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Changing DD surname

(25 Posts)
baby0684 Sun 23-Feb-14 18:02:08


I wondered if there was any possibility of changing daughters surname without Ex agreeing.
He doesnt see her, doesnt want anything to do with her. I asked him a couple of years ago, one of the last times he saw her. And he said no. She is nearly 7.

We were not married, but he is on the birth certificate. I have no clue where he is now, cannot contact him via phone, post, email or fbook.

Any advice is greatly appreciated. x

NatashaBee Sun 23-Feb-14 18:05:44

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

baby0684 Sun 23-Feb-14 18:23:01

School wont let her be 'known as'.

MaryPoppinsCarpetBag Sun 23-Feb-14 18:35:00

This looks like a handy guide's%20surname.pdf

MaryPoppinsCarpetBag Sun 23-Feb-14 18:35:24's%20surname.pdf

prh47bridge Sun 23-Feb-14 18:43:10

As your ex has PR you cannot legally change your child's name, either officially or unofficially, unless you have either his consent or a court order.

To get a court order you would have to show that you had made reasonable efforts to trace him. There are agencies that will trace him for you. Even then you may find the courts refuse to grant an order as they tend to be of the view that it is important for children to keep the father's surname as a link with him.

overthemill Sun 23-Feb-14 18:52:01

You can't change surname without fathers agreement. It may seem unfair but it's the law. Schools generally won't change name known as either (which I agree with) as it isn't lawful. When child d enough it can change name by deed poll

baby0684 Sun 23-Feb-14 19:06:06

How old does the child have to be to change by deed poll?


prh47bridge Sun 23-Feb-14 19:29:24

Once she is 16 she will be able to change her name if she wants.

higgle Sun 23-Feb-14 19:31:32

I was a friend of the solicitor whose own personal circumstances became the subject of the leading case - his ex- wife wanted to change his daughter's surname to that of her new husband, court said that it was not permissible without consent or court order.

RalphLaurenLover Sun 23-Feb-14 22:13:11

I changed my son's without my Lo's fathers permission (however he was granted PR in court and not on the BC)

changed it on with my surname then just updated the Dr's, HV, Passport office etc.

Lo's father would have to take me to court to get it changed and due to him never having his name in the first place and our names are still the same it wouldn't get changed.

mumtobealloveragain Sun 23-Feb-14 23:37:50

RalphLaurenLover- Are you sure it's legally binding given that you didn't obtain his permission before changing it by deedpoll?

prh47bridge Mon 24-Feb-14 00:25:00

RalphLaurenLover - I'm afraid your son's change of name was illegal. The form provided by is specifically for use by someone over 16 who is changing their own name. It cannot be used to change the name of a child. If you followed the adverts on the site to one of the other deed poll providers you would find that most of them contain information about using a deed poll to change the name of a child which specifically says you need the consent of everyone with PR. Indeed, most of them require evidence that you have appropriate consent. It doesn't matter how your ex got PR, if he had PR at the time of the name change you could not legally change your son's name without his consent.

I am not overly surprised that the GP and home visitor accepted the deed poll. Your son's school should not have done so and the passport office should not have issued a passport in the new name. Both should have asked you for proof that you either had a court order permitting the change of name or that everyone with PR consented to the change.

I suspect you are wrong as to the outcome if your ex took you to court. The court would be of the view that there has not been any legal name change so, rather than him having to justify a return to the original name, you would have to justify a change to the new name.

mumtobealloveragain Mon 24-Feb-14 01:47:52

OP have you thought about the consequences of changing a 7 yr olds name? Sounds like it would be nothing but confusing and hassle for them. Why do you want to change it?

AdoraBell Mon 24-Feb-14 02:05:44

Don't know if it's possible but could you double barrel her name, so adding your surname as opposed to actually changing hers? Then just work on dropping his name from use over time.

