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Grandparents Rights - court proceedings

(55 Posts)
luckz666 Mon 11-Nov-13 07:20:03

Me and my fiance have a 18 month old son and have just received court proceedings from his mum (our sons grandmother) for a defined contact order.we have not spoken to her in 12 years as she caused a lot of trouble in the early part of our relationship.when we had our son she then pushed letters through my parents door where i lived demanding she saw him.i am not entitled to legal aid and cant afford a solicitor so will be representing ourselves in court.Any ideas what to expect or what to do! Im am terrified!

betterthanever Thu 14-Nov-13 22:04:25

What you discuss OP will be put in what they call a schedule 2 which is a sort of report which will go to the court and remain in the file for this case so your telephone interview is very important.
You must tell the truth of the situation and be child focused. It doesn't matter what you may want it is what you think is best for DC.
Karma has given you very good advice.

IneedAsockamnesty Sat 16-Nov-13 01:20:17


I'm rather surprised that you have advised the op to go to mediation with a view to offering some form of direct contact.

Are you unaware that with regard to gp's who have had no contact at all giving them a starting point of some contact could actually give them an ability to have one of the grounds the court would require of them to make a contact order should the arrangement break down and they do end up in court.

A gp who has never had contact is highly unlikely to be awarded any,one who has had routine and regular contact (in the absence of abuse to the dc) is more likely to have it court ordered should the arrangement break down.

luckz666 Sun 17-Nov-13 06:55:48

Do i have to advise cafcass of my partners history with his mum being as thats why we dont talk to her. It just feel its strange saying that its in my sons best interest if they dont know the reasons why?
Im so confused and sorry for going on its just i dont want to get this wrong!

betterthanever Sun 17-Nov-13 11:00:54

I don't think you have to go into that much detail at this stage OP. Explaining that your partner has not had contact with his mum for x years should be enough but they will ask you the questions they feel are relevent. Must be hard on you all.

karmakameleon Mon 18-Nov-13 08:38:54

I personally told CAFCASS everything as they need to write a report to the court to recommend next steps. You don't need to if you don't want but I didn't feel like they could make a meaningful recommendation without all the facts. They did however choose to ignore all the background and thought mediation with a view to direct contact would be appropriate, even when our barrister pointed out what sock does above, which is that we had no need to offer direct contact and it would probably work against us in the long run.

When is your court date? Happy for you to PM if you need support/someone to chat to.

eurochick Mon 18-Nov-13 08:52:52

I'd say the way she treated your partner is material to why you don't want her in your son's life, so I would have thought it would be a good idea to disclose this.

Before the call I would suggest writing down all the points you want to get across (bullet point reminders).

The key thing is that this is about your child's rights, not hers. Is it in your son's best interests to have a relationship with this person? You need to keep this in mind throughout.

luckz666 Mon 18-Nov-13 12:36:57

Thanks again karma! I dont mind telling them everything as i would rather they know. We are attending on 27th and its really taking its toll! I am stressing so much I could cry as think about it.
I have wrote everything down to ensure i dont forget anything.
Thanks for all your advise!

luckz666 Fri 22-Nov-13 07:56:08

Had a letter yesterday from cafcass saying that the court date has been rearranged as the time scale to complete paperwork is too short.
they are calling me on 10th december and court date is tbc.

luckz666 Mon 02-Dec-13 11:26:47

I am absolutely dreading the phone call with Cafcass tomorrow! I am just worried that i will forget everything i need to say! sad

karmakameleon Wed 04-Dec-13 12:18:22

How did the call from Cafcass go yesterday? Hope it was ok.

luckz666 Wed 04-Dec-13 19:30:14

The woman was nice but didnt seem very interested. She just asked if we opposed the application which we do and some safeguarding questions like is there domestic violence etc.
she said next week we have to present case to judge and go from there.

plentyofsoap Thu 05-Dec-13 10:22:19

It must be be very stressful for you. I had this off my mother about five years ago a couple of weeks after giving birth. I had no contact with her for a very long time and never will. We just ignored her in the end she has no rights. I would no be surprised if she tried again though. Your dh stopped contact for a very good reason I'm sure. My dh has never met her so how could he judge her to be a positive influence? I would not allow any contact at all and stick with that decision.

luckz666 Fri 06-Dec-13 07:26:41

Yes we are both sure that we do not want her to have any contact. Were just dreading court

plentyofsoap Fri 06-Dec-13 08:00:00

I am not surprised. Just the thought of my mother having contact made me feel sick. If you object totally I really cannot see how they can force contact. She is not a parent and has no established relationship. I looked into alot when it happened to me and I think the threat of court was a way of them getting me to come to an agreement. They are not going to sent you to prision for refusing!
My mother has mh issues which are very serious along with a history of domestic abuse both physical and emotional. No court would allow contact at the risk of a child coming to harm especially if the parents informed them of this. Did your partner experience this?

luckz666 Fri 06-Dec-13 08:48:32

She had already interfered with a previous relationship of his and ruined it and also as a child she used to have so many men round the house. He got bullied at school because of this and therefore almost got expelled.
she tried to split us up when we got together but fortunatly we were stronger and it didnt work. We cut all ties.
My other half doesnt even call her mum and gets emotionally upset just thinking of what could happen.

plentyofsoap Fri 06-Dec-13 09:45:34

Given that she should not have contact as it is emotionally distressing for him, as it was for me. I think they do it for control and not in the interest of the child. Can she actually afford to take it to court?

luckz666 Fri 06-Dec-13 11:01:18

Yes,she sold her house a few years back and retired so has her pension. I really think she is doing it because she wants to get back into my other halfs life and cause trouble also because we told her no!
We will do everything we have to and if it means moving away we have considered that too.

plentyofsoap Fri 06-Dec-13 11:07:55

I can understand that feeling. She may back down when she realises the huge cost. We have since moved house and its good to know she doesnt know where we are. She contacted my work a few times to let me know she is dying (she has been for years) and got her friend to write to me. Ignore everything. Are other family members around?

luckz666 Fri 06-Dec-13 17:39:39

Yes we have a very strong relationship with other members of the families mine and his but just not her. I doubt she will back down even though I wish she would

HappyCliffmas Sun 08-Dec-13 21:09:03

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

happymummy00 Thu 02-Jan-14 22:06:03

Luckz666 i just wondered how you are getting on with this as i am going through something similar x

luckz666 Sun 09-Feb-14 10:05:20

After attending court the decision was made to allow her to make an application to the court for contact,even though the cafcass report stated it may cause emotional upset to our sin which we are shocked by.
Since then she has been telling people that she has won the case and has contact in a centre every 6 weeks.
Is there anything we can do to stop her from telling rubbish?
Cafcass now have to complete a section 7 report.
What is this?

prh47bridge Sun 09-Feb-14 10:42:40

She will look pretty silly if she does not get contact. I suspect she thinks that having won the right to apply for contact means she will automatically get it. She is wrong.

A section 7 report is a detailed report about your children's welfare.

roadwalker Sun 09-Feb-14 10:52:22

She sounds terrible
I cannot imagine any court granting contact as it would not be in your DS's interest
How stressful for you. She sounds like she wants to control you all

luckz666 Sun 09-Feb-14 11:26:54

She goes to the local social club we have used for years and so so my parents. She sits there and cries for attention so people feel sorry for her,yet when we arnt there shes dancing and laughing. Its all so false and shes making out were the bad ones.
Im concerned that shes lying like thus as its not right!
What does the section 7 report include,whats the process?

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