Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you have any legal concerns we suggest you consult a solicitor.
How long can a divorce realistically take?(7 Posts)
Have been seperated since oct 2011. Hunted around for solicitors and finally picked nice family law specialist in April 2012. Have only met her in person once, have spoken to her assistant several times. Solicitor tends to write as opposed to meeting face to face. Solicitor advised meadiation but stbxh doesn't feel it's nessesary as we are mostly amicable. We have 2 yr old dd together. Marriage broke down due to his adultery.
Stbxh and I own (mortgaged) which we have agreed to let him remain in for the next 18 months and then house will be put on the market. The split of the profits is agreed, and we have both signed a document (which we both wrote) agreeing to this. There are no savings or pensions to split, no wills either, just debt which is mostly in my name (stbxh unable to get credit hence thinking it was forever, i took out the credit). We are paying them jointly at the mo as its all tied up in a joint debt management plan. But I am ready to take all my named debt into a new debt management plan, so in theory that's the debts sorted.
Access to dd is where stbxh will struggle. He has so far not maintained a routine of contact. He has either opted to go out with the lads, work or put ow first. We have agreed in principle an arrangement that will work for dd and him. I'm just waiting for him to put it into practise.
I'm still waiting on draft divorce papers from solicitor. There was an error on the last lot which I asked to be amended but I have not heard back from my last email. I have emailed again asking for an update.
Am I doing things wrong? Am I expecting too much of my solicitor? I'm getting grief from stbxh as he thinks it should be moving faster. Is it likely a judge will be satisfied with what we have done?
Apologies for my grammatically poor, spelt wrong rambling post (my night shifts are catching up on me)
Has your solicitor even petitioned for divorce yet? If there is agreement over split of assets and children I would ditch the solicitor and do it yourself.
Nope she hasn't, we are still at draft petition stage of which I'm still waiting for an amended copy of (I advised her of the error 4 weeks ago).
She should be amending that documents within a few days. Change lawyers. Some people send the draft divorce petition to the other side's lawyer s- we did as it's kinder and they can suggest changes but not essential.
Have you paid the lawyer any money up front?
Do you have legal aid? Just asking because if you do, your solicitor is billing £86 for the divorce itself. This means that they'll be snowed under (need to take on 4 times as many clients otherwise they're made redundant). Realistically you're getting an £86 service. Which is all the legal services commission is willing to pay for.
Thank you all for responding. Apologies for my late reply but I'm at work.
My solicitor has already informed me that she will be sending stbxh a copy, but only once I have agreed to what has been documented. I haven't been asked yet for any money as I am in receipt of legal aid. I wasn't aware what the solicitor received, so now you have said, I now understand a bit better why it feels like Im waiting a long time.
She did give me a document regarding the legal aid but I don't really understand it tbh. I was always under the assumption that my legal aid covered matters surrounding the house and DD, but not the actual divorce. When my welcome pack arrived from the solicitor it had the legal aid stuff but also a price list of what every action would cost. I have been anticipating a rather large bill for it all at the end.
I completely understand now that my divorce will be slower, but I truly hope it speeds up soon. stbxh is desperate to marry ow, and is putting a considerable amount of pressure on me to keep on top of it and make things move faster
The legal aid document probably said legal aid is a loan and if you win lump sums from the divorce or when the house is sold even if the children are not until 18 by then then that loan from the state is paid back.
I think we know the answer on the legal aid . It is so badly paid most lawyers won't do it and when they do it is not likely to be at the top of their work list.
If your ex wants speed he could pay your legal fees. I paid my husband's legal bills and mine (I earned 10x what he did).
If there is no money nad you do not like the delay you could always do the divorce yourselves. You can buy cheap packages on line, particularly as everytnig is agreed. It might be quicker although I don't recommend it particularly as complex things about a joint property need to be done.
Make sure that the agreement documented makes it clear who and when the house is marketdd and sold - which of you control the process, who shows buyers around, how you reach agreement on the price if you disagree on it.
I don't know which of you earns most but is it really necessary to sell the house and lose the children their home?
Join the discussion
Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.Register now
Already registered with Mumsnet? Log in to leave your comment or alternatively, sign in with Facebook or Google.
Please login first.