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Geniunely need HELP/ADVICE PLEASE - NEED URGENT PTSD TRAUMA THERAPY (which is >>>££££) so swift advice on BEST WAY TO FLOG A ROLEX PLEASE?

(8 Posts)
NeedSwiftHelpPLEASE Sun 28-Apr-13 19:44:44

Have name-changed but know is a poss some of you may recognise 'bits' of this; if you do, please don't out me under my normal user name.

Concise summary:

One of my DCs was attacked brutally nearly 6 years ago by then DH. He ended up in hospital for 9 weeks and I genuinely knew he might die. Had to come home from him to other DCs (younger and just shocked and bewildered at the vast upheavals in their lives, and who also need very hefty parenting), and 'whack a face on' for them. Was beyond head-fucking & traumatic in the extreme. Ditto the fact that my life had, obv, imploded in less than 24 hours in every single way (IE the standard pysch MH needs of somewhere to live; someone to love; something to do). AM now divorced but financial hearing not until this Autumn (for variety of reasons). I stopped my (fab/high-earning/much loved) career to care for my then obviously very high-need DCs. Have seen them all from then to now successfully, but has been THE hardest of journies.

However, having to leave my career has - utterly HORRIFICALLY - left me WHOLLY financially dependent on vile & now slightly mad with major control issues 'D'XH. And until that hearing in Autumn, he and he alone decides what monthly transfer is appropriate. [Context - it is less than a third of what my own day rate used to be ]. And he does NOT want me to access the help I so despearatly need, as he is UTTERLY desperate for me to stay both ill and with a very 'little' life - IE, a total 180 from 'normal me'. Normal me I now know being something that he resented; was jealous of; and that he never wants to be allowed to have a life again.

17 months ago I was, pretty unsurprisingly, diagnosed with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder which my health insurance does NOT cover. So waited on NHS but that's been laughable beyond laughable and no help forthcoming.

PTSD is very progressive and I have been pointed to a great Trauma Therapist (PTSD Trauma Therapy is unique against other therapies, i.e. CBT etc) in that it gets worse before it gets better as it involves going over what triggered the trauma and also EMDR. I waited for NHS, and then when given up on that after a year - in which all obviously worsened - I had to further wait as my only parent was dying/died (as you cannot embark on Trauma Therapy whilst have any other ongoing 'Traumatic' event occuring). But I don't now have time to play with.

I need to access that help ASAP now, but (obv...) vile twunt of an Ex - whose career remains intact along with his >£200k income - as it wasn't in the children's best interests to prosecute him, remains with-holding funds other than those to cover 'basics'.

My plan to urgently now fund trauma therapy (which is £100 per session) is to sell a Rolex he bought me, but have no clue where to start; how to maximise it's income; or to avoid being ripped off.


(Am terrified no-one will see this, so will also post in MH & Legal as DESP for quick pointers here as stakes are pretty high nowangrysadangry )

mumblechum1 Sun 28-Apr-13 20:35:37

tbh I don't understand why your solicitor isn't applying for interim spousal maintenance for you. Not sure why your question is ostensibly about selling a watch when you then go into a lot of detail about your history; I presume that what you really want is legal advice about how to secure some financial security through the divorce?

If the question is really about how to salvage some financial security from your husband, you should be making applications for interim spousal maintenance, child maintenance through the CSA and possibly an application for an interim lump sum order. Your solicitor should have already told you all this stuff.

Sorry if I've got the wrong end of the stick. If your question is really about how to sell a Rolex I suggest that you look on ebay and see what the going rate is.

CajaDeLaMemoria Sun 28-Apr-13 20:40:17

Do you have the receipt for the Rolex? They are lovely watches, and do tend to get good prices, but it does depend on the model. Without the receipt and certificate of authenticity you may struggle, though, because there are so many fakes.

You could eBay it (read all the guides to make sure you don't get scammed) or take it to an auction, or try GumTree... I presume you don't know anyone private to sell it too? You could also try pawnshops, if you are desperate, but you might not get a great price.

I think you need to reconsider your current situation, though. I don't think it's in your children's best interests for you to be controlled like this: get legal advice, and sort this out. Once the stress of being controlled is gone, it'll be like a weight is lifted, and you may find PTSD therapy is much more effective then.

As you said, you can't be going through ongoing trauma, and this is mighty close to qualifying as ongoing trauma.

NeedSwiftHelpPLEASE Sun 28-Apr-13 20:52:47

Mumblechum No - post def solely about needing advice re shifting Rolex to get immed capital for Trauma Therapy (as symptoms now pretty bad). We are already divorced, with final financial hearing set for Autumn but - and big NIGHTMARE but - I don't HAVE a solicitor as I can't afford one but nor do I qualify for legal aid. SOLE reason included background was in hope that people might see this was serious and I DO need help here.

PTSD is vicious in that it robs you of both energy/physical capacity, but also capacity/mental capability - IE 'normal' me would be WELL capable of probably finding out in less than an hour what best route is, but PTSD phsyically (hence it being a 'pyschiatric injury' too) 'breaks' connections to frontal cortext meaning even simple tasks are impossible (& I am someone who is 'used to' doing multi million $$$ deals etc and with a brain on fire). It is a living nightmare and worsened by fact am UTTERLY isolated as have had to be in order to protect DC's privacy. Am frankly amazed have finally managed post this, as whilst I seem to be able to do 'chat' well etc on MN - almost ANYTHING important/remotely even TOUCHING the trauma stuff, I just appear incapable of doingsad/

Caja No - don't have receipt although it is easy enough to ID it as genuine (i.e. free-flowing hands, serial number etc). It is an Oyster Perpertual; silver on outside of links with gold strip down middle of links. And yes, this is ALL a living nightmare and I genuinely have no idea how have got through past 6 years or last 18months WITH bastard PTSDsadangry

CajaDeLaMemoria Sun 28-Apr-13 20:56:50

Oooh, from what I remember, that's a lovely watch! Is it in good condition?

Is it more important to sell it quickly, or get it's full value?

CajaDeLaMemoria Sun 28-Apr-13 20:58:59

There's some Oyster Perpetuals on eBay. They go for between £800 and £3000, depending on the type and condition.

Do you use eBay? You need to be careful to send it so that it's fully insured and tracked, don't let the buyer arrange their own courier, make sure payment has cleared before sending, etc, but if you are careful it's good. Just be aware that an expensive watch may attract scammers!

[ here's a link]

CajaDeLaMemoria Sun 28-Apr-13 20:59:09

iheartdusty Sun 28-Apr-13 21:00:03

even without a solicitor you can apply for maintenance pending suit.

as the financial stuff is well under way, it should be very straightforward because all the information should be ready, if you have a final hearing date?

call your court office and they can tell you what the procedure is.

good luck with it all.

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