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Contact order

(12 Posts)
smiler01 Sun 12-May-13 15:34:16

Could someone clarify something for me regarding contact orders? My partner self represented himself at court so we don't have a solicitor to ask.

Does a final contact order supersede previous interim orders??

I think throughout the court hearing there was 3 interim orders issued, detailing the new contact etc each time it progressed, we then had the final hearing with final order listing the set contact arrangements initial restrictions I.e no third parties with a detailed list of dates when contact progresses, when third parties are allowed and when overnight contact starts xmas etc.
this final contact order doesn't state any silly restrictions that his ex wanted right at the beginning for example he wasn't allowed to post pictures on Facebook when he first started seeing them.

Now that third parties are allowed she is giving him a list of restrictions that I am not allowed to do with his children when they are at our house twice a week and every other weekend, one of the things im not allowed to do is put any pictures of her children on my Facebook even if its got my partner and our daughter in it too when he said that there are no restrictions to say we can't put pics on Facebook just like her and her friends do she said the first interim order still stands.

I'm not likely to put many pics on fb although mine is private but we just wanted to know where we stand please?


mumblechum1 Sun 12-May-13 20:10:56

Yes, normally the final contact order cancels out the interim orders but if in doubt he should ask the court for clarification. Simply write to the judge, copying in the other side, and ask.

smiler01 Sun 12-May-13 21:14:35

I hadn't thought about asking the court, we will write to them tomorrow
Thank you for your reply smile

mumblechum1 Sun 12-May-13 21:42:44

You're welcome. Having done hundreds of those cases, I know how easy it is for everyone to get in a muddle, as some interim orders change certain aspects of earlier ones, but leave other aspects intact.

It's a very common problem, and the DJ will eventually (don't hold your breath!) get his or her file and notes out, and respond to you and the other side.

smiler01 Sun 12-May-13 22:52:48

It is very confusing lol especially as everything that was stated in earlier interim orders are so out of date and restrictions that were in place right at the start have been broken now due to the newer orders and now final one but she's now wanting to use the very first one from 18months ago re the pics as it suits her so hope court clarify it smile

Thanks again

RedHelenB Mon 13-May-13 17:51:36

I can't see the need for you to put photos on your page - don't sweat the small stuff!

smiler01 Mon 13-May-13 20:59:23

Do you not put pictures on fb?? of family friends your child or pictures of family gatherings? We do i love to show my friends and family how my daughter is getting On etc but It's honestly not just the photos I can quite easily not do that if it keeps everyone happy, it's absolutely everything and anything, every single time he picks the children up she gives him a new set of restrictions things that are totally pathetic and tells him if he doesn't like it to take her back to court, some of the things she brings up are from right at the beginning of the court hearing over a year ago that were in the interim orders which have all been dealt with and have nothing to do with contact now but she unfortunately is the type of woman who will change the rules every week and then stop contact again because we haven't done as she wants and then lie again when it gets back to court lol

We let all the small petty things go over our heads all the time and will continue to but when she decides to kick off again in front of the kids screaming and shouting that its in the court order and if he don't like she'll stop contact and he can take her back to court, by us knowing the facts that this final order does cancel previous orders we can hopefully try to talk her down before she stops contact.

It's so difficult when ur fighting against someone like this when all he wants to do is pick kids up.

Sorry that was a long rant haha prob helped get that off my chest it's been a long 2.5 years lol

Anyway I actually just came back on to thank mumblechum1 we emailed court and they replied today so we have the info we need. Thanks again smile

mumblechum1 Mon 13-May-13 21:26:55

smile That's an unusually efficient court you've got there!

smiler01 Mon 13-May-13 21:49:44

We were shocked too but very relieved, thanks again smile

RedHelenB Tue 14-May-13 07:29:42

My child yes, but not usually their friends & definitely not if their mum wouldn't want me to!!

smiler01 Tue 14-May-13 15:56:21

What about making my step daughter a drink in my home should she want one while I'm making my daughters? I'm not allowed to do that either do I do that or not? What would you do??
same for dinner and absolutely everything else. You seem to have jumped on the Facebook picture point which is one of many, could give me some advice on the whole situation cos I could do with it!

lostdad Wed 15-May-13 14:24:48

I'm a dad in the same position as your other half smiler01.

In answer to your original question - yes. The final order supercedes all previous ones unless explicitly stating otherwise.

Forget what the ex says or does and follow the order. If she isn't happy with what your step daughter does while she is with you she should act as she sees fit including taking the matter to court (unless you are acting inappropriately in which you case you should stop doing it wink).

Don't second guess yourself and don't let the ex wind you up. The ex is going to do what she is going to do and going to say what she is going to say often without any bearing on anything as convenient as reality.

If your other half needs support of this kind (and you too for that matter) I'd recommend Families Need Fathers to you. Your post is something I see a hundred times a day on their forum (I am a member) and there is a lot of good advice for dads, mums, stepmums, whatever.

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