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Can I ask Court to intervene when enough is enough?

(3 Posts)
ItsRainingOutside Fri 28-Dec-12 14:32:10

My exP started court proceedings against me two years ago initially to gain joint custody of our dd who is now 12. He lives in the US. The action was taken as a direct result of me asking REMO to secure child support for us as he hadn't made any financial contribution towards my dd in 2 years, despite empty promises. To cut a long story short, several court hearings later and involvement from CAFCASS, we all agreed that a good minimum proposal was he would see her for a 4 week visit to the US in the summer holidays and was free to see her during any of the other holidays subject to everyone's availability and agreement. They would also be free to Skype each other as and when they liked. During the 2 years of this court action, we've stuck to this arrangement despite no court order being in place - he wants something concrete he can hold me to for some reason despite me never, ever, preventing access to him. My dd's argument is that she's now about to become a teenager and also has rights as to whether she wants to leave home for the majority of the summer holidays. In my mind she shouldn't be forced to so have asked that some preamble goes into any court order which says all arrangements are subject to discussion between her and her father and her ultimate agreement. He objects to this saying although he wouldn't force her to go away, she musn't be left with the ultimate decision as she's too young. His solicitor (we get on extremely well and she's given me some good objective advice) has suggested a video link - he's never attended any one of the 8 hearings - so that the judge can see the "whites of his eyes" and understand why he won't agree to dd having a say now that she's old enough to do so. The judge's opinion is that the child also has rights. We've had no reply to our suggestion in 2 months - can I ask the court to put a timeline on reaching some kind of agreement otherwise we just write it off? Sorry for rambling!


trustissues75 Fri 28-Dec-12 18:10:18


I don't see why not. My NSDH refused to acknowledge any of the hearings here in the UK so in the end the judge went ahead and just ruled anyway.

Out of interest, seeing as there actually isn't a court order in place, and seeing as I'm assuming from your exh's actions that this is really about control and not actually about a father/daughter relationship, have you considered what you would do if on one of the visits to the USA if he refused to send her back?

ItsRainingOutside Fri 28-Dec-12 20:21:21

He works for the US government so if he didn't return her, it would be severely detrimental to his career. She knows the drill though if it ever looks like he won't bring her home.

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