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one night stand pregnancy

(36 Posts)
sontrouble49 Tue 25-Feb-14 19:56:55

where does my son stand. he had a one night stand with a girl who became pregnant and decided to keep the baby. she did not discuss the pregnancy with him and despite him saying he isnt able to support her emotionally of financially right now, as he is a student, she persists in pressurising him to be involved with her and the baby. it is effecting his health now. he has agreed to a paternity test but I dont know where he stands legally?
any advice helpful

EdithWeston Wed 26-Feb-14 06:52:02

sykadelic15 agree with your last comment. I was also a bit taken aback by the number of posters who assumed he had been reckless with contraception. Every method has a fail rate.

Cigarettesandsmirnoff Wed 26-Feb-14 07:01:44

How do you know she hasn't had other one night stands ?

I wouldn't be doing anything until the DNA test comes back. Then act accordingly from there.

Speak from bitter experience as a close relative was told he was the father of twins, after a one night stand , all over facebook all round the village. She was 100% certain they were his.

DNA proved otherwise.

EdithWeston Wed 26-Feb-14 07:20:22

I think the need for a DNA test has already been accepted.

This isn't AIBU. We know nothing about the character of the future mother other than being able to surmise from the choice of the word "girl" that she is very young.

OP: if you haven't been put off by all the additional non-legal points, I was wondering when the baby is due?

ToffeeOwnsTheSausage Wed 26-Feb-14 08:03:14

sykadelic - how can you be "sure he wants to help"? Surely if that was the case he would have told his mother that and she would be posting in a different way. You know nothing other than what the OP has decided to tell on here.

itsbetterthanabox Wed 26-Feb-14 08:06:00

How do you think being pregnant and looking after a newborn affects her health!?
He needs to pay for his child. He chose to have sex knowing the consequences of sex.
You should encourage him to have a relationship with his child. It will be a huge mistake to abandon your child/grandchild. He should be parenting as much as the mother. They are equally responsible for the child.

Lj8893 Wed 26-Feb-14 08:13:03

When is the baby due?

He needs to get a DNA test ASAP!
If it comes back that the baby is his, he will need to pay csa (probably not while he is a student) and he needs to think about weather he wants contact with his child. And then go from there.
She cannot force him to have contact, but she can force him to pay csa once he is earning.

ToffeeOwnsTheSausage Wed 26-Feb-14 09:38:34

As the child can't be made to pay for the baby then surely the morally right thing to do is for the Grandparents to give financial help.

KatAndKit Wed 26-Feb-14 09:57:50

No, I disagree,grandparents should not be held financially accountable. Especially if her son is an adult.if neither of the babys parents is earning then that is what the benefits system is for. Once he is earning of course the baby's father should contribute, and once she is able, the mother should also be working. If grandparents want to be involved that is great but to say it is their moral duty is wrong in my opinion. I do think it would be a huge mistake to walk away, and a mistake that would be hard to put right further on.

ReadyToPopAndFresh Wed 26-Feb-14 10:00:58

If the parent is underage why is it unfair to expect the grandparents to help pay? If her son committed a criminal damage against a neighbors house she'd had to pay for it. You are responsible for your children's actions until they are old enough to be responsible.

Cigarettesandsmirnoff Wed 26-Feb-14 10:50:38

The benefit system is in place for these situations. The grandparents have no financial responsibilitys.

STIDW Wed 26-Feb-14 15:42:47

yAs others have said whether or not your son is involved with the mother or child if he is the father he has a statutory obligation to pay child maintenance.

Under new rules a full time student's income is taken into account and no longer do student's automatically qualify for a nil rate assessment. The exception to this would be if a student was under 20 years of age and attending a course of non advanced education (A Level standard or less) or government approved training. Otherwise gross income is used to determine whether a student has an income of less than £7/week. If their income is more than £7, and £100 or less, a paying parent will have the liability to pay child maintenance at a flat rate of £7/week.

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