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Ex threatening Court Action Unless i Agree to His Maintenance Offer

(80 Posts)
Joy5 Fri 04-Oct-13 11:55:40


Been trying to sort the finances out for the past 12 months with my ex (we divorced at the beginning of this year), i made an offer two weeks ago asking for spousal and child maintenace until our youngest leaves FT education in six years. I'm back at university now, and hopeful of getting a much better paid job in two years time, then i can try and improve my credit rating so i'll be able to take on a mortgage on a family size home myself.

My ex is saying (his solicitor has spoken to mine this morning) unless i agree to him ending maintenace when our youngest is 18 is will file court papers next week.

Has anyone been in this position, and braved it out? Did your ex actually file court papers, or did they threaten too but then come to an agreement before doing it?

Really don't know what to do about this, am on a low income and can't afford the legale fees for a court case, but if i agree to my ex's offer, we'll be selling the family home in 3 years time, and trying to rent with my bad credit rating.

Hoping someone whose been in this position can give me some advice.

WithConfidence Wed 09-Oct-13 22:38:39

Joy I don't have any legal advice, I just wanted to say sorry for your loss and that it sounds like you are doing a good job trying to look after and plan for your children.

HerRoyalNotness Wed 09-Oct-13 23:11:31

While i understand your predicament, does your H only earn 40kish? How can he support two households and pay your mortgage on that?

Was the loan beneficial to both of you? If so, you should be repaying half of it.

I take it you are in a university town, can you rent out an extra room to a student to help pay your bills/debts?

I see you are trying to get yourself in a better financial position, full credit to you, but i think you are pushing too much financial responsibility on to your H and expecting for the status quo in living to remain at his expense. This isn't practical. However it turns out, I wish you luck

allnewtaketwo Thu 10-Oct-13 06:54:24

I think the OP has wildly unrealistic expectations about how far her exes 40k+ salary will stretch. He's paying her whole mortgage, paying off a loan they BOTH decided to take out, despite the OP not working ( why on earth would someone without a job sign a credit agreement on top of a large mortgage when they have no equity?). He's also now being expected to pay child maintenance for an adult and spousal maintenance. OP regardless of the outcome of the court case I think you really need to educate yourself financially. One salary can only go so far. You were advised last year to take in a lodger but clearly think you shouldn't. Your ex clearly can't afford the mortgage as he has defaulted several times. Despite him wanting to sell when your youngest turns 18, you have no interest in doing this, despite a lot of people having advised you that this is the norm. It's really sounding like you're determined to dig your heels in and punish him.

Khaleese Thu 10-Oct-13 07:20:10

OP I don't think you can expect him to pay for it all. 40k is not a lot of money at all.

I think you should get spousal support from him ( maybe for life) and child support until 18.

Sadly I think your on your own after that. it's not his concern how you pay your rent\mortgage after that.

The loans ( mortgage + loan) were taken out jointly, you knew the risks. You still have to pay your share. You need to set up payment plans for these. ( £1 a month if neccessary)

Sorry for you, it's a shitty situation.

STIDW Fri 11-Oct-13 17:37:56

I agree, the probability of the courts ordering someone to pay SM is low when the payer is on an income of £40k, they have their own living costs to meet and there are debts to pay. SM doesn't depend just on the needs of one party, but the amount of disposable income and the ability to pay of the other.

However every case is treated individually depending on the particular facts. It isn't at all outside the realms of possibility for the courts to grant SM when the payer's income is less than £40k. The only binding opinion is that of a judge at a final hearing. I've certainly seen cases where people have been badly advised on the internet by barrack room lawyers that they stand no chance of SM when the outcome has been the court has disagreed and awarded SM.

I'm not a lawyer, but the best person to advise about probabilities of a successful SM application is a solicitor who hasn't only studied law but also done years of training and then completes further training year in, year out, and works with the local courts on a day-to-day basis.

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