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Legal definition of Child 'Abduction' needed please

(6 Posts)
CardboardCutout Thu 27-Jun-13 10:45:18

(Under Scottish Law)

In an emotionally abusive marriage, having only very recently emerged from the F.O.G, and now reflecting back and trying to make sense of events where I was told You're making a fuss over nothing.

Have been NC with M I L for two years after repeated personal slurs and (to me) unacceptable emotionally abusive behaviour towards one of our DCs - this had the knock-on effect with other ALL relatives of my H siding with her and I therefore have had no contact with H's siblings/other family members either.

After several incidents where I, and another unrelated individual, and finally my H, witnessed the emotional abuse of one of our DCs by M I L (I have posted on other threads regarding this under a different name - please don't out me if this sounds familiar) I asked that H didn't leave DCs with M I L alone. He agreed (to my face, but refuted this later when in the presence of his relative and myself sad ).

Ok...

H works away for long periods of time so was not present/contactable to give his 'permission' when a relative of his (with whom I did have on-going and very close relationship with) offered to look after the favoured one of our DCs for the day. I agreed to this at face-value.

I now know that M I L and H's relative contacted each other before this 'offer' was made and planned the following, but at the time I was wholly unaware of their intentions. I would not have agreed to contact between DC(s) and H's sibling under these circumstances had I been asked.

H's relative and M I L's sole objective was for DC to spend the day with H's sibling. My H's sibling groomed and sexually abused him as a pre-pubescent child (one of the reasons our marriage is emotionally and sexually abusive?). My H's relative (but not my M I L) was fully aware of the historical sexual abuse between the siblings. There was also a previous issue where my H and his relative did not protect a female family member (under the age of consent) from sexual harm, by peers, when (and for months afterwards) they became aware of it.

If you have got this far...thank you.

I am asking if the actions of my H's relatives constitutes 'Child Abduction' even in its widest legal sense? My fear is that when H and I separate/divorce he will follow the wishes of M I L and allow unrestricted access to our DCs by his family members who are, in turn, emotionally and, historically, sexually abusive. I need to know if what what H's relatives and my M I L did that day was (legally?) inappropriate (as opposed to my feeling then, and now believing, it was).

My very grateful thanks in advance for any advice regarding this.

STIDW Thu 27-Jun-13 15:35:59

Child abduction is when someone takes or sends a child abroad without consent from all those with Parental Rights and Responsibilities for a child or permission from the courts.

In Scotland Parental Rights and Responsibility means both parents have the same rights and responsibilities. They may act unilaterally and delegate child care to someone else. IF there is a dispute either party may apply to court for an order to regulate PRR so when there is evidence of children suffering harm or being at risk from harm the courts can prohibit a child being left in some else's care.

CardboardCutout Thu 27-Jun-13 17:55:49

STIDW Thank you very much for your reply.

H and I are married so have equal PRR's. H has relatives in N.I, Wales, and England - presumably not classed as 'abroad' but have differences in Law, and if H removed DCs to any of these places there would be little difficulty in my having them returned to their normal place of residence (Scotland)? (I realise I was about as clear as mud regarding this in my OP)

The second part of my question related to the actions of H's relatives colluding to remove the DCs from my care under what I would term 'false pretences'. I was not informed or made aware of this collusion and planning and am disgusted that this took place for the sole purpose of allowing H's sibling to have access to DCs. My M I L and H's relative were fully cognisant of the fact I would not have given permission for H's sibling to have this contact with DCs when they chose this course of action. Was there an actual offence committed in this case (Plagium?)?

I ask this as I will likely have to contest, in the event of separation/divorce, H's likely wish for DCs to have contact with these relatives and my fear is that DCs will be at possible risk of harm due to H's family's (incomprehensible) attitude to emotional and sexual abuse.

Would I be able to relate the event described above as evidence of their lack of care and concern? Our DCs have had no contact with these relatives for several months (apart from the incident above) and while they have made no attempt through me to seek contact with DCs, H is under pressure from them to restart it - and he is likely to succumb to this pressure at some point (and definitely when we separate/divorce).

H has lied to his relatives previously and stated that I had banned all contact - I did not, but requested that H was always present if it did take place. After incident above I now do not want them to have any contact).

Again, my grateful thanks in advance for any thoughts/advice.

RedHelenB Thu 27-Jun-13 19:43:18

Forget the child abduction side & concentrate on what you can do to keep your children safe which is to make sure there is a court order stating that your children are never to be alone with adults with a history of sexual abuse when in the care of you or your stbx.

CardboardCutout Thu 27-Jun-13 20:38:22

RedHelenB Great advice about a court order, thank you.

An order stating NO contact at all with the abusive adult would be ideal as I would not trust H or his family to ensure that DCs were safe, because they have wilfully ignored my concerns and believe they are justified in doing whatever they damn well please (as their actions above demonstrate).

Thank you for responding.

CardboardCutout Tue 14-Jul-15 07:22:49

Op here - back again as all of the above, and more, is unfortunately still relevant.

There is now a Court Order in place (sought by STBXH - he has the money to pay for such things), which allows DC to have contact with some members of STBXH's family - but not his abuser, although Ex lied in court and denied abuse - he thought at that time that there was no 'proof' of this but has since been put straight and life was a bit calmer for a while.

Ex intends to take DC on holiday. I agreed his requested dates of this due to court order stating 'half of holidays'. Ex, as usual, drip-fed info about this holiday via DCs (too manipulative/cowardly to be upfront and inform me like an adult). It appears that Ex intends to take DCs to England for this holiday, approximately 1 hour driving distance from abusive relative.

My concerns are that while Ex is clearly 'pushing buttons' regarding his choice of holiday location - I find it very hard to believe that he will not see abusive relative and allow them access to DCs when they are so geographically close - his thinking will be that the court order is legally void and unenforceable as he is will not be in the 'country' where the order was made (and will also depend on a 'I didn't know' defence if this goes back to court).

Is there anything I can do? I have no legal support as Ex ran through all my funds with his lawyer's letters and court proceedings.

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