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Guidance appreaciated

(12 Posts)
toddlema Tue 30-Apr-13 22:48:58

I have to be vague due to the expectation that this post could be used in court against me. My ex is unbelievably controlling and has the court eating out of their hand despite concerns.

The court made an order that my ex could see their daughter in a contact centre weekly. Not a problem? I agree.
Except the contact is taking place during my contracted working hours. Work have refused a request to alter them because of business needs. The judge was aware I have to work and have said 'tough'. Basically contact is what it is and if I don't take my daughter I will be breached and brought back to court immediately due to frustrating contact. My barrister did point out that I was being set up to fail but the judge repeated 'tough'.
I have never breached before and have been supportive of contact progression because this is about my child not me. I am in shock. My ex who is a blatant bully and an ass skipped out of court cheering (no exaggeration) in front of everyone.
What can I do? Do I risk being sacked or do I breach the order???

CouthySaysEatChoccyEggs Tue 30-Apr-13 23:15:55

IMO, as a lay person, I would risk being sacked above risking breaching the court order. If your employer sacks you, you would have a good case for tribunal, I'm sure.

IMO, it would be easier to get a new job than to win residence if your DC back...

canyou Wed 01-May-13 08:42:45

Can some one take and collect your DC? We have applied for a judicial review as the latest contact order would cause undue hardship, even DP's ex agrees but we are following the under as it is too serious if we ignore or dismiss it. DP is military would risk losing his job if he breaches it

kittycat68 Wed 01-May-13 09:22:30

what does your solicitor say can you appeal the descion.

titchy Wed 01-May-13 09:50:14

Don't breach the order. Get a family member or childminder to take child to contact centre.

mumblechum1 Wed 01-May-13 12:22:12

Agree, you'll have to make arrangements for someone else to take your child to the CC.

mumblechum1 Wed 01-May-13 12:22:53

How old is your child?

flowery Wed 01-May-13 12:26:13

Judge sounds most unhelpful.

Who would normally be looking after your daughter while you are at work? Can't they take her?

iheartdusty Wed 01-May-13 19:39:10

are there no other contact centres locally, or can't the existing one offer you another time?

why and how did it get set up for your work time?

toddlema Thu 02-May-13 08:11:57

Because my ex said weekdays were better for my toddler daughter and his work. Great for him and he likes to find any reason to show I'm hindering contact even if he has to create one.
I'm going to present my contract and work policy rules to the court next time and have a chat with the contact centre. Surely ultimately it's up to them and my daughter and I must be guided by them.

kittycat68 Thu 02-May-13 09:47:00

TBH some judges are C**P! they dont see the welfare of the child or the RP side at all. Its all about giving the NRP whatever they want. Mothers are often classed as second class citizens at court. Its a mans world we live in. Although on a posistive note there are some good judges out there. Op see if you can get a letter from your employer, it may carry more weight at court. You need to counter attack next time by offering more contact than he wants on a day that he dosent want! let him turn down the contact, rather than making it seem that you are being obsructive.

CinnabarRed Thu 02-May-13 09:49:57

Why can't your child's usual carer take her? (The one who must be looking after her while you work.)

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