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Will help please regarding DC's and divorce.

(11 Posts)
SpringyReframed Mon 21-Jan-13 20:44:32

When I first separated from my stbx and contacted a solicitor I was advised to re write my Will. This was done with the tenants in common stuff (sorry cant be remember al the technical terms now) dealt with.
I made a very simple Will leaving my estate equally divided between my 3 DC's. However, after this the relationship between stbx and the DC's completely disintegrated. (see my DV thread). They no longer have anything to do with him. The older 2 have established adult lives (and live in rented flats). DC3 is only 17 and intends to go to Uni.
Today in a flash of panic I wondered if this Will now needs updating. DC3 hates stbx and should I die I know he would not want to live or even associate with him. What I think I would like to do is ask DC's to buy a single house with the money they would inherit so that DC3 would have a home, and perhaps DC2 could live there too. DC 1 lives abroad at the moment but equally it would be nice to have a UK base for her like she does now with my home.
My question is, does the above sound sensible and if so should I just add a letter to my existing Will asking them to do this, and discuss it with them or should I have it formally changed? Or indeed should I just leave all my estate to DC3 and explain why? I could then always change it back again when he finishes Uni and is on "equal footing" with the other two.
Sorry if this sounds over thinking it but I feel a huge responsibility for DC3 sad and worry he only has me, and his siblings.

Collaborate Mon 21-Jan-13 20:49:41

You could create a trust, giving DC3 the right to stay in the house until end of Uni, then has to be sold and divided. May be tax consequences though, so don't skimp on the legal advice.

SpringyReframed Mon 21-Jan-13 21:15:46

I would want him to be able to do is buy a house where he ends up at Uni which would be the most sensible move financially or near/with his DB, who will always be in the same place because of the work he does.

The idea of a trust sounds exactly what I should be doing. I am totally broke and dont really want to spend more money on changes to my Will but seeing as its probably going to be 5 years until DC3 starts working it would give me peace of mind when driving on dangerous roads and thus would be worth doing.

Thanks Collaborate.

SpringyReframed Mon 21-Jan-13 21:16:53

Opps, first sentence should start with What....

Collaborate Mon 21-Jan-13 21:33:10

The trust should be created by your will. Mumblechum does wills. PM her.

redandwhitesprinkles Mon 21-Jan-13 21:45:24

Mumblechum rocks and is reasonable!

RedHelenB Tue 22-Jan-13 08:10:13

It would be very unfair to leave all the money to DC3 surely? You need to have a proper talk with all 3 of them about what would be the best thing to do & then change your will accordingly.

mumblechum1 Tue 22-Jan-13 13:44:24

Thanks Collaborate and Red and White for mentioning my will writing business (my paid for advert is over on Classifieds/Small Business/Marlow Wills 5* Will Writing Service).

OP, it's a lot more complicated than adding a letter. What you describe is putting your estate into a trust with the short term purpose of purchasing a property for your DC3, and possible DC2 to live in. There is a lot to consider, not the least being who would be the trustees, under what circumstances could that property be purchased and then sold, when it should be sold, whether there should then be an even or uneven distribution of the net proceeds of sale.

If you'd like to contact me via the website, or PM me, we can talk further. What you would like to do is certainly do-able, but you need to set up the trust properly to avoid any arguments in the future.

MOSagain Tue 22-Jan-13 15:54:51

another vote for mumblechum, money well spent and far cheaper than a High Street solicitor

mumblechum1 Tue 22-Jan-13 17:12:31

thanks MOS smile

SpringyReframed Tue 22-Jan-13 17:33:00

Thanks Mumblechum smile I will talk to the DC's together as soon as I can, most likely by email as DC1 in France and then PM you. I know they will think me a bit mad, it not being that long since I did a Will and told them they were inheriting equally.

I know it seems unfair RedHelen but in terms of need his would be the greatest. DC3 is a long way off earning a good salary like my other DCs are already doing. I was thinking something on the lines of them buying a house which then has to be sold (unless all DC's agree not to sell ) when DC3 is 25 and then the proceeds divided equally. Hmm, but then if they inherited when he was 24.......! This is why I need an expert like Mumblechum grin

Thanks very much for all your input.

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