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Father in law taking my husband to court for visitation??

(34 Posts)
xxnpoxxx Wed 25-Sep-13 17:59:41

Me and my husband live together with children. I have a 3 and half year old and a 6 month old. We advised my father in law on 30/08 that he was not allowed to flit in and out of childrens lives anymore and could not take them the park for a few hours then on the 02/09 he applied through courts for access. There are numerous reasons as to why we have denied access (he constantly sent suicide threats, was telling my daughter she was his favourite and the unborn baby at that time would not be, kept telling her he was the favourite grandparent and when baby come she could go live with him, disappeared with her on an occasion, used her in his bitter divorce telling her to not live the grandmother and say things to her) these are just a few of the numerous things he has done. The fact that we only said no on the Friday 30/08 and he went to the court in person on the monday shows how little he has tried to work things through with us and how little he thinks of the children.
Has anyone been to court before over this? what is general outcome and what do they see as him having played an important role in their lives? as one is only 6 months?
Also on a legal note he has only made the application in my husbands name, no one will speak to me their mother about this, if I want my name putting on the application so I can attend the court hearing I have to prove im their mom in writing????????? which isn't enough time for the hearing on the 16/10.
So in short I am not even allowed in the court room?? how can this be? I am really confused as to what needs to be done. Any help appreciated

Collaborate Tue 01-Oct-13 20:37:06

They won't appoint a Cafcass officer at this stage. It is just a procedural thing when the run the safeguarding checks.
Cafcass should be able to confirm the court and contact details for you.

xxnpoxxx Tue 01-Oct-13 18:28:53

They have done no checks yet as haven't appointed an officer or spoken to hubby in relation to it that's why I'm confused and we don't even have speeding tickets let alone criminal records so I know we are find with that. Ill message you, and give you the 2 addresses we have been given. Your help is appreciated thanks.

fuckwittery Tue 01-Oct-13 18:24:45

If you pm me the name of the city I'll try and find an email address for you, so you can email the court with the date of the hearing in the subject to say no papers received, only cafcass letter, and you dont know where to go etc and hopefully it will get dealt with more urgently. There is hopefully only one family court building in your city unless you live in London.... you might also be able to find a number for the court listings dept who may be more helpful as to the when and where.
I womder if it is being reviewed because the cafcass risk investigation has highlighted something in advance of the hearing... The judge wont make any substantive order though without you being properly notified so please dont worry.

xxnpoxxx Tue 01-Oct-13 18:21:38

Sorry to post again it says the court number 0300 etc but when you ring (I have twice) they state they are not actually the court and there is no possible way you can call then it has to be written/emailed and there is currently a 4week backlog.

xxnpoxxx Tue 01-Oct-13 18:18:04

Cafcass gave us the number to call, they have put the date on the letter they sent us with no name of who applied/time etc. the solicitor was quite appalled at what we received. We rang cafcass who said they haven't appointed an officer yet to discuss with us and that's all the information they had just the date and city it's based in ( dont want to give too much in case they locate thread) , we then rang that number who said it is in the city centre but there are several buildings, so then when we have rang the court to confirm everything when we realised yesterday after speaking to a solicitor that we had not been served and wouldn't be receiving the details in post as advised by cafcass they then said its no longer a definate date/time as it us under review by a judge? Hence all our confusion ( and me probably confusing everyone reading) and what happens from here if papers aren't being passed to us.

xxnpoxxx Tue 01-Oct-13 18:11:08

Thanks I've looked there but it is saying the same number which they are claiming they are a contact centre and anything with family court has to be in writing. I was really apprehensive about agreeing it as to me I'm saying I agree with him applying which I clearly don't and i havent even received the application so we are definately going to oppose it still and look for a new solicitor. We know the date but not time and address I think ill go down the route of call the day before as the court contact centre said it is being reviewed by the judge so they now cannot be definate as it all might change : / stressful but will update everyone in 2weeks and more than likely be asking more advise as they are useless at the minute hope they are more helpful on the day.

fuckwittery Tue 01-Oct-13 18:06:27

Hold on a minute, just seen you dont know where or when the hearing is in your latest post, but earlier up thread you said the date was 16/10 and how could you ring the court if you dont know what court it is at? Did you ring cafcass on the number on the letter you received? Do you have the court name or not? Just trying to work out if it is possible for you to turn up on the day or not.

fuckwittery Tue 01-Oct-13 18:03:00

Which court is the case being heard in; you should be able to get a telephone number here.
Sometimes cafcass get the papers before the respondents (the persons named on the application). Either way, don't worry, if you have the date, time and place of the hearing, just turn up on the day. Explain you haven't received any papers and the case will probably be adjourned, and the judge really should add you as a respondent as the grandfather has not followed court procedure rules that say you should be a named respondent.

Cafcass will have been notified of the application by the court, and is carrying out safeguarding checks to see if there are any criminal convictions for any of the parties, and will carry out a telephone risk assessment with the named parties.

