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How do you follow up a malicious referral to NSPCC?

(12 Posts)
zzzexhaustedzzz Tue 09-Oct-12 22:31:27

I have been in and out of court for 2 years with my ex and his mother. Both have said malicious things about my partner re. him seeing my two children. My partner is great with the children. There are no problems. My ex and his mum just dislike my partners personality and probably would whoever he was. I left my ex 5 years ago, he was and still is a nightmare who is fighting me for child contact even though he is now a drug addict who put our children at risk of harm.
In June an anonymous online referral was made to NSPCC which, due to us being in court proceedings over child contact, the judge ordered a full section 37 for.
The referral was worded to look like it came from a neighbour. The items in it were horrible untrue and ridiculous, suggesting sexual and physical abuse.
I suspect very strongly, due to certain things mentioned, that the referral was made by my ex or his mum.
The report came back fine, no problems with the children.
NSPCC told me that I could get the police involved in order to get the details from them about the original referral ie. where it came from. I already have the written info I was entitled to minus the name and details of this person.
This report added to what has already been a life-crushing drain on our lives and I desperately want to know who instigated it.
So, today I called the police as suggested by NSPCC. They got back to me. Apparently it is a 'CIVIL MATTER', classed as libel and not a crime from a police view. Can this be right? I will call NSPCC again tomorrow and ask them because they told me twice that police could deal with it!
Any advice appreciated. I am at the end of my tether.

Hassled Tue 09-Oct-12 22:33:56

I wish I had some advice - but I have a lot of sympathy; this must have been horrendous for you.

If the police feel it's a civil matter and beyond their remit, then you probably need to see if you can get a free half hour session with a solicitor.

olgaga Tue 09-Oct-12 23:05:05

Do you qualify for legal aid? If a half-hour with a solicitor isn't an option, perhaps try the Women's Aid helpline:

and/or Rights of Women:

This is harassment - I don't see how the police can say it's a "civil matter". Harassment is a criminal matter.

Perhaps speak to the police non-emergency line on 101 and ask to speak to the domestic abuse unit in your area about this harassment from your ex-partner (as you have no idea who made the report, it might be easier to proceed if you assume it was him...)

zzzexhaustedzzz Wed 10-Oct-12 07:38:45

Thankyou. I will contact Womens aid. IDAS are already aware of the referral as I had some support, I should tell them how the report shows we are fine.
Yes I think I need to assume it was him then. I already have a solicitor through child contact. She seemed pretty clueless about viewing this as harrassment/ finding out who made the report.

JennaMoroney Wed 10-Oct-12 07:45:46

If it's online, would he have left a fake name anyway?

YOU know it was him. He knows you know it was him. He and his mother know they did something vindictive and they also know that you were checked out and found to be innocent.

I agree though, it is harrassment and you should log it somehow... even if the police can't act on it because they can't prove it.

JennaMoroney Wed 10-Oct-12 07:47:31

ps the 'you're an unfit mother" is the absolute standard bleat of the bully boy psycho controlling x. It's lke, pull the cord in the back of the bully boy and off he bleats 'you're an unfit mother' whilst simultaneously never visiting his kds/not contributing/ add as applicable.

zzzexhaustedzzz Wed 10-Oct-12 07:54:25

The cafcass worker seemed to be trying to get me to forget all about it. All along she has seemed preferable to the other side. Previous CAFCASS workers had their reports complained about by my ex. Now he has a level of supervised contact. His mother has a final hearing coming up for her contact. It feels like CAFCASS and my solicitor want to get rid of this 'difficult' case. The CAFCASS worker reckoned she wouldn't be able to find out who made the referral though she has lied before and she might even know. She tried to put doubt into my mind and when I said 'There's no-one who hates me that much' she said that her 80 year old mother gets malicious phone calls.

zzzexhaustedzzz Wed 10-Oct-12 07:59:35

Yes Jenna, I know! My ex is exactly as you describe, a text-book bully boy psycho controlling x. His comment on the report at court was 'what have you got to hide'..... And no money at all from him for 3 years.
re fake name, I wondered about this. Online forms: are they trackable? Can they be truly anonymous? NSPCC told me that phone calls were tracable in this event.

prh47bridge Wed 10-Oct-12 13:23:09

I'm sorry you've had to go through this. Unfortunately it is unlikely you will get any legal redress.

When someone suspects child abuse (or any other crime) they should report it to the relevant authorities. They are unlikely to do so if they know that, should their suspicions prove unfounded, their identity will be revealed and they may face legal action.

I'm sure the NSPCC would tell the police the identity of your accuser if the police needed to know (assuming they know themselves or can supply information that would allow the accuser to be identified) but it is highly unlikely that the police would pass that information to you. For the police to take action against your accuser they would need to be able to positively identify them (which may not be possible if the allegation was made online) and prove that the allegation was made maliciously. Similarly if you wanted to sue for libel you would have to prove the identity of your accuser and that they made the allegation maliciously rather than out of concern for your children. It would not be sufficient to show that the allegation was false.

zzzexhaustedzzz Wed 10-Oct-12 16:41:00

Hmm. Ex has harrassed me by text and email in the past, say, until 2010 and also was violent and abusive during our relationship (on record). Haven't heard much since the judge and the SServices agreed with me that he should not see the children.
It just happens I was planning to train in a new career (and move town) this year and that would have meant a full CRB check. Maybe he thought this would put a spanner in the works. He didn't want us moving away.
He has an expansive criminal record with incidents of abuse reported by his new partner.
There is no way this allegation was anything but malicious. I have read the paperwork. He made it look like my neighbour, who me and my partner know as a friend, yet there were specific things referring to the children that only my ex would know/ say. This neighbour is furious about it, the claims are hideous and specific lies that a concerned person would not invent.

prh47bridge Wed 10-Oct-12 23:12:10

You may well be right but that doesn't mean you can prove it in court. Malice is difficult to prove.

zzzexhaustedzzz Thu 11-Oct-12 08:04:47

As we are already in court even before this the children have been spoken to a few times. My ex has alluded to my partner being unsuitable but to the court and in statements he has always played it as if he has no problems or concerns with him. Therefore, if he had had these concerns he should have mentioned them to the court?
I don't necessarily want to sue/ think it would be a good idea. I DO however need evidence that my ex, who has just been awarded more frequent contact, has stooped to this level, where the children are affected negatively and we are driven to new depths of despair. I also need the court to know for future reference. Things are never going to run smoothly for long where he is involved.

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