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Stbx making life very unbearable for me and children.

(11 Posts)
christmasclean Mon 24-Feb-14 07:59:04

He threatened on Saturday to cut off has and electric, because I refused to sell house and give him half. I was at work all day and night yesterday . Woke up this morning to the realisation of no hot water or heating.
I've had a look and turned the timer back on it was switched off. Still nothing. Eventually founded a switch on the boiler and got it back on.
What can I do to prevent this happening again whilst divorce going through my solicitors appointment is Thursday . It's a load of other stuff to

DPotter Mon 24-Feb-14 08:14:27

So somehow your Stbx gained entry to your home and turned off the boiler ? If so I'd get the locks changed as a first step. Then I'd contact the gas & electricity people to check you are the account holder and ask to remove his name if he's on the account.
good luck with the solicitors on thursday - make a list of aggrevating things he's said / done so you can let the solicitor know

christmasclean Mon 24-Feb-14 08:34:08

No we are still living in the mortgaged family home
He won't leave

christmasclean Mon 24-Feb-14 08:36:45

Is making things inbearable so I leave or give him half of everything ,
He sleeps on sofa he is a drunk he lies in his make shift bed all weekend with a hangover and takeaways everywhere. Etc etc

RedHelenB Mon 24-Feb-14 10:00:41

Go & see a solicitor who will talk you through the steps needed in order to make him vacate the property = cutting off gas & electric is abuse & a court order can be got so you have the house for you & the kids until you agree your financial settlement. I know advice is not to leave a property but a friend of mine did because her ex was bullying their dd while she was at work & getting drunk & she managed to get the order & get back in the house.

cestlavielife Mon 24-Feb-14 12:41:25

talk thru options with solicitor leaving versus staying and trying to get him out - paying to get him removed may be the same costs as a deposit on a rental to move to - sometimes getting away is the only option - to have a peaceful pleasant home for you and DC in the interim - then you can let court sort out who should stay in the house longer term and also how much of equity should go to whom. dont agree to anything at this stage. .
look up rentals nearby so you know what the options are.

christmasclean Mon 24-Feb-14 12:56:17

It's very expensive here to rent and I pay the mortgage on the house. I am stuck between a rock and hard place I can't afford court costs and orders. Reaching a financial agreement is looking impossible. It's such a mess.

IAmNotAMindReader Mon 24-Feb-14 14:37:43

As your back is against the wall with this I would contact womens aid to see if what he is doing is classed as abuse and if so what steps can be taken to have him removed from the property. Your local police forces DV section may also be able to help with this. I am sorry there isn't much more I can think of that won't involve solicitors and court fees.

christmasclean Mon 24-Feb-14 15:33:43

Thankyou for now I have written it down. It's such a horrible experience.

Longlive2014 Mon 24-Feb-14 17:10:06

apply for an non-molestation order and occupation order maybe?

TheHoneyBadger Wed 26-Feb-14 17:00:46

do make sure it's recorded and evidenced that he isn't paying the mortgage. do you have your own bank account that it is paid from? if it is clear that you have been paying that should help.

think somehow you do need to find funds to get legal advice. this isn't sustainable for you or dd.

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