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Advise needed for court

(5 Posts)
minnie86 Sun 09-Feb-14 21:28:07

I had two children with learning difficulties who had been on child protection due to there fighting, my youngest sons sexualised behaviour and anxiousness well obviously this has been diagnosed as adhd for my youngest and autism for my eldest (not abuse at all) well there both now in long term care and I only see them every two months.

My daughter was placed in her dads care in the proceedings which I had to agree on!
Now almost 8 months later and almost 4 months after the final hearing her dad will not allow me to see her as the order stated Wednesdays and alternate weekends, my solicitor says he's in his right as the order states reasonable contact, we both had to agree on every Saturday last month as I've put her in dance class which I want to take her and its that day I can only see her now, but now every two weeks that Saturday his mum babysits her so he can go out so I miss that Saturday now, its 3 hours a week on a Saturday at my mums home I'm supposed to see her he won't let me have her at my home, my home was described by social workers as very clean and well presented and decorated to a high standered I have plenty of toys here for her to play with and her bed is her but he's not allowing overnight stays or even stays all together at my home his excuses are always "il let you know" and "not any time soon" and asking won't make it quicker" I'm at my wits end now and was approached by a few people I know who asked me were my childrem removed due to me sexually abusing them, I responded NO and instently knew it was him spredding these childish roumers and its effecting me now I've lost my sons I've lost my daughter who's only 4 she bearly knows who I am now and I've lost her for good, I can't afford a barrister as legal aid is now gone for this, although I can go court and ask for my court fee to be waved with a fee remission but I will get ripped to shreds in court by them, my faults were my daughter fell at home and needed butterfly stitches the cut was 1/2 a cm due to her tripping on a baby bouncer and 6 months previous to that she has nappy rash and the nursery told my dad who picked her up but failed to tell me it needs medical attention I automatically used sudacrem on her and it went after 5 days but the nursery described it as sever, and when I found out they reported me I took her out she was two at the time and I was paying almost £200 a month and it was becoming unaffordable I know I've not been the best mum but I try my best all the time and get knocked down all the time every body thinks I'm a pedophile because of him and I'm not I've never done anything like that never been in trouble before and thought I coped well untill all if this, the local authority sided with him even though he used to smoke drugs but as he had not been arrested before they sided with him, he only want my daughter to get benifits money I feel horrid I've lost my two sons now I am loosing my daughter too I have two children at home under a care order which is likly to be discharged by the local authority soon as everything is going fab, just need good advice as my solicitor can't help me anymore unless I pay and in my local area of Cheshire there is no support for situations like this.

iheartdusty Sun 09-Feb-14 21:35:03

if the order says 'reasonable contact' and you aren't getting what was agreed, you could ask for a defined contact order that spells out what days and times you see your daughter.

They won't be able to 'rip you to shreds', unless something new has happened - the court presumably heard all about the things you describe before the final hearing, yet you have a contact order - so the judge thought contact was OK in principle, and you should not have to prove that again.

if the care order is discharged, you will be in an even better place to apply for regular defined contact.

minnie86 Sun 09-Feb-14 23:03:29

I will be asking to that, thank you.
I can't afford a barrister like I said and would like support by a legal advocate just for legal guidance, when I said the court will rip in to me I mean as they will refer to last year when the children had to be removed and stay with my parents then the children went into care and my daughter went with her dad, there was no defined proof of abuse but as the two boys had outstanding appointments that I should have made them available to, and because of that factor they always side with him I'm not going to argue or to pick at things I just want to see my daughter I need to print a c100 form and do it that way but after filling it in then what? Do I post it to my nearest family court and wait for a date? I'm so unsure on anything to do with court

lostdad Mon 10-Feb-14 09:33:12

`Reasonable' contact means absolutely nothing unfortunately and legal professionals will happily argue for days on the point.

The court hopes that children will have a meaningful relationship with both parents - which generally includes overnight contact. In my experience if you wait for an resident to agree to extending contact you'll wait indefinitely and then, when you act you'll be told that as the children as settled in a routine it would be wrong to change the status quo.

Which means you should act now.

I would therefore recommend you make sure you have your proposals (and his refusals) in writing - although if he doesn't respond you can always state this latter.

Get a C100 and complete it in preparation. It may be worth considering a McKenzie Friend if you can't afford a solicitor. Google the term to find out what they are (we're not solicitors!) and what they can and can't do. Some of them have experience in public as well as private law - I know a few who have helped in cases like yours.

I would also advise you to contact Families Need Fathers (don't be put off by the name - there are lots of mums who are members in your situation and get help) and go to the local meetings - there is one in Liverpool for a start.

PM me if you need any more details.

minnie86 Mon 10-Feb-14 11:35:57

I will email them as I live not far from Liverpool and hopefully it will help prepare me.

I was treated unfairly by csc as I did not physically hurt my children I was just so warped up in juggling four children and my partner helped a lot with taking the children to and from school and as school didn't see me they couldn't discuss concerns they had about my sons, as my sons fought everyday and I came worse off with bruses and scratches on my arms and the boys had bruses they said its me abusing them??? Then I missed two eye tests two years ago and my son had constipation but carried on giving him his prescription for it and didn't take him to see his gp as they said he had mentioned bleeding bottom but they suspected sexual abuse but I changed his diet and he was ok after that then after months and months of me keeping up with medical apps my youngest son said a very sexual word he apparently heard in school which led to proceedings against me, but my youngest still dismisses things on me I even almost had police out as my son said I tell him the willy monster eats naughty boys willys??? Bizarre but upsetting because he nearly had an AEB interview I keep telling myself I wish he would stop lying and tell the damn truth but it's not going to happen, all accusations conveniently stopped when the final hearing was over but this all of it is being used and will be used against me in court.

I've spoke to Mckenzie friend but I still owe money from last year which I need to pay before I seek more advice as they helped me a lot in my proceedings and helped me in court with all the advice and support and preparation I can email him but doubt il hear bk

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