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Will re who will become carer of children.

(14 Posts)
needaholidaynow Tue 04-Mar-14 17:32:14

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

pluCaChange Tue 04-Mar-14 18:35:03

I'm not a legal type, but perhaps a good principle to start with is naming some "backup" guardians, who are, again, not DP's parents or family.

Hopefully there will be someone else along to answer, soon. smile

tumbletumble Tue 04-Mar-14 19:26:43

Very good idea to write a will. You can either see a solicitor, or, if your will is pretty straightforward, you can get a do-it-yourself will writing kit from WHSmith and follow the instructions (signing in front of witnesses etc).

vj32 Tue 04-Mar-14 21:55:22

See a solicitor. Our wills cost £250 and are written in such a way that they allow for future children and some changes in circumstances. We covered guardianship and appointing trustees to look after money and assets we would leave for the children (life insurance would pay off mortgage).

I think the will could still be challenged, but the court would take your wishes into account and if the children have no contact with DP's family anyway I don't see how they would suddenly be granted access.

BikeRunSki Tue 04-Mar-14 22:00:13

See a solicitor. Ours was brilliant and making us think really hard and came up with a few circumstances/situations we hadn't thought of.

Meglet Tue 04-Mar-14 22:00:18

Mine was £120 with a solicitor. I think it's worth it for making them as watertight as possible.

RandomMess Tue 04-Mar-14 22:02:40

Mumblechum/Marlow Wills is a very inexpensive will writer on MN - she has an ad.

Fantastic advice etc. Highly recommended from me.

meditrina Tue 04-Mar-14 22:05:19

If you and DP both make wills expressing the same clear preference for guardianship (and control of any money/assets) then although it can be challenged after your deaths, the challenge isn't that likely to succeed.

You need advice from a solicitor or proper will writer to make it as water-tight as possible.

woodlandwanderwoman Tue 04-Mar-14 22:08:33

See a solicitor. We have made the same difficult decisions recently. I think it's important to think about who you WANT to have guardianship of your DC although I fully appreciate this is often a function of who you don't.

I am no expert but I believe that if your DP have legal guardianship of DC in your will their is very little that DPs parents (DPPs?!) can do to change that. It is worthwhile asking the proposed guardians if they would be happy to take on the role before signing.

Bear in mind your circumstances could change at anytime so what you write now does not have to be forever as you can change it whenever you like. You can also add wishes that are not legally binding but that you want to be respected.

This is why it's worthwhile going through a solicitor, they can advise you on all these aspects and how to manage them. Good luck.

mumblechum1 Wed 05-Mar-14 10:16:43

flowers Thank you for the recommendation RandomMess smile

OP, you do need to appoint guardians within your will and I would suggest that you specifically exclude either specific people or your children's paternal extended family from having residence.

You can then also write a letter of wishes (which you can destroy when your children are over 18) to explain the reasons for wishing to exclude them.

In the event that there was a dispute, and it ended up in court proceedings, your reasons would be there in black and white. The appointment of the guardians can always be overturned if the court considers that the children would be better off with someone else but in the circumstances you describe (close relationship to maternal grandfather and hopefully other maternal relatives, little or no relationship to paternal extended family), there would have to be some pretty compelling reason for going against your stated wishes.

I would strongly recommend that you put in a back up or possibly joint guardian in case your dad isn't around, or isn't able to act.

RandomMess Wed 05-Mar-14 18:47:28

Obviously mumblechum1 is the expert but I have ensured that we have several guardians most of them more our generation and also our executor whilst not an appointed guardian knows to keep my family away and will act in my dc financial best interests. Don't feel that you have to stick to family.

mumblechum1 Wed 05-Mar-14 21:16:20

Absolutely, lots of my clients have appointed close friends rather than family, not necessarily because they don't get on, but if the friends are local and the children are secondary school age it may work out better than them being uprooted to a new area and new school to be with family.

needaholidaynow Fri 07-Mar-14 18:32:04

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

mumblechum1 Sat 08-Mar-14 12:26:01

Hi OP, making your will should be straightforward from what you say. As to the cost, when I was in high street practice I was typically charging £350 plus VAT for a pair of standard mirror wills, so £420 altogether. I now charge £170 as a freelancer because I don't have those overheads, and that's exempt from VAT.

You may get a cheaper will elsewhere but it's very important to check that the will writer is a member of the Institute of Professional Willwriters. Members are thoroughly vetted, and we also have to prove ongoing competence through professional development and have to have professional indemnity insurance. So someone may quote you a £50 will or whatever but it may not be up to scratch.

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