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Dad's rights?

(6 Posts)
MikeWazowski Tue 04-Feb-14 15:00:23

The background in brief is me and exP separated 2 years ago after 11 years together. we have a son born 2002, exP is named on birth certificate.

I understand as we were never married and birth was registered in 2002 that father has no parental responsibility - is this correct.

My main query now is that he wants ds to meet his new gf, ds has severe special needs and I can't see how it is in his best interests to meet her, it will just distress him unnecessarily which will have a negative effect on his well being. Can I stop exP from introducing gf to ds?

STIDW Tue 04-Feb-14 18:03:11

On the other hand children often benefit from having a number of adults involved in their lives and arguing about the girlfriend is likely to cause bad feeling and more upset to your child than meeting her. Children have the right to a meaningful relationship with both parents and relationships with extended families and friends, including new partners, are deemed important.

Although the father has no Parental Responsibility he can acquire PR by agreement or applying to court for a Parental Responsibility Order. If he has been in regular contact there is every probability PR would be granted.

Unfortunately if you're happy for your DS to have contact with his father then you have to trust him to make decisions which you may or may not agree with.

How new is the GF? If she's likely to be a permanent fixture in his dad's life then he'll have to meet her at some point. Alternatively if she really is a NEW girlfriend then I do agree best not, but unfortunately it's not actually your decision to make. You may have a case of appealing to XP's better nature if your DS's SNs specifically make it a problem for him to meet new people and/or form attachments with people who might leave, but other than that it's his decision.

KatAndKit Tue 04-Feb-14 18:12:38

He can easily get parental responsibility through the courts. I am not sure why meeting his new partner would be so distressing. Are you sure you are not projecting your own feelings about this woman? What if your ex lives with her or even marries her in future? If she is a serious partner your DS is going to have to get used to her? Are you never going to meet someone new in case of potential distress?

I think the best thing would be to express your concern about how your DS will cope with a new partner and try to have a sensible discussion as parents about how to handle the situation to minimise any problems. I don't think you can say that you don't ever want your son to meet your exes new partner, that is not realistic.

MikeWazowski Tue 04-Feb-14 18:43:46

Thanks, it's interesting to see other peoples perspectives. I'll read properly later and be back after ds is in bed

racmun Tue 04-Feb-14 18:55:17

I think you need to trust your exp to do the right thing.

Presumably he's accepted parental responsibility by paying maintenance so why would you try and make an issue out of that.

You trusted him enough to have your son with him and he is his dad. Does he try and control what you do with your son.
Also why would meeting his new gf distress your son? I'm assuming they wouldn't sit there kissing in front of him.

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