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how to refuse contact centre

(9 Posts)
bumptobabies Sun 14-Apr-13 21:09:43

ex partner not on birth cert, of dd 9mths never lived together. worrying behaviour ie not feeding dd hasnt seen dd since start of year, he started legal action he wants to meet at a contact centre as he dosnt want to see me.

i am happy for him to attend one of dd activities like music or swimming, with me in the room as i have been advised by health profesional not to have contact unsupervised, i think we should mirror how to be cival,

i am aware until he goes to court i dont have to give him anything. but i believe a child has the right to both parents however i dont want to give more or less than what would be given should he go all the way to court.

please can you help with how i should word a response, also im not comfortable leaving dd with two strangers at contact centre especially at this seperation anxiety stage. thank you

OldLadyKnowsNothing Sun 14-Apr-13 21:11:30

When you say "He has started legal action", what exactly do you mean? Have you had a letter from his solicitor?

MajaBiene Sun 14-Apr-13 21:13:13

If he's not on the birth certificate, then surely the first thing he will have to do is go to court to get parental responsibility?

HeySoulSister Sun 14-Apr-13 21:13:42

So what would you suggest he does?

He busily rely does not have to have contact with you present. Strangers will only be strangers for a short time...

HeySoulSister Sun 14-Apr-13 21:14:26

*absolutely that should read

bumptobabies Sun 14-Apr-13 21:44:30

i have recieved a letter from his solicitor asking for him to see dd on a weekend without me present. my health visitor has said he poses risk to me and dd so to meet in public space. hence why my responce was for him to attend a drop in. im my letter i also pointed out his lack of consistancy and his alarming behaviour towards baby and myself. ie telling baby its fat pouring milk down sink, being rough, leaving with a stranger and so it goes.

so im now thinking about him doing one of the classes instead of me and i will be on the otherside of the room, also i want to normalise these visits as much as possable. and yes i know i dont have to let him see baby but a court will eventually award contact so i want to be seen to be doing the right thing. if it were about me i would not want to see him again however it is not,

bumptobabies Sun 14-Apr-13 21:46:59

he is also committing serious benefit fraud earning £750 a week and acting, and dj ing and claiming incapacity,housing benefit,legal aid oh and paying £5 a week csa oh and hasnt paid tax for 5 yrs no moral compass

prh47bridge Sun 14-Apr-13 23:54:41

MajaBiene - No he does not need PR to apply for a contact order.

bumptobabies - No special wording is needed. Just say what you want. And please report him for the benefit and tax fraud.

WestieMamma Mon 15-Apr-13 00:16:54

If you have concerns then a contact centre could be an ideal solution for him to see his child without you. The contact centres themselves are like parent and toddler groups, the only difference being that he wouldn't be allowed to leave with the child and there is some supervision. The one I went to when my daughter was little had a separate room where all the mums sat and chatted and waited for the end of the session. So we were still on the premises, just not in the hall where the children and toys were.

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