Advanced search

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you have any legal concerns we suggest you consult a solicitor.

Financial settlement

(17 Posts)
ilovemilton Mon 29-Apr-13 14:59:21

Split from H in October following years of DV. Married for 10 years. I am now living in the house (joint mortgage) with DC aged 7 and 4. H currently staying with a friend. I am currently paying all mortgage and bills, he is paying £30/week CM.
I have always been the main earner, approx £22k, while he chose to work part time in a shop after completing his degree ten years ago. He earns approx £8k. Equity in the house is approx £10k.
What would be a reasonable offer in terms of financial settlement? We have no savings, so how do I actually "settle"?
I can afford to take the mortgage in my name, so how much do I need to offer him for this?
Can he force me to sell the house?
I have an NHS pension, can I be forced to cash this in to give him half, after he has chosen not to get his own pension?
Also, is it right that I pay all the mortgage and bills while this is sorted out, especially while he is still storing things in our home?
Any advice will be greatly appreciated.

STIDW Mon 29-Apr-13 22:38:57

Realistically on an income of £8 your husband isn't going to be able to afford any more than child maintenance and his own living costs. If you haven't already done so check out what state help you can get, in particular any potential increase in Working Families Tax Credits at

Divorce settlements depend on the specific details and if a pension fund isn't that big it may not be worthwhile sharing but it will still need to factored into the final reckoning. A good starting point is to consider how everyone is to be housed. Your ex won't be able to get a mortgage but perhaps he needs something towards a deposit for a rented property and costs of setting himself up where the children can stay for contact and furnishings. HOwever you need to consider how you would raise the money to pay him off.

toosoppyforwords Tue 30-Apr-13 13:17:52

is your husband going to start working full time - part time may have been ok when you were together as a family unit, but i would be expecting him to work full time now.....
How old is he and doies he have suitable years ago to start contributing to and accruing a pension? I think you will probably need to get some pensions valuations done but i would be arguing (i'm not a lawyer) that as a single man he can support himself, and should build up this himself as the marital assets are not huge and you have the responsibility and cost of the children

ilovemilton Tue 30-Apr-13 14:04:11

The reason he worked part time was his own choice and not childcare related anyway. He has a computer related degree so is perfectly capable of getting a higher paid job. He has never joined a pension scheme because he preferred to spend the money now. I provided all bills, mortgage and food payments and well as arranging/doing all of the childcare throughout.

ilovemilton Tue 30-Apr-13 14:16:11

It just feels that he has spent ten years being lazy and not contributing while I have ran the house and juggled the kids, and now I have to provide him with everything...and it feels that it will be the children who ultimately lose out.

ilovemilton Tue 30-Apr-13 14:19:40

Also, he is taking me to court regarding finances. He has a solicitor through legal aid and I can't afford a any advice regarding how to argue my point would be extremely valued!

toosoppyforwords Tue 30-Apr-13 14:32:22

I would post this in legal and i'm sure you will get one of the lovely lawyers there assisting you on how best to word your proposals and argue your points

ilovemilton Tue 30-Apr-13 14:43:07

ooh do I move the thread?

toosoppyforwords Tue 30-Apr-13 15:07:42

i think you can just 'report' it and ask for it to be moved - or maybe just rewrite your OP in the legal section.

YoniMeKateMumsnet (MNHQ) Tue 30-Apr-13 16:52:40

We'll be moving this to legal in just a mo.

STIDW Tue 30-Apr-13 19:52:20

It's madness to go to court disputing £10k. Is your husband aware that if he successfully claims against you legal aid has to be paid back from any money he is awarded and he won't benefit from pension sharing until he is retired? Would he be willing to try mediation?

Modern marriages are considered a relationship of two equals with the contributions of both parties usually taken as equal. Your case relies on your need to provide adequate housing for the children and your husband's potential income. You need to show you can take on the mortgage and how much money you could raise to pay something to your ex. If there is evidence you can't raise any extra money then you can't pay and a court may award you all the equity as it is so little and you have the responsibility for housing the children. As the mortgage is in joint names you need to check the lender might will transfer it to your sole name or you can get a mortgage with another lender otherwise your ex may be required to remain on the mortgage.

Pension sharing will depend on the size of the fund, your ages, the number of years and potential to save before retirement. There are fees involved in sharing a pension and if the pension fund isn't that great it may not be worthwhile splitting.

ilovemilton Tue 30-Apr-13 20:04:45

Thanks for your reply. I know it is madness to go to court for this, he doesn't seem to care. His attitude is if he can't have the money then neither can I.
I can afford the mortgage in my name only and it has been agreed in principle, but I have no way of raising any money to pay him off without selling the house. I would then not have enough money for a deposit on a new house.
Re pensions, it is a NHS pension that I have paid into for ten years, don't really understand the values of pensions.

STIDW Tue 30-Apr-13 20:34:48

The value of a pension may not be so crucial if the capital value is shared 50:50.

AnythingNotEverything Tue 30-Apr-13 20:45:50

I have no advice on the settlement, but you say you can afford the mortgage on your own. Have you spoken to the bank about taking it on? Being able to afford the monthly payments does not necessarily mean the bank will allow you to borrow the money on your own. I don't mean to sound negative - just check!

ilovemilton Tue 30-Apr-13 21:25:52

Yes I've checked with my current lender and also had my figures agreed with by another bank. Thanks! smile

iheartdusty Tue 30-Apr-13 22:05:59

by the way, pension sharing does not mean cashing it in - it means that 'pension credits' are transferred to the other person who either keeps them with the same pension provider or has to use them to buy a new pension, it depends on the scheme. You get a pension, you don't get a lump sum of cash.

ilovemilton Tue 30-Apr-13 22:20:02

Oh thanks, that's a great help! I had no idea what all the pensions stuff meant. That's less of a worry too.

Join the discussion

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now