell the bailiffs she doesn't live there they will report that back, if you now her address give it to them and they will deal with it from there. It may be a bit inconvenient for you for a while, ( I think 3 months is the minimum redirection you can get if that is what she has done) but you have nothing to worry about.

ItsRainingOutside Thu 13-Mar-14 14:17:24

Put "not at this address" on all her letters only to have the postman knock on the door this morning to ask why I've done it as there is clearly a redirection notice in place. I set up a redirection to have my DPs mail sent here and unfortunately she's taken to using his surname so I'm getting everything with that name on it. Sent letters out to her bank and loan companies giving them her son's address and they can now sort it out between them.

Technical Thu 13-Mar-14 14:32:00

So actually the ex hasn't arranged for anything. You made arrangements which have inadvertently meant all her mail is being sent to you. That must be very annoying for her.

DrankSangriaInThePark Thu 13-Mar-14 14:41:03

You'd better get that redirection notice cancelled then hadn't you? I'd be well fucked off in her place.

Why isn't he dealing with stuff to do with his previous relationship?

Technical Thu 13-Mar-14 14:43:28

So, you've opened her mail too (to know ac details and contact her bank). Blimey, no wonder she was annoyed.

Technical Thu 13-Mar-14 14:55:26

Sorry, not sure why but more thoughts keep popping into my head on this one. Why is DP's mail being re-directed to you if he's not living with you and why wasn't he dealing with his own mail? If he's been gone 2 years why was his mail still going to her house?

Are you absolutely sure these aren't his debts - you say she's using his name? It's not that easy to just use someone else's name, especially for things like banks - you need to provide a passport or similar ID in the name of the account holder.

Why do the bank need her son's address? They have her address, it's just that her mail's being re-directed in error.

I'd be absolutely furious if someone did that to me, especially when the fact that you were receiving the mail in the first place had absolutely nothing to do with me.(and did I menition, you opened it??)

It all seems very strange to me.

DrankSangriaInThePark Thu 13-Mar-14 14:58:57

My thoughts too Technical.

At very least, if the debts are in his name, then they are joint debts, surely? Or he is her guarantor.

Yes, and why doesn't he want his mail going to where he lives?

Something strange in the woodshed for sure.

Technical Thu 13-Mar-14 15:22:39

Are you sure she's an Ex??

He's been gone 2 years but hadn't redirected his mail and now it's directed to your house even though he doesn't live there and only because you arranged it and she's using his surname....Where does he live?

Sorry if my imagination's working over-time but there has to be more to this.

ItsRainingOutside Fri 14-Mar-14 10:02:54

My DP primarily works overseas and uses my address for all his mail. Nothing sinister in that.

As I said in the OP, debt collectors turned up and tried to serve papers IN HER NAME, nothing to do with him.

I set up the redirection for his mail, yes. For some reason, she's gone from using her maiden name to his name, given her debtors their old joint address and now I'm getting all her mail. I've emailed her and asked her to stop it but all I get are foul-mouthed rants about how she will do what she wants, I can't do anything to stop her, I'll get my comeuppance etc. etc. all ended with remarks about how stupid I am.

To be honest, it's gone from me receiving her mail to severe harassment on her part.

Shame about all the cynical negative comments on here but I should come to expect it from MSN these days.

DrankSangriaInThePark Fri 14-Mar-14 10:09:53

You're not on MSN.

And just because you don't like what you hear, doesn't mean that what you hear is wrong.

If he is sure these debts and letters are nothing to do with him then he needs to sort it. It's a no-brainer.

And it still stinks like a stinky thing from stinksville to me.

DrankSangriaInThePark Fri 14-Mar-14 10:11:28

And you said yourself you set the redirection up. IIRC, redirections work on addresses not people, so d'oh, of course you are getting the mail.

Fontofnowt Fri 14-Mar-14 10:14:20

Aye stinksville.

You aren't her and can presumably prove it so stop opening her mail and return it.
Sounds like you are being nosey and found more than you bargained for.

ginmakesitallok Fri 14-Mar-14 10:15:42

DrankSangria - redirections should work with names, NOT just addresses otherwise ALL mail for the old address would be sent to the new one.

When I set up a redirect I had to include full names, Royal Mail should not be redirecting her mail to you - complain to them

Hamsolo Fri 14-Mar-14 10:19:09

Well, redirections work on surnames, mainly. Not addresses. They should just redirect mail to the first name & surname you have stated. Unless you've paid more to have all mail from the surname. You could try asking Royal Mail to change the terms of your redirection. It does sound like your redirection might be what's causing the problem...

DrankSangriaInThePark Fri 14-Mar-14 10:19:46


I'd still be querying if the reason she has given the debtors their old address is because the debts are, in fact, their debts, and not just hers.

Viviennemary Fri 14-Mar-14 10:23:40

I don't understand why her mail is being directed to your house. She doesn't live there. I agree with writing not at this address and returning to post office. If they are joint debts between your DP and his ex they should be dealing with it not you.

Riakin Fri 14-Mar-14 10:29:40


Don't worry about it an yes the comments directed towards the new women (step mums) are always very negative. Site is known for bitter ex wives on other forums

prh47bridge Fri 14-Mar-14 11:13:32

redirections work on surnames, mainly

Redirections work on individual names, not just surnames. The form requires the title, first name, middle initials, surname, date of birth and signature of everyone for whom mail is being redirected. The form itself says that mail addressed to Mr & Mrs Smith will continue to be delivered to the old address unless there is a redirection covering both names to the same new address. There is even a box to tick if you want variants of first names to be redirected. If you don't tick it and you only list, say, "Susan Smith", mail to "Sue Smith", "Susie Smith" and any other variants should be delivered to the old address.

ItsRainingOutside - Both you and the ex have cause to complain to Royal Mail. They should not be redirecting her mail to you. I had similar problems in the past. It stopped immediately when I lodged a complaint online at

specialsubject Fri 14-Mar-14 12:34:08

I'm not an ex-wife, nor particularly bitter.

I am just baffled that a redirect has been set up, the Post Office are doing what you asked for although it isn't what you want, and you haven't just asked the post office to sort it out.

prh47bridge Fri 14-Mar-14 12:47:42

I am just baffled that a redirect has been set up

Because her partner works overseas and therefore wants his mail sent to her rather than being delivered to an empty house. The OP has explained that already.

the Post Office are doing what you asked for

No they aren't. The redirection is for his mail, not his ex's. As I pointed out above redirection is supposed to work on individual names.

just asked the post office to sort it out

I agree with that. Royal Mail is getting it wrong. The OP should complain.

CinnabarRed Fri 14-Mar-14 12:48:40

When I split with XH, we had huge problems with the postal redirects because we shares the same initials and surname.

So we were both AB Smith (not our real name, obviously!).

We both had redirects to different addresses - him redirecting post for Anthony Benjamin Smith, and me for Alice Bella Smith.

Inevitably mistakes were made. Fortunately we were amicable, so it didn't really matter. But it might have.

Assuming your DP and his X don't have the same issues as we did, I would make an online complaint at, and also keep a copy of your redirect letter to hand (it will specify which names are included in the redirect). That way you can show it to the postman or lady when you refuse to accept X's mail.

Separately, your DP does need to write to all his correspondents and inform them of his new address. Not least because you can only redirect for a maximum of 2 years.

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