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Moving 70miles away from ex

(3 Posts)
homemadecookie Tue 02-Apr-13 23:12:34

Hi, I've just heard today that I've been successful in getting a new job back near my family. Although I love my current job, I have no family nearby except my ex 10miles away. His family all live near him and tbh I find them all very intimidating. There have been a few issues over the last few years and I try to have as little to do with them as possible.

Now, obviously, I have to tell him that we're moving, approx 70 miles away. At the minute he has them 3 nights/fortnight, which will probably have to reduce to 2 nights/fortnight. I'm more than willing for them to stay extra during school holidays, which will make up for this, but I'm dreading telling him tomorrow. He was meant to have them 3 nights last weekend due to Easter hols, but they actually only stayed with him one night, and with his family the other 2. This is always happening, and although he is meant to be seeing them, he's either working or out socialising.

Has anybody else been in this situation? All idea's would be very gratefully received. I know he'll be upset at us leaving.... but he can't stop us, can he???

MimsyBorogroves Tue 02-Apr-13 23:24:49

I've been in the same situation with more of a distance. What I did was to first take legal advice (half an hour free at a solicitors) so I knew where I stood legally. That way I could encourage him to do the same.

I then wrote down my "offer" with an electronic back up - which was to ensure that travel to my ex's home was covered by me financially, and that he would be offered periods over the school holidays pretty much at his discretion to ensure that I was facilitating as much contact as possible. I was told by my solicitor that this wasn't entirely necessary (I had to move because of redundancy and job availability) but I did it anyway to help make the transition less difficult.

I was in a fortunate position in that my DS was about ready to begin at school, that he would have no friends from nursery at the school he would have gone to in my old home town, and that the school he would go to was a lot better once I had moved. This showed minimum disruption to his life.

kittycat68 Thu 04-Apr-13 17:30:28

ive moved further. my ex did object and took it court. judge looked at if the children would be better off ie better schools better finacial postion for me etc. Judge found in my favour and split the travelling between us.

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