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Separating DH stashing money away - panicking help

(6 Posts)
kimtwin Sat 15-Jun-13 00:04:08

Lived separated in same house for 10 months (20 years married) 4children, 2 at school, 1 at uni, 1 working. Financial arrangements same as always, all wages paid into joint account - which is always overdrawn. No separate money

Both of us work fulltime. He redundant with payout at end of month. 6 month contract to go straight onto. This is most likely going to pay more than his last job as is self employed contract. He currently earns a third more than me but will not disclose new earnings.

Last week in a row he said he would open own bank account pay in what he has decided is half outgoings of house and I can go whistle for any more.

Yesterday I find evidence of 1000 pound transfered from his savings account that I knew nothing about into a current account. I guess new increased wage and redundancy pay will also be going in there.

I have a 20 grand endowment due in Oct. He told me halfis his due and if iI withhold he won't pay anything until he's had his due.

I will have no money and an overdraft of 1400 if he sticks to this. My salary will be all taken up on direct debits etc.

In such a panic and a state tried to speak to solicitors today nothing helpful and all want fees upfront for advice beyond 30 minute info gathering. As I've said money now not at my disposal -whilst he's cracking up a good pot toward getting legal advice for himself. And I've gotta live with him. He now says going no where I have to go ifit ddoesn't suit me

Please help

Lonecatwithkitten Sat 15-Jun-13 04:06:08

From the advise I received standard starting point is everything is split 50:50 so the debts and all the money.
So if he is due 50% of your endowment you are due 50% of his redundancy and to pay 50% of joint account debt.
At financial consent order financial disclosure is required, now there are ways to be awkward about this, but you already have information about this savings account so this is a good start. Plus if he is moving out he will need to pay maintenance for kids in full time education.
I have paid my solicitor monthly in arrears and they accept credit card payments. Could you take out 0% credit card to enable this? Not ideal, but may help. They have not asked for any money up front.

RedHelenB Sat 15-Jun-13 09:19:50

Those amounts of money are soon swallowed up with legal fees. Tell him he can go whistle & sort your debts out with the endowment in October. Then you can both start with a clean slate. Oh & you need to contact CSA to get maintenance for the children who are under 18 if you are the primary carer, if he won't give you a minimum of 20% of his net wage.

kimtwin Sat 15-Jun-13 16:03:43

Thanks for the advice. Helps to calm the waters a bit. Still wobbling. He's realised I know and is now trying to be nice to me. Says he only did it to protect our family as his contract is only 6 months wanted to make sure WE have some money if he's out of work. What a great guy??!?!

kimtwin Sat 15-Jun-13 18:06:04

Thanks for the advice. Helps to calm the waters a bit. Still wobbling. He's realised I know and is now trying to be nice to me. Says he only did it to protect our family as his contract is only 6 months wanted to make sure WE have some money if he's out of work. What a great guy??!?!

babybarrister Sun 16-Jun-13 19:46:51

You need proper legal advice - find a solicitor who will defer payment - many will if there is going to be cash around - which there clearly is in the endowment

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