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Taking child without mothers permission

(3 Posts)
lisamar Tue 30-Apr-13 13:06:27

I have recently split from my partener, who was physically and mentally abusive towards me also has mental issues hes not mentally stable cant even remember being violent and is getting help for this (he sounds like a dream dont he) so I have left and moved to London he has never been charged for violence as I have only reported one incident. I have not really spoke to him or his family but he has told me he wants to take the kids over the weekend and drop them off on monday. This in my eyes would normally be fine and would not have a problem with this, but I am worried (because of his state of mind) that 1. He might not bring them back or 2. He might do something to the children (that sounds horrible but I never thought he would hit me and did so cant really blame me for thinking that).

So what I am asking is what if he takes them and just doesnt bring them back can he do that? (We have not been to court over this so have nothing legally binding to say they should live with me)

How would I go about taking him to court so I am the parent they live with legally (I have to do this as there is no talking to him like a human about it all) and how expensive is it?

He has no job nowhere to live has a criminal record and history of violence so know he wont stand a chance to get custody of them im just worried that if I didnt legally have custody he would just be able to take them away from me!!!

HeySoulSister Tue 30-Apr-13 16:20:14

custody is now known as residency. but he would need to take you to court for access,and then the court would look at your concerns

think you should see a solicitor,does he have PR and how old are the children??

STIDW Tue 30-Apr-13 20:31:06

If you aren't married is the father named on the birth certificate or has he acquired Parental Responsibility any other way? Parental Responsibility gives someone the responsibilities required for raising a child and the rights to enable them to carry out those responsibilities. If the father doesn't have PR and you won't make a PR agreement he could apply to court to grant him it.

The terms "access" and "custody" were replaced with "contact" and "residence" some years ago. Residence determines where a child lives and a fair number of residence applications result in shared residence when a child "lives' in two homes although not necessarily 50:50 equal shared time. If your ex has Parental Responsibility he has equal responsibility for determining arrangements for contact and/or residence and when arrangements can't be agreed either parent can apply to court for a decision regarding contact, residence or any other PR issue.

It can take some time to get a residence order and having one doesn't prevent contact. Generally contact is seen as being in the best interests of children and if there are concerns about the children's welfare and safety it is better to argue for safe contact, say supervised in a contact centre. When a child is taken or not returned it is possible to apply to court as an emergency for interim residence and their return.

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