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Help - Divorcing on grounds of unreasonable behaviour

(9 Posts)
Nomorepain Sun 11-Nov-12 16:20:17


To keeps costs as low as possible I have been asked by my solicitor to produce a list if 8 examples of ex unreasonable behaviour. I am struggling to keep them concise because it is all so bad! Can anyone provide any examples? How wordy can they be? I am worried that I won't give full picture if I don't include the detail

susiedaisy Sun 11-Nov-12 16:27:07

In my experience they want a list of incidents that you found unreasonable, controlling, frightening, etc etc i had to do the same and I listed around 20 times that I could remember that my exH had made me feel frightened, intimidated or had pushed shoved or hit me and the dc, including the times he exposed the dc to his behaviour, I was truthful throughout and also explained how it made me feel.

Nomorepain Sun 11-Nov-12 16:36:08

Was it wordy? I was asked to do a paragraph on each incident but they are complex and require more than one paragraph!! Thank you

susiedaisy Sun 11-Nov-12 16:41:37

Write as much as you need to, the solicitor will edit it so that it is presented to the judge in the correct way, your solicitor will show you and ask you to approve of her amendments before it is handed to the courts.

babybarrister Sun 11-Nov-12 20:47:05

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

mumblechum1 Sun 11-Nov-12 20:51:38

Yy BB. grin

OP, to be brutally frank, no-one really cares what the reasons are. The petition needs to have sufficient info for it to be clear that the marriage has broken down, but no one is going to bother to read a great long S12.

I always asked my clients to give me 3 or 4 specific incidents, eg he shouted at me and called me a xxx, we had a row and he left me to walk home alone in the middle of nowhere, he threw a mug at my head and it just missed me, etc.

Also a paragraph about more general stuff, eg he isn't interested in going out with me as a couple, he only wants to go out with his mates.

I always aimed for about half a page of A4, with paragraph breaks.

Nomorepain Sun 11-Nov-12 21:16:09

Jeez I have definately done more than half an A4. A friend is just reading through it for me and then I will send it off to solicitor.

Found it quite cathartic to write - any doubts that I had were dissolved by seeing his actions in black and white!!

mumblechum1 Mon 12-Nov-12 10:04:06

The thing you need to be careful about, assuming that you're paying privately, is writing reams which your solicitor then has to plough through to pick out a reasonable amount, as he or she will be charging you about £200 an hour. If they have to spend an hour going over your particulars and slashing them/tweaking them, that's £200 you could have spent on something else.

Far better to pick out half a dozen short but telling paragraphs.

MOSagain Mon 12-Nov-12 14:12:46

posted on your other thread but agree with babybarrister and mumblechum as always.

Totally agree about how reading it in black and white helps you realise you've made the right decision sad

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