Can XP stop me changing DS's school?

[cuddlymanatee]

XP has PR. DS is 10 and goes to an ofsted outstanding school opposite XP's house.

DS has been bullied badly this year and it's taken a turn for the awful this week. I want to pull DS out of school. There is another school ten minutes' walk from my house (20 minutes walk from XP), which might have a place.

XP says he can stop me doing this - is this the case?

[LadySybilDeChocolate]

Yes. He can ask for something called a prohibited steps order, it basically tells the other parent what they can't do. The court would have to decide whether it's in your child's best interests to move him or keep him there. Your xp sounds like an arse if he's willing to subject his child to bullying though. I think you need professional legal advice. My law is very rusty so I may be wrong.

[TimeForMeAndDD]

Long story short but my ex tried to stop me from moving DD to a school local to our new house after we left refuge. He expected me to travel and 8 mile round trip to take her to school local to him. In my case it was about power and control, nothing to do with DD and her education.

A bailiff knocked on my door one day and served me with court papers. He had taken out a prohibited steps order and attempted to do this ex parte but the judge refused so, I attended court and the judge found in my favour stating he didn't see the sense in me having to drive DD to a school miles away when there was a perfectly good school within walking distance.

So, your ex can try to stop you but a) it will cost him and b) he will have to have good reason to stop you. If I were you I would seek help from a solicitor.

[cuddlymanatee]

Thankyou.

I have heard of PSOs (and been threatened with them before) - if he would need to go to court to get one, could I pull DS out of school against his wishes before he has a chance to do that? Or would his telling the schools involved that he is seeking a PSO prevent any move?

I will speak to a solicitor but suspect that to do this 'properly' will involve a delay and I don't think that would be best for DS.

[mumblechum1]

What did your ex say when you explained how serious the bullying issue is and how upset his child is becoming as a result?

This is a classic case of parents who should really be able to sort this issue out between themselves without going to court.

I know that's easier said than done, but it's got to be worth while to try to get your ex to understand your reasons for wanting a change of school.

[cuddlymanatee]

He thinks DS 'brings it on himself' and 'needs to learn he can't just run away'.

[LadySybilDeChocolate]

Have you approached the school? I can understand why you want to move your son, it's usually the last resort though. If there's space in the other school then it may be best to act sooner rather then later. It does sound like it's a control thing with regard to your ex, it's in no child's best interest to stay where they are being bullied.

[TimeForMeAndDD]

In my case I had already enrolled DD in her new school as per commanded instructed by The Ex. As she had already been enrolled, the step he was trying to prohibit with his order had already been taken so he couldn't prohibit it. The judge looked at the facts and decided it was in DD's best interest to attend the school closer to home and within walking distance. He also gave The Ex a direct telling off talking to for causing me such difficulties then bringing the matter to court.

So, you could just go ahead against the wishes of your ex and chance your luck but in doing do so risk there being a very unhealthy conflict created between you or, you could do whatever it takes to sort things out amicably. Court was horrible, it lead to CAFCASS becoming involved due to the domestic violence/control aspect and checks being made with social services. I personally would have preferred not to have gone through all of that.

[RedHelenB]

Does your ex have a point? Is it likely that your son may be bullied at another school? What is the present school doing about it & what form does the bullying take? I think if the school are seen to be trying to resolve the situation & it's an outstanding school a judge may rule in your ex's favour

[IDontDoIroning]

I admit to not knowing much about the legal side, but have you got evidence regarding the bullying eg letters to school reports of incidents etc? Have you complained formally ? What has the school done about it ?
If this has been going on a long time and you have been trying to resolve it without support from the school then it seems cruel to me to force your child to attend that school irrespective of your family arrangements.
Would you make him stay at this school if you were still together? What does your child want to do?
If you have tried and failed to support him continuing to attend this school then your x is an arse if he can't support you in doing the right thing for your child.