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Advice needed!!

(9 Posts)
NannyGR Sun 28-Oct-12 19:41:07

Hello, just out of interest at what age is a child deemed old enough to make their own decision on which parent they want to live with (obviously parents have split up) or at what age would the court 'listen' to what the child wanted? Any advice would be much appreciated. Thanks

NotaDisneyMum Mon 29-Oct-12 07:29:22

My DSS was only 6 when the court requested a wishes and feelings report.

When it came to their decision, he was subject to an order based on the report, but DSD, who was 12, was subject to a court recital that required DP and his ex to facilitate contact on defined days/times, subject to her specific wishes.

I don't think DCs ever get to choose but courts seem to want to hear the views of even very young children.

babybarrister Mon 29-Oct-12 09:05:28

generally over 10 but each case depends on facts and the older a child is, the more decisive their feelings are

Collaborate Mon 29-Oct-12 09:07:34

The W&F of a 6 year old are seldom taken into account, although if they have a traumatic relationship with the parent seeking contact that is taken into account.

Look - a 6 year old isn't asked "what do you think is best for you?".

If mum says a child is afraid of dad, the child will be asked about that because of course it is relevant, and the reasons for the belief are relevant too. Often it could be that the child has witnessed domestic violence.

MOSagain Mon 29-Oct-12 17:37:38

I'm be very suprised if the wishes of a 6 year old were taken into account. Surely they'd say whichever parent gave them the biggest bribe/birthday present?

Over 10 years I think they'd take into account.

NannyGR, what age is your child/children?

NannyGR Mon 29-Oct-12 19:20:53

Hello thanks for your replies its actually my step-son i was wondering about and he is 4 but always states that he doesn't want to go home and wants to stay with me and daddy but we shall see, was just interested that if it ever did go to court when his opinion would matter.

ATourchOfInsanity Mon 29-Oct-12 19:28:20

FWIW I remember saying that to both parents - they divorced when I was 4. Once I got to the other house it would be fine, but just take a while to settle in to the new routines.

I did witness DV as well and my mother took me to be filmed for court - I vaguely remember being told to go over some things I remembered. I assume dad had to watch this in Court when they went to custody. This was back in about 85/86 though so rules on what you can do may have changed now. It did seem a bit weird for me as I remember my mum almost coaching me on what to say the night before...so be warned, even young kids don't forget things like that and any input you have won't necessarily reflect well on you.

MOSagain Tue 30-Oct-12 11:32:30

NannyGR in my opinion, there is no way they would take his opinion into account, he is far too young, a long way off his wishes being taken into account.

Atouchtofinsanity what an awful experience sad

NannyGR Tue 30-Oct-12 13:06:46

I know that he is far to young at the moment for his opinion to count but I was just asking out of interest when it would count! :-)

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