What do I need to consider before instigating separation ?

[Gingerbreadlatte]

Married 5yrs. 2 children. I shared, jointly mortgaged house. Equal ish salaries.

I'm seriously considering separation and initially would like a weeks break to give us all time to think.

I would take children with me. I am on paid mat leave currently.

Will this count against me legally? Would it be considered as abandoning the family home ?

It's going to be nasty so I want my facts straight before I act.

Thanks.

[McKayz]

I'll bump this for you. X

[Gingerbreadlatte]

Thanks Kayz

[Gingerbreadlatte]

Anyone?

[McKayz]

Maybe re post it in relationships Ginger.

[toosoppyforwords]

I'm not a lawyer so hopefully one will come along and help you. I think the general view is not to leave the marital home - but are you saying you will simply leave for one week then return or you will leave with the intention of not going back?

From a what to consider you need to think about things like:
Value of equity in the house, will you need to sell this, portion of any possible equity sharing, would he keep the house and buy you out and so on?

How will the mortgage on this be paid until a divorce and financial settlement reached? Will he pay this himself, can you both afford to be housed while keeping this going?

how much assets are in the marital pot - including any pensions you both may have?

Can you afford to house yourself and your children with your salary/child maintenance/tax credits you may be able to claim? WIll you be looking for spousal maintenance (i dont think the courts generally favour this, certainly not long term)

Do you have an idea of the child maintenance you could get based on his income and a CSA %?

What would residency and contact look like...will he fight you for residency or 50/50 share for example? How would you facilitate contact. How will continue to co-parent?

Is he likely to agree to the split and can things remain 'amicable' or will this come as a shock to him and he will likely fight you on everything?

Will you be filing for divorce, if so on what grounds? Or will you separate for 2 years first?

Of course the above is just a few things for consideration. Alot will obviously depend on age of the children, assets owned and whether or not this will be an acrimoneous split. THink 50:50 starting point on assets and possible bargaining upwards if you are going to have primary care and residency of young children.

Would suggest it is worth speaking with a solicitor before you move out to get an idea on how things could shape up (just keep in mind that when he gets a solicitor he may well be told the same/different, i.e.yours might say you will get X, his may say no way we will agree to X etc)

Hope someone comes along with more official advice soon.

[Gingerbreadlatte]

Thanks too soppy. Really helpful.

Thanks for the bump McKayz.

[StrawberriesTasteLikeLipsDo]

Bump for you ginger (its V btw), although the above advice is very thorough x