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in direct contact and 15 month old!

(7 Posts)
Alexasmummy12 Sun 19-May-13 06:59:57

Hiya I'm currently going through court about my ex having contact with my lg, he's never seen her (my choice due to violence, drinking, mental health problems, controlling and severe emotional abuse) wev been at court a year now he's had no commitment and even missed the last court date and has proved to still be drinking heavily. the court physiologist that assessed his health has proposed in direct contact for 9-12 months at least. How would this work? my lg is only 15 months so wouldn't understand and it wouldn't help in her getting to know him. Thankyou. He's a horrible person amd the thought of him even looking at my baby makes me feel physically sick sad. x

mumblechum1 Sun 19-May-13 20:11:37

Indirect contact normally means letters, cards, photos, gifts, copies of school reports, and possibly phone contact.

Given that your daughter is only 15 months old I don't see how indirect contact could work. Are you sure the court psychologist didn't suggest supervised contact at a contact centre?

Alexasmummy12 Sun 19-May-13 20:31:04

Hiya, I dont understand either! she definitely said in direct comtact for 9 to 12 months then very gradually move to supervised contact. I dont see the point in it its confusing x

ProphetOfDoom Sun 19-May-13 20:34:57

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Alexasmummy12 Sun 19-May-13 20:55:43

I literally just thought maybe its to show commitment but that's stupid as hes proved with the court case he has no comitment and writing letters/emails is a different story than spending his precious alcohol money on traveling regular.
So surely its just prolonging and causes us all unnecessary stress!
Can I also ask opinions on his mother?
I've never had a problem with her and we were always quite friendly but I was weary when it came to my lg for obvious reasons in the end I agreed to regular contact on one condition, that she tells the court the truth about why she kicked her son out her house (violence to his younger brothers so very crucial to my case) and she refused so in my eyes she cant have my lgs best interests and tbh cant care all that much. am I being harsh or am I actually right in this?
Thankyou x

ProphetOfDoom Sun 19-May-13 21:09:42

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

kirsty75005 Mon 20-May-13 06:05:56

Are you asking for legal or emotional advice on your MIL ?

In the latter case, if you're asking her to testify against her son in order to obtain acces to her grand-daugther, I think you might be a bit harsh. Even if her son is so awful that it's best he has no contact with his daughter you can't expect a mother to be entirely lucid about how awful her son is...

If you take the whole testifying issue out of it, what would you think about contact ? You're the one who knows her. Do you think she'd try to build up a normal grandmother-granddaughter relationship ? And do you think she'd respect your wishes if you said no contact with the father ? (If the answers are yes, yes, personally I'd think about allowing contact : if yes, no, maybe contact with you around ?)

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