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Family Law advice needed: ExP asking qustions which I believe are not related to his parental responsabilitis

(22 Posts)
MsBakingCakes Sun 14-Oct-12 21:14:08

As tittle says, ExP is asking me what my working hours are as he believe that it has an impact on our DD care whilst I am working. I told him that DP and me are not using the childminder to drop DD off in pre-school because we have change our working ours so we are managing between us perfectly. He also believes that we has the right to know if we can afford the security of a house for DD because he believes that changing our hours means less money for us. We are renting and we are paying our rent.

I have told him that I am more than willing to talk with him anything within parental resposabilities but not my working hours or my DP's working hours.

All this started because I need his consent to take DD abroad and I told him that if he was not willing to give me his consent I would go to court and ask an specific issue order so I could take DD abroad.

He then said that it would be a good idea to go to court so we could have some court guidance about which information should be exchange regarding parental responsabilities. I have looked on the internet about parental responsabilities as well as in here and I believe there isn't anything about the resident parent's working hours. Am I right?

Sorry for such a long post and thanks in advance

cestlavielife Sun 14-Oct-12 21:59:41

Even if you did use childminder so what ?
Nothing to do with him or your care of dd

MsBakingCakes Sun 14-Oct-12 22:03:38

I thought that he had a say in childcare arrangements, am I wrong? I know that his opinion counts toward schooling.

Thanks for your reply

colditz Sun 14-Oct-12 22:06:18

He does not have the right to know how much you earn. I'm quite sure of that.

The court will only change the residency of the child in cases of abuse or neglect, not because you are a bit poorer than him. Does he pay maintenance?

MsBakingCakes Sun 14-Oct-12 22:13:29

He pays maintenance but earns a lot more than both of us together. He has threathen me in past about going to court but I have been reasure that the jdge will go through a welfare list and DD is not in danger with us. It is only him earning more

MsBakingCakes Sun 14-Oct-12 22:23:32

By the way he only pays the minimum he has to pay. I am not asking him for any more as we are happy like this smile

colditz Sun 14-Oct-12 22:36:24

Him earning more does not make him a better parent, and happily the courts realise this. Ignore his threats and don't give him any information that isn't directly about your daughter. If you are planning to take her abroad she is clearly not on bread and water!

Information he has no right to includes

Your income
Your partners income
Your credit status
Any debts you have
Your household expenditure
The way you choose to spend the maintenance
Your benefit or tax credit income
Your rent
Your expenditure on your daughter
Your day to day life, with and without your daughter

Sassybeast Sun 14-Oct-12 22:55:12

Butting in - Colditz does all of the above apply only after financial settlement ? it's just that Ex has demanded details of quite a few of the above - we haven't even begun to agree a financial settlement yet.

colditz Sun 14-Oct-12 23:28:44

I don't know about financial settlements, because the ex and I didn't have any money ;)

Sassybeast Sun 14-Oct-12 23:51:42

Neither does my ex - allegedly wink

izzywizzyisbizzy Sun 14-Oct-12 23:54:22

Sassy he is entitled to know everything about you in a financial settlement (money wise) you new to give full disclosure - also if you have a new partner so will he.

MOSagain Mon 15-Oct-12 14:06:23

Agree with izzy ref a husband being entitled to know that information if a financial settlement is being negotiated. However, the OP's ex P is not entitled to have that information.

He needs to be reminded of the 'no order principle' in that the Court will only step in and make an order if it is necessary and in the best interests of the child. What the mother/her DP earn is nothing to do with it.
OP, if he won't provide consent to the holiday then you may have to make an application to the Court for a specific issue order but hopefully it won't come to that.

MsBakingCakes Mon 15-Oct-12 16:31:41

Thanks everyone.

MOSagain: we don't have a financial settlement. He believes that this information is relevant to his parental responsibilitie. And that in order to fully meet his parental responsibilities I need to take a boarder interpretation of the information that needs to be shared. I have told him that if he doesn't give consent I will go to court and ask for SIO and he told me that that maybe necessary in order to have some court guidance about which information needs to be exchanged so we can both apply parental responsibility properly. This is a person who declined twice to go to mediation.

Thanks again for all the information, as always very helpful

MsBakingCakes Mon 15-Oct-12 19:31:01

Forgot to ask if he has to participate when deciding childcare arrangements. I know that we jointly need to agree in a school but does it also include childcare arrangements after school? What about pre-school?

Thanks

NotaDisneyMum Mon 15-Oct-12 19:57:24

OP - my ex tries and link everything back to our ability to parent DD effectively - he has previously demanded to know the details of veterinary care for my pets and there was a memorable incident, in public, when he asked me to confirm if I had had my contraceptive coil removed !!!!!

My legal exec wrote a fantastic letter highlighting that his continued behaviour would provide evidence for a harassment order.
He still has his moments but I just ignore him now wink

MsBakingCakes Tue 16-Oct-12 08:35:32

Thanks NotaDisneyMum, that must have been horrible. I hope ExP doesn't get to that. The funny thing is that he is very good at keeping appearances and he is also very good with words.

olgaga Tue 16-Oct-12 09:40:30

If he has parental responsibility and he is withholding his consent to a trip abroad then you will have to apply for a single-issue order. That is, as the name implies, an order in relation to that single issue only.

As MOSagain says, if you weren't married then your earnings and working hours are none of his - or the court's - business.

www.direct.gov.uk/en/Parents/ParentsRights/DG_4002954

Do you have a set timescale for going abroad? I just wonder if mediation would be any use in your case.

Also, you might try here for advice, and just to clarify whether you would be entitled to legal aid:

www.direct.gov.uk/en/Dl1/Directories/UsefulContactsByCategory/Governmentcitizensandrightscontacts/DG_195356

Or use this link to search in your area:

legaladviserfinder.justice.gov.uk/AdviserSearch.do]]

NotaDisneyMum Tue 16-Oct-12 12:17:05

olgaga is a Single Issue Order easier cheaper to get?

I've not been told about those before - my solicitor has only advised me about prohibitive steps and/or specific issue orders?
I'm in England though - is it a Scottish variant?

prh47bridge Tue 16-Oct-12 12:35:50

Specific issue order is the correct name for these orders. It is, as olgaga says, an order that decides a specific (single) issue. The other order your solicitor referred to is a prohibited steps order which stops someone from doing something.

olgaga Tue 16-Oct-12 13:50:56

Take a look here:

www.direct.gov.uk/en/Parents/Lookingafterchildrenifyoudivorceorseparate/Childrendivorceseparationandcourts/DG_192819

Collaborate Tue 16-Oct-12 15:36:15

It depends on what the specific issue is and how fought it is likely to be. If you're meaning an application for leave to remove from the jurisdiction then you might expect there to be 2 hearings and a stetement or statements.

It doesn't really matter what you call the order - it's the issues that are in dispute that serve to make it a cheap or expensive case to litigate, together of course with the emotional baggage it stirs up (which nearly always serves to increase cost).

Court is not the ideal place to resolve these issues - but sometimes there's no other option.

babybarrister Tue 16-Oct-12 19:51:33

Do you want to move abroad or just visit another country? If it is the former then in my professional experience issues of income and working hours are relevant

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