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Ex filed full and frank finances 2 weeks ago, said he lived on his own, found out last week he moved in with his Girlfriend

(12 Posts)
Joy5 Tue 07-May-13 21:37:32

Exchanged full and frank finances 2 weeks ago, or mine were but ex barely submitted anything, but he stated he was living in the rented house hes lived in for the past six months, then yesterday i was told he moved out and in with his gf last week.
It costs so much to speak with my solicitor, and i can't get legal aid, i want to find out as much as i can before i do, am i right to ask for his up to date full and frank finances? His gf has 3 children and works part time, i'm guessing now hes moved in shes had to give up her tax credits, and maybe lose some of her maintenance from her husband, its so hard to work out if hes got more money spare now, or he did when he lived alone. I was asked to sign that i didn't live with a partner, and i had no intention of living with one in the next six months, and hes supposed to have signed the same form, hes gone and moved in 10 days at the most after giving his solicitor his papers!
Has anyone else been in this situation and give me some help in deciding what to do next please?

Mendi Tue 07-May-13 22:24:19

If your ex is now living in a household with other children in it - even though they aren't his - then that reduces his child maintenance obligation to your children.

It will not affect his GF's ex's obligation to maintain his children.

This seems unfair but those are the rules I believe. You can get a lot of information on the CSA website.

Joy5 Tue 07-May-13 22:34:23

Is that true? He has to pay less maintenance if he lives with someone elses children? Just tried looking at he CSA website but its a bit confusing.

He leaves for another woman, and his existing family lose out financially hardly seems fair, but then nothing does in this!

Mendi Tue 07-May-13 22:38:14

Yes, it is true. Have a look at the table a little way down this page

Joy5 Tue 07-May-13 22:40:35

The mortgage is already more than hes expected to pay, i can't remortgage don't earn enough, and my credit rating is so bad i can't rent, keep being turned down.

Every time i think it can't get any worse it goes and gets worse.

Mendi Tue 07-May-13 22:41:03

You can also use this calculator to work out how much he has to pay - remember you have to enter his net weekly income, not gross.

Mendi Tue 07-May-13 23:03:38

I am sorry you're going through this. I was there myself some years ago and it is a very rude awakening indeed. In my case the house had to be sold and I moved with the DCs and as large a mortgage as I could afford, to a much smaller house a very long way away (the town we had lived in was a desirable commuter town where property was expensive).

I did think my life was over sometimes, couldn't get worse, etc. However, once the finances were sorted once and for all, even though life changed so much, I found I started to feel better. This was our new life now. This was the shape of things. Kids are very adaptable and as long as you don't look like you're falling to pieces, they'll be ok.

Are you claiming tax credits yet? If not, get your claim in because it will only be backdated 3 months. If you have no income of your own then you are entitled to a full tax credits claim regardless of how much maintenance your ex pays you. I used to get about £380 a month.

Keep posting, there is lots of help here and it does get better, it really does.

Mendi Tue 07-May-13 23:08:52

Just re-read your OP. The fact that your ex is now living with his GF will reduce her tax credits (if she tells them), but will not reduce the child maintenance she receives from her ex.

Other than the fact that your ex living with his GF's kids reduces his child maintenance obligation, his GF's financial arrangements have no bearing on your situation. So if she earned £100k and your ex earned £20k, her high earnings would not be taken into account on a CSA calculation because the view is: his children are HIS to support.

Obviously you can - and many people do - reach your own agreement whereby he pays more than a CSA assessment for your children. It all depends on how much you can communicate and how much of an arse/good guy he wants to be.

How old are your DC?

Joy5 Wed 08-May-13 08:20:05

I'm claiming tax credits, but only for my youngest son aged 14. Middle son is 19, not working or studying or claiming benefits. Hes aspargers, and had depression really bad last year, my eldest son died nearly 5 years ago suddenly, and middle son became suicidal the week he became the same aga as his brother was when he died.

Would do anything to be able to move us out of the family home, stop ex missing mortgage payments as well, but i can't re-mortgage, and i've been turned down for rented properties, soon as they do a credit check on. Was in a bad way when ex lived here, since then hes missed mortgage payments, and defaulted on a loan and other things. Everything was in joint names so it still affects my rating.

Not had any dealings with the CSA so far, mortgage is more than they would expect him to pay, and can believe if he finds out that he can pay less money then he will

Mendi Wed 08-May-13 08:39:41

I am so sorry for your loss. What a terrible time you've had over the past few years.

It sounds as though the family home may need to be sold, but you do need specialist advice. Can you try the CAB? Failing that, Mumblechum, Collaborate, Babybarrister or one of the other nice family lawyers here might be able to help. I am merely a divorced lawyer, not a divorce lawyer.

If your ex won't cover the mortgage and you can't afford it then selling the house may be the only option. Do you have much equity in it? Can you go on the council list for a house if your mortgage company starts possession proceedings?

NumTumDeDum Wed 08-May-13 08:51:19

The next stage is to file a questionnaire on the disclosure asking for missing information, clarifications and further info. Your solicitor needs to know about the girlfriend and anything else you know which you feel has been omitted from the disclosure. There is a time limit for filing a questionnaire so please do speak to your solicitor.

Joy5 Wed 08-May-13 10:23:51

Theres barely any equity in the family home, plus a large amount of debt, been on the council list for about a year, got another 15 years plus until i can get a 3 bedroom house anywhere in the city so not really an option.
Will speak to my solicitor just wand to try and know as much as possible aobut it before i do.

And don't want to bring his gf into if it means less money towards the mortgage.

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