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Am I being unreasonable?(4 Posts)
Hi all just looking for either a bit of advice or just a sympathetic ear really I guess. I have a neighbour who up until recently I kind of tolerated in the interests of a quiet life for all concerned. But lately Ive had my fill of it all and reaching the end of my tether.
Or am I being oversensitive and/or up my own a^se?
The neighbour moved in a few years ago now - 2 kids single parent -got on fine. Heavy weed smoker but no judgement as we all have vices I suppose.
After a couple of months she got a small breed dog to breed as she was told there was ££ in it. The dog was a barker from day one...day and night. It also had a habit of going for visitors to my home if it got out of the garden/house. We mentioned the barking and temper problems and suggested in a round about way it could be due to it never being taken out for walks--EVER! No change for next year and dog got pregnant. It gave birth and we had several months of continuous yapping till they were gone.
Then she began collecting cats. One at first ...then two.....three (currently she has 6 or 7!!). This is when our garden at the front started to become a cat toilet. Top to bottom is a polka dot pattern of cat sh*t.
The dog still never went out and carried on going for people-not just my visitors. Summer came and the smell out back was horrendous. Dog muck rotting is not conducive to summer barbies and sitting out back. Not to mention the sudden visible increase in rats-even during the day!
Next came the second brood of pups. This time the noise from them was astonishing and went on forever as they did not sell.
After about 9 mths they were given away but she kept one. A horrible animal - a male which was apparently the runt. It was very snappy though and barked virtually non-stop. So double the dog muck in the garden. Summer again and the flies all round was increadible-rats population went mad and I was forced to buy rat poison to put down the fence line in an attempt to control numbers.
I eventually told her the noise from the yapping was too much and was told to mind my own and f off.
I got an apology and a string of meely mouthed promises, but nothing changed. Fast forward the general election.
The benefit changes sparked a degree of panic in her. All at once we saw her entertaining a near constant string of suters, many of whome were utter riff raff--one even had smack head relatives come to the house kicking off over stolen 'wraps of brown' !
This while the ever stronger smell of green permiated our house. Prob just stromg tackle!
A failed pregnancy was followed within 2 months by another which eventually was successful. No regular partner or dad in sight--bedroom tax problem solved, income increased-Happy days. Her words not mine---seriously!
The male mutt kept waking the baby so it was got rid of. Shame the dog crap didnt disappear with it.
With kids comes noise--I get this -- ive had my own and know the score. But never wanted my kids to disturb my neighbours at any time. Even the occasional 'spat' was kept as low key as was poss. But the ones next door have had their lives turned upside down and all hell began to break loose. Eldest began doing the types of things 12-13 yr olds shouldnt. Often, without fear and up front too! Youngest seems to cry all day and can be clearly heard freaking after getting a 'tanned ar^e'. School attendance is a rarity as often they are used as live in child care to help with the baby.
The house is grim. The garden a thriving, writhing mass of K9 by product waste. Kids are left pretty much to their own devices unless it suits otherwise. Cats now in the half dozen - at least! Which love to shite all over my garden-lovely.
The early hours of the morning are bedlam nearly every night. A crying baby is met by the unrestrained ranting of its mother. They share the opposing bedroom to our own so the babies whailing and mothers screaming at it never fail to rouse us too. Worse still the cries dont wake her from her green fuelled slumber so it can scream for ages before mum gets up. Then she begins the abuse barrage at the baby...shut the f up--what the f do you want....f off you little bitch----enough is enough just go to ffing sleep---etc etc etc you get the picture. If non of this wakes you then the 4am worktop banging of the green chillum will-as its prepared for the next 2 or 3 deffies. Normally the baby will be crying throughout.
Recently, the dad of baby has started to appear more and more. Turns out he is quite the entreprenneur so to speak--horticulturally talented I hear, which might explain the smell inside my home. She has started to be at home less and less and it isnt unusual to not notice her about for days on end, bar an hour or two here and there in the day.
Speaking to us she brags about being much better off on CTCreds and how she spends a lot of time with dad now but makes sure to be home to sleep at her home every night. Wonder why??
To list then I live next to this........
*A barking mad dog that is stir crazy as it never goes for walks. its claws so long you can hear it on the flooring of nxt door as it scrapes around. The garden areas its toilet.
*Smell means I cant use our garden recreationally + theres the rats.
*Half a dozen cats at least-and use my garden as a toilet.
*Unruly kids that bang every foot step and argue lots with each other and mum.
*A bedroom tax dodging baby that is left to scream day and night (when home) and,
* treated to mums loving words of foul mouthed abuse esp in early hours of the morning.
* a weed (green, skunk) habit so heavy the smell lately fills my own home.
* A benefit 'invisible' or non-existant BF, babies dad all of whom have lucrative multiple benefit claims for CTCreds etc etc.
* totally unkept garden areas-grass never cut-full of debris of all descriptions and bin bags piled 3 high over about a 10ft length of rear and side of house.
I have tried the subtle hints and light requests. I get a momentary quell in the issues and the tokenary b.s promises and apologies. Nothing does or will change.
She's quite an idle, state owes me a living, up yours-like it or f off and lump it, I'm alright Jack kind of lass. A carefree, free loving kind of soul. HAHA
Unfortunately she's filthy with it with quiet enjoyment disturbing habits and pets. The noise is bad enough as one thing, but to have to put up with her stench of weed, dog and cat feaces and the knowledge of her digusting 'go to any length' benefit claiming attitude is pushing me to the limit.
I have to pay the bedroom tax. I didnt, and wouldnt do what she did to avoid it.
I have no pets who effect anyone in any way-no cats or dogs.
Keep my gardens as tidy as I can--I resent doing them at the mo due to the smell out back and cat muck at the front.
Everything I know about her is from her own mouth--or what she wants you to know. She is shameless and really doesnt give a flying f what anyone thinks about her and her ways-so confronting her is utterly useless and going the official complaints route is somethiing I'm not comfortable with but from what I gather is again futile as the system is geared up for pandering to the whims and ways of degenerates. Live like a pig and disturb others and get the sympathy and support of the authorities. I see little or no evidence of sanctions against folk like her.
Or am I just being a mard ass snob????
If you don't want to complain to the council about the rubbish, and to the council/police about the drug-taking, then what can you personally do to improve things?
Do you like dogs? Maybe you could take the poor dog for a walk sometimes, to improve the barking and smell situation.
I think you should calm down about what benefits she's claiming, unless you want to shop her on that. Her having money is not the issue, surely.
But moving would definitely be the best option.
Please contact SS regarding those poor children. You can make an anonymous call. Please do it, I urge you.
You could also contact the council regarding the garden, the non-emergency police number regarding the drugs, and the rspca for the dogs/cats.
I don't think you're being unreasonable, I think you've been very patient. It sounds vile!
Regarding the benefits - I would mind your own business though, and please avoid making blanket generalisations about "degenerates", I'm a single mum currently on benefits and I find that offensive. FWIW, the baby will not affect the Bedroom Tax, as baby can share with Mum until age 5, so is not counted - therefore her position will not have changed.
Hope things improve soon
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