RalphLaurenLover Mon 24-Feb-14 02:13:32

Mumtobe - they took them because the BC has no father on. I changed my surname due to it have hideous consequences I don't speak to my father my son has never met him he doesn't care for us, his family are trouble, jail, drugs, alcohol, crime, gangs etc if people know one of them they know them all. Something I don't want to be associated with and moved towns to be away from.

Having that name caused trouble for myself I wouldn't wish it upon my son, not anyone else.

RalphLaurenLover Mon 24-Feb-14 02:16:36


I was advised from the 'official' deedpoll site (blue website) that due to father having a no contact order and not on the bc to do it as that option because as far as they are concerned I'm the only one with PR on his BC and nobody would question it. As like the passport office they only have my name on file not his dad's

lunar1 Mon 24-Feb-14 02:24:20

It's your daughters name though, not just his. I think you need to let her do it herself when she is 16 if that's what she wants.

MooseBeTimeForSnow Mon 24-Feb-14 03:32:12

If he isn't named on the Birth Certificate then he won't have PR unless he subsequently married the OP or obtained a Court Order for PR.

prh47bridge Mon 24-Feb-14 09:47:13

RalphLaurenLover - There is no "official" deed poll site. All deed poll sites are run by private companies. I think you are referring to UK Deed Poll Service. They like to give the appearance that they are somehow official (as do some others - The UK Deed Poll Office springs to mind) but they are actually a limited company run by a married couple (Mr & Mrs Barratt) and have no official standing at all.

The advice they gave you is, effectively, that you will get away with an illegal name change because the father has no contact and got his PR through a court order rather than being named on the birth certificate. Their own website has a page about changing a child's name which states the law correctly. If you check you will find that disagrees with the information they gave you.

I'm afraid they lied to you in order to get your money. The deed poll they gave you is not valid. The father would almost certainly be able to get the name change reversed if he took the matter to court.

You should demand your money back and refer the matter to trading standards. You will obviously be in a stronger position if they gave you the advice in writing. If they gave it verbally I expect they will deny having said that.

prh47bridge Mon 24-Feb-14 09:47:57

MooseBeTimeForSnow - RalphLaurenLover has already told us the father got PR by court order.

overthemill Mon 24-Feb-14 11:32:43

my dh's ex tried to change their two dcs surnames at school and gp etc by double barrelling it with hers (this then kind of matched her new dcs names which were double barrelled with her and new dhs name (does that make sense?). As soon as we discovered it (on school report and a prescription drug) dh took advice. Note that he has these dcs 50 percent of the time as they have shared care. A letter was sent to docs and school and we noted that their brand new renewed passports only showed their legal name (proving that it wasn't approved by dh). We got unctuous grovelling apologies from all authorities concerned and grief from the ex for years to come. He agreed that the kids could add in her surname as a middle name but neither of them ever attempt to double barrel it - they are both now 18 plus - and rarely use it on any documents like certificates or bank accounts. He was really clear - they were married when dcs were born and ex chose to change her name on marriage. the dcs also had his name. Just because she chose to shag someone else, get pregnant, walk out and change her name on remarriage doesn't mean his dcs should have a new name.

RalphLaurenLover Mon 24-Feb-14 11:34:37

I didn't use there service I used the free one
My son never had his fathers last name so if he takes me to court all he would achieve is changing my sons name back to my old surname and I'd still call him by the last name I do now.

prh47bridge Mon 24-Feb-14 12:44:57

As I posted previously, the form used by is for someone over 16 changing their own name. It is not suitable for a parent changing their child's name. I am surprised (and disappointed) the passport office didn't spot this.

If the father did force a change your son's passport would have to be changed to use your old surname. The school, GP and others would also have to use your old surname.

Given that there is no contact and it appears the passport office has accepted the deed poll you may well not have problems. But legally your son still has your old surname and will continue to have it until you get the father's consent to the name change, or you get a court order, or your son reaches the age of 16 at which point he is entitled to choose his own name.

RalphLaurenLover Mon 24-Feb-14 12:57:11

As I said P

We now only go by surname B not surname A nothing would change for me

OP asked If she could technically she can illegally or legally is a differently story

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