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A very basic and silly question but how do I go about getting a divorce?

(12 Posts)
shakinstevenslovechild Tue 11-Mar-14 22:57:04

Dh and I made the decision today to seperate, and we will be getting a divorce.

I have no idea how to decide on a solicitor, or how go about filing for a divorce, or even what reason to give considering there isn't a reason as such.

We have seperate finances, no house or anything and are happy to sort out arrangements for our dc by ourselves.

Could anyone please advise me what to expect, or what I should ask for, or anything else I might need to know please.

TIA flowers

beansmum Tue 11-Mar-14 23:00:42

Are you in England?

shakinstevenslovechild Tue 11-Mar-14 23:10:00

Yes I am, thank you Beans

From that link it doesn't look like I can get a divorce for 2 years after he moves out as neither of us have behaved unreasonably and there have been no affairs or anything.

That can't be right, can it?

beansmum Tue 11-Mar-14 23:44:32

yep - that's right. You have to be separated for 2 years.

It sounds like you won't have to get a solicitor involved, provided everything goes smoothly with the arrangements for your dc.

All you need to do right now is tell anyone who needs to know that you're separating (eg council tax office, anyone you pay jointly, and if one of you is moving you need to do all the change of address stuff with banks etc) , and wait two years.

Then you fill in some forms and send them to the local court. You'll need to fill in a form about arrangements for the children too. If you both agree on everything, it should be pretty straightforward.

There's more info here with links to the forms you need.

beansmum Tue 11-Mar-14 23:46:53

oh, also, did you see the link at the bottom of the first page I linked to?


shakinstevenslovechild Tue 11-Mar-14 23:53:24

Oh gosh, that's a bit of a shock, I was hoping to just have it over and done with fairly quickly now that the decision is made.

I don't think there will be any problems, it's all pretty amicable at the minute and I don't think that will change.

Thank you for the link, that is really useful, I assumed I would have to get a solicitor, so it's good to know that we can do this without one, even if I do have to wait 2 years.

If one of us started seeing someone else in the next 2 years could that be classed as adultery on the forms and speed the process up?

Nappaholic Wed 12-Mar-14 00:02:39

Neither of you HAVE to have a solicitor, but you ought to seek some legal advice....for example, there are ways you could start a divorce without waiting another two years, which a solicitor would be able to explain to you. Also, if you want to avoid any financial claims in the future, you ought to have a "clean break order" at the end of divorce proceedings. Neither the divorce or clean break order require attendance at court, as long as it all remains amicable.

Seek out a Resolution lawyer in your area - you may be able to get a free initial consultation.

shakinstevenslovechild Wed 12-Mar-14 00:21:38

Thank you for the advice.

There is no particular reason that I need a quick divorce, I think i just want it all over now that we have made the choice and we are still getting on. I don't really want to go through a break up, wait 2 years and then go for a divorce and relive it all again really.

I'll have a look at people in my local area and try and get an appointment for next week and see what is what.

MaryPoppinsCarpetBag Wed 12-Mar-14 13:26:28

We did this - divorced amicably - and just put exaggerated trivial reasons for unreasonable behaviour for the purposes of obtaining a divorce. Nobody checks.

shakinstevenslovechild Wed 12-Mar-14 13:31:14

Could I be really nosy and ask what type of thing you put on the papers please?

I have an appointment with a solicitor next week, but I don't think they will allow me to lie will they? I don't want anything too awful about me or him on a legal document somewhere, but we would both like it over and done with as quickly as we can.

worldgonecrazy Wed 12-Mar-14 13:38:15

When I did mine (and current DH's divorce from his previous wife) I found the Family Courts to be extremely helpful.

It's worth knowing that most people who work at the family court are "court officials" and you can swear your affidavit in front of them much more cheaply than a solicitor/commissioner for oaths.

You can get a divorce quickly on grounds of unreasonable behaviour. Even having no common interests or focusing too much on career can be used as evidence of "unreasonable behaviour".

Nappaholic Wed 12-Mar-14 23:43:17

World is right on the "strength" of the divorce fact, parties are actively encouraged to keep behaviour allegations as mild as possible, whilst enabling the court to still find that "it would be unreasonable to expect" the parties to continue to live together.

I have seen allegations such as "the Respondent failed to hang out the washing properly" and "the Respondent works too hard", but basically you'll need to highlight 3 or 4 incidents of friction or disagreement, one of which needs to be recent i.e. "the last straw".

There is no longer any need to have an affidavit sworn at the court though, world. The (now) Statement in Support only needs to be signed, as there is a statement of truth at the end, instead of an oath. Oh, and solicitors only charge £5 or £6 for taking an oath - it's fixed by statute!

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