Mother and baby foster placement

[Callxmexmummy]

Hello this is my first post

after 3 months of my baby being in the LA foster care I'm being forced to go into a mother and baby placement in either kent,Sussex,littlehampton or Essex (gets decided Monday where I go) it's a max of 6 weeks because of the court timetable now I am petrified of going I only found out yesterday and I'm just full of fear I get my baby which is amazing but everything else scares me especially my partner for some reasons even tho we are very happy and fine I'm convinced when I go he will leave me I have no idea why I'm just freaking out having anxiety attacks about everything! Has anyone got exp of these placements?

Also my baby is only in foster care due to social services fears of my mental health (depression) I've been fighting since 2 days after her birth and passed all their assessments (yet they are forcing me to re-take the mental health one again as they don't think it's right)

Thank you
From one scared and upset mummy

[Callxmexmummy]

Also before anyone says I'm over the moon to be placed with my baby I can't wait for that it will be amazing!

I'm just fearing being away from everyone and everything I know, my partner leaving me, the foster careers not liking me and that 6 weeks is a long time to feel so alone and isolated! :( plus I'm scared of "failing" :(

[edamsavestheday]

It does sound like a very scary situation and I'm not surprised you are anxious. But it's great that you will be with your baby.

Everyone always says the best thing you can do with social services is cooperate even if they are making you jump through hoops.

Good luck!

[NotSuchASmugMarriedNow]

If your partner leaves you at the very time you need his full support then he's not worth having anyway.

You won't be alone and isolated you will have lots of help and the foster family will be specifically trained to deal with cases like yours.

I hope everything goes well for you. Try to make the most of the time you have all this support available for you and enjoy your baby!

[thornrose]

I'm a bit worried you won't get many replies in Legal Matters. Could you post it in Chat or Relationships instead. You'd get lots of great advice there.

[DarkKnight123]

Hi...I wanted to give some advice but ought to mention im a social worker and so write from a particular perspective. The advice im going to give will sound harsh, apologies in advance. The purpose of the mother and baby placement is to provide you with on the spot advice and support, allow the mother/baby attachment to flourish and to protect your child from harm. Regular feedback from the placement will feed into the decision making process regarding your child's future.
You need to shut off from all other distractions and just focus on your son. You need to get on with the foster carer and learn from her. Your son needs 100% of your attention. In your shoes I would disconnect from all people in your life, including your ptr, that may distract you from that task. This is your chance, perhaps the only one, to be the parent your child needs.

[IAmNotAPrincessIAmAKaleesi]

I know this is a little simplistic, but perhaps you could view the six weeks as a 'babymoon', using the time to learn and bond with your baby- lots of skin to skin, baths together, singing etc

When my dc were born I tried to have a period of time when they were tiny where we just got to know each other and I learned all their little signals and quirks and they learned my smell and my voice and the way I held them. Few visitors, few distractions just resting together and falling in love

This could be an amazing oppertunity for you, and I understand why you are nervous but if you go into it fully committed and enthusiastic it might just be the best thing that's happened to you

[SanityClause]

You can ask for the thread to be moved, if you want, Call. Just report it, by clicking on "Report", then ask MNHQ to move it.

I am sure that you can make it work with your little one. Remember, people are trying to do what is best fo him, which I'm sure that's what you want, too. So, work with them, and they will see what a great mother you are.

There are lots of posters on MN who had babies at a young age, and often they are the most sensible and sorted of all of us!

[SavoyCabbage]

My mum does mother and baby fostering for teens. It's the teen she is fostering rather than the baby if you see what I mean. She wouldn't be saying "time to feed the baby" or to take the baby over (for want of a better phrase).

I think she sees her role in it as a sort of steadiness.

[BookFairy]

Call you must be feeling all emotions right now. The most important thing to remember and focus on is that you will be with your child. Everything else must come second place. Wishing you all the best :)

[Pooka]

Just look on it as precious time with your baby, as previous poster said, away from ALL distractions.

I agree with what has been said - if your partner leaves you during this short but incredibly important time, then he is not a good partner. Your baby is more important than anything else now and forever.

I hope that it all goes well and proves to be a positive experience for you both.