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What are his rights?

(3 Posts)
Didi6 Wed 31-Oct-12 21:38:34

Hi all
I'm really concerned for my brother and the situation he has found himself in with his ex. I'm concerned that the pressure he is under is unsustainable.

Bear with me with a little backstory. She wanted to separate 15 months ago. They have two children and she made it impossible for them to live together so he left to rent a small house down the road so that the children wouldn't have to live with the tension while they sorted out selling the house and starting afresh. He adores his children and they adore him. They have shared equity in the house, but he has paid the mortgage and still does. They put the house on the market, but it didn't sell. She took it off the market (without his permission) and set about trying to buy him out (and moved a new boyfriend in).

Now she has decided not to try and buy him out and has instead instructed a solicitor.

He can only afford to rent, pay the mortgage and child maintenance for a short time and has none of his assets - no car, no furniture, not even full set of linen! Now it looks like he will have to borrow off me (and I don't have much) to pay solicitor fees. All he wants is a fair and reasonable split so that he can also build a modest home for himself and for when the children come to stay. He is committed to paying full and reasonable child maintenance of course.

My question is - they are not married, what can she achieve through a solicitor? Can she get an order to stay in the house or can he force sale? If she gets an order to stay in the house I honestly think that will push him over the edge as he will essentially lose EVERYTHING he has worked so hard for for twenty years. He is hemaoragging money and getting further and further into debt meeting his responsibilities with maintenance, mortgage and rent.

He is such a kind good person, and I don't know how to help him. She'll drop the kids in the big car and leave him them stuck out in the country whilst she pootles around with the boyf.

She sends him horrid texts and e-mails and lives in the nice big house with her boyfriend. The problem we have is she is so volatile that everyone is scared to confront her in case she kicks off, and this will upset the children.

Any thoughts on this welcome.

OldLadyKnowsNothing Wed 31-Oct-12 22:58:25

I am not a lawyer.

You say they have shared equity, what does that mean? Did she pay an equal deposit, has she paid half the mortgage (seems not) and is her name on the title deeds/mortgage? All of these things will make a difference.

In the meantime, encourage your dbro not to panic. He needs to speak to Citizen's Advice to start getting an idea of what his rights are, and then just wait and see what the ex has to say via her solicitor.

And bear in mind that a letter from a solicitor has no more power than a letter from Santa Claus. They make your heart pound and you break into a cold sweat (or maybe that's just me) but ultimately, they don't mean anything.

olgaga Wed 31-Oct-12 23:59:15

everyone is scared to confront her in case she kicks off, and this will upset the children.

It would be completely counter-productive for any of you to confront her as it really isn't your role. There are other ways to support your brother. It does seem unfair that he has had to start again but taking anything from the house she lives in would basically be taking things from his children's home.

If the house didn't sell, then it wasn't for sale at a realistic asking price. You need to bear in mind that turfing her out of the home will also make the children homeless.

Your brother needs to get legal advice, even if he has to borrow money to do so.

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