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sole custody! help!!!

(8 Posts)
SammiArmani Sun 30-Sep-12 06:26:08

Hi girls, new to mums net smile

Basically, me and my partner are going through a terribly rough patch and hes saying hes going to file for sole custody of our son. I know he'll not get it as he's a drug addict who smokes cannabis every day and he doesn't provide finavially. I was just wondering how you go about starting the process off?? And what happens? Its gonna be a nasty fight, I can tell. He won't go easily and hes already said he will make my life hell. Any advice on this subject would be hugely appreciated

Thanks xx

olgaga Sun 30-Sep-12 09:30:07

if he's smoking cannabis all the time, is this in while your DC is there too?

Perhaps you should call the police non-emergency number and discuss it with them. Say you would appreciate it if you could arrange for the police to visit when he is at home smoking and you and your DC are out - at a friend's, family; even the local library.

You don't have to put up with this behaviour, let alone the threats, however absurd and empty they are.

olgaga Sun 30-Sep-12 09:37:09

Sorry forgot to add the tel no is 101.

You could also look at:

they also have a freephone helpline.

Snorbs Sun 30-Sep-12 10:08:49

If he's a long-term stoner then it's unlikely he'll get it together to actually pursue any kind of court action. I'd treat it as an empty threat until/unless he actually files the paperwork.

If that does ever happen then remember this fact - cannabis use shows up in hair samples for a very long time. I'd not mention this to him yet but I'd keep it in my back pocket in case you need something to scare persuade him that you are not going to roll over and admit defeat.

SammiArmani Sun 30-Sep-12 10:29:40

He's a very long term stoner. About 13 years!! I think il give that womansaid a phone first, thanks smile x

Collaborate Sun 30-Sep-12 14:56:32

Not providing financially doesn't make the blindest bit of difference to his ability to care for the children or his chances at getting residence of them. His track record of caring for them and his drug use does.

I assume you're both still living in the same property. Post more details about ownership etc. If you want him to move out it what his legal rights are in relation to the property is relevant.

cestlavielife Mon 01-Oct-12 15:42:22

you will need evidence he is drug user and evidence this makes him unfit to care for you DC.

trolls4us Fri 05-Oct-12 22:23:32

to be honest the courts these days dont care about if they use drugs there has to be evidence of significant harm or current/very recent drugs convictions ...yes calling police to his flat would not be a bad idea ...druggies still do court applications ..prob all the time as there are a lot of deadbeat dads sadly going throught the whole court process because they were rubbish in first place..couts dont usually give sole custody these days unless he can provide evidence the children are at risk of harm living with you etc..the most they would give is a shared residence order and if thy have spent tmost time with you then they would give you the lions share of residence ......dont worry dont listen to his bullying tactics let him go to court he wont get sole residence anyway

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