Xh is alcoholic, and was abusive, violence, and so on when married. I fled nearly 4yrs ago. There is a court order in place that gives him unsupervised access every other Saturday 10am to 5pm. There is also an agreement in places where he's not allowed to drive the children, or comsume alcohol for 24h prior to contact or during contact.In Nov 2012 I asked for permission to take the children to France on holiday (that's another thread in itself!) He refused, then said he'd grant permission if I let him have overnights.
I believe I would be negligent to allow the children to stay overnight with someone who has a history of violence, especially when drunk, and on one occasion towards dd1. So he's taking me to court to apply for overnights. I have tried to mediate through his solicitor, and have even suggested a court standard test to demonstrate sobriety, where I pick up the cost if it came back showing sobriety, and he pay if it showed still drinking to excess.
Last Sat, the Sat just gone, he had the children. He took them on the bus to where he lives. At 5.10 pm I texted him to ask where the children were. At 5.20 I rang, having had no reply to the text. He had his phone on loud speaker, and said they were on the bus. He refused to say where exactly, and was encouraging the children to make silly comments.
By now it was 5.25. I rang the police, and they logged it as an active case. The nice lady said she'd chat to her supervisor about what they could do, and rang off, having taken some info. XH then rang again, and said they were now in a village about 30 mins away by the bus, 15 mins by car. He then began encouraging the children to say several phrases that had been used in the past for abuse, and meant the same way now. I felt I had no choice but to hang up.
The woman from the police rang back, to let me know what her supervisor thought. When I told her about xh encouraging the dc to say stuff I was told that it changed everything, and it was now being upgraded to a current dv incident. A couple of nice officers came and supervised pick up, because he is often verbally abusive at pick up, (because he has been drinking usually, he does on every contact despite the undertaking). This time it went smoothly, the dc arrived finally at 6.10, and we went home.
My question is this (sorry for the essay!) After contact, where he has broken the order, I write to his sol stating that he had been drinking, it is very disappointing, etc etc. Now with the court date looming, do I just say the that they were late, unacceptable, or do I give the police ref, and that there is another DV log, with full details? I plan to email cafcass the police ref for their records, and a record of the incident, as I see it as another example of his emotional abuse of the children, the dd's in particular. Thing is, I need it to get before a judge so I can ask for the holiday permission.
Not taken it back to court myself, as we are too skint for the court fee, but dp's income is just over the threshold for any help. Holiday is courtesy of fil, who doesn't like going away on his own, and so pays for us to go with him.
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Legal matters
How much do I tell xh's solicitor about his latest breach of court order in the run up to him taking me to court for more access?
Readyisknitting · 15/05/2013 20:18
you would have to apply to the court thats dealing with the contact issues. yes you would have to pay the court fee when applying for the order its about £175.00. you can download all the forms from the court.
As it would be heard at the same time it would save another lot of hearings. You can also apply for the hearings to be moved closer to you as you have the children 
.
residency order is also proof to benefits agencies etc . i am supprised your ex has not applied for one, perhaps hes been advised he wouldnt get it by his solicitor!!
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