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child taken into care because i was enotionally abused. anyone else??(9 Posts)
I had my baby in July and due to my partner at the time being emotionally abusive, my dad involved the ss.
I met with a ss 4 days before my son was born, she stayed for about 15 minutes. She encouraged me to leave my partner but in the same breath told me I wouldn't be able to cope as a single mum as I'm 'not strong enough'. I should also point out this was the first time I ever met this lady.
2 hours after the birth of my son, AR I will call her, walked into the labour room and told my partner he had to leave and was not allowed to see our baby and that me and the baby could not go home. She offered no help as to finding somewhere else to live and said that was down to me. I wasn't even allowed to go back for our belongings. I later fiend out this was before she'd even done an initial assessment.
2 data later I received a phonecall saying that if we didnt move to my sisters in high Wycombe that she would take my baby away and to get a solicitor as she was taking us to court. We went to court and a interim care order was granted and my son and I moved to high Wycombe the following day. Again no assessments were done.
8 days later, AR showed up and said she was taking my baby. she had no formal papers saying that he had to go into care, just said if I dont hand him over I will be arrested. She told me to go home back to my partner and shed be in touch. Again no assessments were done. At his point I breastfed my son, but was told I was no longer allowed to because it was the ss right to decide. She said if i expressed she would pick up my milk for him, but she never came.
The first weekend apart they took my son into hospital, as he still had a lump on his head from the ventouse delivery and they went to see if I had done it to him.
My contact with him had to be supervised and was for an hour 3 days a week. However I was lucky if I got 1.
I immediately applied for another court date. AR used it against me that I had gone back to my partner despite the fact she had told me to. I asked her for help to find other housing for just my son and I and she said no. The only way I could get him back was if I was on my own. I went to the council and explained my situation and they put me on the housing list, however they put me right at the bottom. I live in a small area and private renting was very limited. In the end I had no choice but to kick my baby's dad out and get an injunction order on him so he couldnt come back.
I applied for another court date and it was orderedthat my son be returned to my care in four weeks.
The four weeks passed and at the next court date came, but the ss decided they wouldn't not return him to my care until they had seen my phone records, despite my solicitor, my exes solicitor and my son's guardian and solicitor opposing this. We did not have enough court time to contest this so had to go along with it.
In the mean time, AR went off sick for mental health reasons and a new sw was assigned.
My phone records have come back and proven that my ex and I have not been in contact, and yet I still have to wait a week for the rehabilitation plan to begin that lasts 10 days.
It has taken nearly4 months for a core assessment to be done, still no initial one has been done. The new sw had no choice but to complete it in 4 days when it takes a minimum of seven weeks to complete.
My son's foster carer has complained that she cannot get him into a routine because he sees me so often (now five days a week for 3 hours) and that he is too clingy because I show him too much attention. She has also contacted the ss trying to delay him coming home so that her family can say bye to him?!
He is due home in 13 days and I cannot wait.
The next stage is taking it back to court with my solicitor to complain. I am looking at receiving £125,000 in compo, but this will never bring back the first four months of my son's life.
Has anyone else experienced anything like this? My case was so badly done and I have heard that AR has an appalling reputation, so I surely can't be the only one?
See that's where I've had my problem. From going to court and being at a lot of the meetings, it became apparent what AR was telling her manager and what was being put in the paperwork and what I was being told couldn't be more different. It seems her manager was none the wiser. I now know that she's been signed off work for mental health issues and my solicitor has said it has been suggested its from what's she's done to my family, so we didn't stand a fighting chance really, but why we're looking at so much compo.
I don't know anything about this issue but just wanted to add my support. Your story shocked me to the core. I have a baby of a year old and the thought of her being taken away is too awful to contemplate. It's a relief to know your little boy is coming back...sounds like you've got some supportive family members to gather round and celebrate. Congratulations! And I'm very sorry for what you've gone through.x
how terrifying that she could just take your baby without any assessment ever taking place! this has really shocked me. what the hell was her motivation to remove him so quickly from you? why didn't she offer any support? this is horrendous.
125k is just what my solicitor has said, but its not what's important to me, just gettin my son home is.
From what I've heard from the new sw and my solicitor is that AR has severe mental health issues now and that's why she's been signed off. She was awful to me, she used to ring me up just to threaten to take my son away and tell me I was a bad mum. She said I'm not allowed to breastfeed anymore because now she was involved it was no longer my decision. My son will have been in care for a total of 3 months and has had a total of 4 carers. My poor baby is so unsettled when he could have just been at home with me because I've been separated from his dad for 4 months! You hear stories but never think it will happen to you
Do you know I would have raised an eyebrow at this story until I've seen with my own eyes what my friend is going through. It's like some kind of surreal kafka-esque nightmare.
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