I'm not sure I agree with the advice to agree the permission stage of the application but probably mot my place to say so here..... It may be granted, but that doesnt mean you shouldnt oppose it.

xxnpoxxx Tue 01-Oct-13 17:03:57

They said there's no officer appointed to it yet, they give us the date and said we would receive papers. We didn't know we had to be served with court papers and my fil has them. We rang the court to make them aware of this and that's when they said its being reviewed by a judge so we are panicking : 0 but still no details of court it's at or time or the application hes actually made and his reasons and when we ring the so called court they just claim they are a contact centre and we need to write to the actual court who have a 4 week backlog when it's in 2weeks. Just feels like we're going round in circles and solicitor said to approve the application but not contest it and then oppose access as apparently they always get permission from a judge? It all sounds so bizarre and really out of my depth : (

xxnpoxxx Tue 01-Oct-13 16:57:13

I'm sorry I don't even know what a schedule 2 letter is, cafcass won't speak to me as he didn't name me on the app but hubby rang them and

betterthanever Tue 01-Oct-13 16:47:47

So you or your DH have spoken to cafcass? I was going advice that you did that. Are they putting a schedule 2 letter together before the court date?
It seems strange that you can't speak to a court clerk at the court your first hearing is scheduled at - it will be a court clerk who process the application when it comes in as far as I am aware. Each court normally had set days for family hearings, I would ring them on the same day as your hearing is due i.e. if you are going there on a Monday ring them on a Monday.
How do you know the judge is reviewing the case?
Sounds very stressful.

xxnpoxxx Tue 01-Oct-13 16:28:46

Cafcass have the application but state I am not mentioned in it. I have just rang the court (its in UK) and its just a contact centre who said I have to write a letter (and there is a 4 week backlog) and they do not have a copy of the application themselves, there is no direct number to the court. So if we do not receive the copy in time and do not attend ( as dont know full details) the case could go ahead without us there??? Also apparently the judge is reviewing the case so the date is in question now?? I am completely baffled and amazed by this whole situation and cant believe I have had more help on these sites than the courts are willing to do. If its not stressful enough the court dont seem to want to help in anyway and just say we will send the application or give you details : (

fuckwittery Tue 01-Oct-13 14:40:15

Your husband should ring the court and ask for a copy of the application and notice of hearing, explain he has only been notified by cafcass. Really, just turn up and ask to be added by the judge, you should have been named, you shouldn't need to make your own application and pay when the grandfather has wrongly not named you, and you should automatically be a party. Your husband could make an oral application in front of the judge if necessary. But perhaps you might have been named if you haven't seen the application yet. Bring birth cert and ID with you.

xxnpoxxx Tue 01-Oct-13 14:31:37

More help needed???? seen solicitor and advised the cafcass letter I have is not the court papers? Apparently my husband should have been served with letters from the court? with details of the application. And also that I have to fill in a c2 form and pay £215 to be added to the proceedings? Anyone else experienced not being served and what happens. Im really worried about what my husband will be walking into now.

xxnpoxxx Sun 29-Sep-13 20:55:24

That's great thank you : ) seeing solicitor tomorrow for a free half hour : ) I will definately show up on the day as you said go not want to delay this whole nasty situation any further. Will keep everyone posted on what happens incase anyone finds themselves in this situation. Thanks for all support and advice given x

fuckwittery Sat 28-Sep-13 01:02:46

Just turn up on the day, the judge will make you a party to the proceedings, on the day, because as Collaborate says, under the Family Procedure Rules you should be a party. The court staff are not legally trained by the way and shouldn't really be advising you. If you wanted to delay further you could not turn up I suppose and the judge would have to adjourn for you to be served with the papers, but presumably you've seen them as your husband has them, and best to get on and deal with the stress I would say.

A grandparent needs leave to make an application, i.e. there is an extra hurdle before the judge will consider the merits of contact. You have the opportunity to say why this should not be granted. Ask for time to file a statement, focus on the stress that he causes you, the limited contact he has had with the children so far, and the reasons you stopped contact. There is no automatic right for a grandparent to have contact; it is uncommon if the parents/main carers oppose it unless there is a real benefit to be had for the children, and substantial caring involvement in the past.

The judge might suggest mediation, have a think about whether you would be willing.

mistlethrush Thu 26-Sep-13 09:51:06

Make sure you have all of that information readily available in several copies though - really doesn't hurt.

xxnpoxxx Thu 26-Sep-13 09:40:53

He hasn't sent any emails but a lot of txt messages that we have kept as proof, he's only seen them about 8 x max this year so shouldn't be to hard to work out but the things he's had the Lo saying I can't prove as they won't speak to her as she is so young I'm hoping it won't get that far though when they see he hasn't even bothered putting me on application

mistlethrush Thu 26-Sep-13 09:16:21

I hope you're putting together as much evidence as you can on all the things you have said? Do you have any written evidence - emails etc? Can you work out a list of dates he's seen them?

xxnpoxxx Thu 26-Sep-13 09:06:36

Will update everyone

MissBattleaxe Thu 26-Sep-13 08:09:31

I hope the FIL's application gets chucked out once they realise that your children are enjoying a stable upbringing. I wouldn't let anyone have my six month old. I am sure the courts will dismiss it, although I've been surprised at how far this application has got!

If he's threatening susicide and filling their heads with crap, then I'd only be offering visits in my presence too OP. Stand your ground and keep us posted.

xxnpoxxx Thu 26-Sep-13 07:37:18

Yes it proves I'm the parent but they want it in writing as apparently they can't just add a participant on the day (paperwork legalities) etc basically the fil has filled it in wrong as he hasnt got a solicitor and made a rash decision (thats how much he thought about doing an application) and the court are assuming my husband is the sole carer they will find out on the day he is not. I just wanted to know if anyone had experienced this before it seems like a huge waste of time especially when ive rang and told them (cafcass will have to start all over again aswel) but I'm just assuming it will either get declined on the day due to the frivolous nature of it/get adjourned until im a party to proceedings or maybe that's me just hoping.

Sittingbull Thu 26-Sep-13 01:57:32

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Collaborate Thu 26-Sep-13 01:19:39

The family procedure rules make it clear that all parents should be Respondent to such an application.

lostdad Wed 25-Sep-13 22:05:50

Grandparents are able to make Section 8 Applications (Contact, Residence) so long as they have the leave of the court to do so.

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