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can i do anything?

(14 Posts)
andreaem Fri 07-Mar-14 18:48:24

I spilt from my ex when our son was 1 1/2, he's now 9. My ex was abusive, I did press charges but they said there wasn't enough evidence to convict, so he got way with it. I've moved on, and been in a relationship for nearly 8 years and have two more sons. My ex has contact with his son which includes every other weekend and Tuesday after school, so apart from these times he has no reason to be near the school where all three of my children attend. But my ex keeps riding his motorbike past me and my children, when we are walking back from school, and If he doesn't see us the first time he goes past he goes past again and again till he does. And revs his engine which makes my youngest jump. I have asked him to stop doing it, but he just laughs and says he will do what he wants. Really don't know what to do or if there is anything I can do.

gamerchick Fri 07-Mar-14 20:10:19

I think that maybe giving your local police station a visit might help.. even if it's to get things logged.

What a wanker.. it makes you wish you had a crystal ball at the start of a relationship sad

NanaNina Fri 07-Mar-14 20:45:49

TRicky one this - has anything happened to make him start doing this (assume it is a recent occurrence) - I can imagine it is somewhat intimidating. I suppose you could ignore it and he might get bored. Trouble is with going to the police is that no offence has been committed so they are unlikely to be interested. What about your DH - could he challenge him about this?

gamerchick Fri 07-Mar-14 20:47:35

or you could take a length of wood and practice your javelin skills wink

Nappaholic Fri 07-Mar-14 23:18:45

Could you ask another mum or a friend to report his suspicious and potentially dangerous behaviour? The police might have a quiet word without your name having to come up.

tiredoutgran Sat 08-Mar-14 12:14:00

agree, he should be reported by someone not related to you as suspicious hanging around school at going home time, police will chase up his number and that may be enough to make him stop. Sensitive issue, strangers hanging around schools and driving back and forth could make him look like he is looking for a victim, which in a way he is, just not a child one!

Nicknacky Sat 08-Mar-14 12:30:11

I don't see how anyone else can report him. He is driving past so not hanging around the school. I would just ignore him unless it gets to the stage of harassment. Being devils advocate, he maybe just wants to get a look at his kids?

andreaem Sun 09-Mar-14 17:27:57

Hi everyone thanks for ur replies, the lollypop lady at the school sees him when he goes past. It's not that he wants to see his son, cause he does it when he knows his son has a club after school, so its just me and the little ones. On Friday he was picking my son up at 4 from a school club and still when past at 3:10, I went up a side road so he turned round just to go past me. Think I might just log it with the police. I also have a text from him admitting that he is doing it. I do like the javelin idea :-)

andreaem Sun 09-Mar-14 17:54:37

NanaNina, my DH has had words in the past and we never get anywhere. The ex just goes all smarmy and just laughs. It's a pointless exercise. think its intensifying at the moment cause he's been trying it get to me by sending text, but I'm ignoring him.( its best for my sanity )

andreaem Tue 11-Mar-14 17:51:37

Thanks everyone, I've put the wheels in motion and hopefully from tomorrow things will change. hope you understand.

Nappaholic Tue 11-Mar-14 21:38:54

Good luck! It would be good to know how you get on!

andreaem Wed 12-Mar-14 09:11:07

Thank you and I will do!

andreaem Wed 12-Mar-14 19:58:23

So I spoke to the police today and they are paying him visit hopefully today and going to give him a warning, and if the officer doesn't feel like he's paying attention or dismissing what's being said the officer will issue him with an official harassment letter, saying the next step will be court if he continues to harass me and my family. but hopefully it won't come to that cause I could do without it

Nappaholic Wed 12-Mar-14 23:55:50

That's excellent news. Getting the police interested is often the hardest part! If he continues the harassment, even in a different form, don't just let it go...keep the police informed. It is then up to them if they want to take it further..but you need to report any further naughty behaviour. Good luck!

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