What am I entitled to after 4 years of marriage?

[LadyEatsCrispsALot]

Bear with as don't want to drip feed...
Seperating from husband after 4 years marriage, 6 years together.
I owned own house and he had 2 flats, one he live din and one he rented out when we met.
I sold my house and invested £50 k so we could buy family home together. Joint mortgage. He kept 2 flats and rented out both.
So he has said he will sell one flat and give me the equity, £60k so I can move out of family home and buy own place for me and 2 DC. He will pay £600 a month child maintenance. I can get mortgage for £80k so looking to buy house for £150k.
He will keep family home on in his name. I don't want it.
He earns 3 x as much as me.
I have asked if he could give me another 20k from second flat he keeping to boost buying budget.
He states I am not entitled to anymore than the lump sum from the sale of the first flat.
The family home is worth £440k with mortgage of 330k.
Really what am I entitled to?
He said if I want more I should work full time and get a bigger mortgage. I work 3 days a week and earn £1000 a month.
He earns at least £3k a month.
I don't want half of everything ,just what is fair?

[PoppadumPreach]

i think you need to get a lawyer

there is too much at stake here to rely on often-contradictory advice given on MN.

Unless there is a family lawyer here who will give advice for free.....but then i suspect her/his advice would be to get a lawyer.

[QuiStorn]

Do you think it is fair that he keeps family home and one flat, and you get pretty much no more than what will constitute deposit on a new home?

He earns 3k plus rental income of one flat

You earn 1 k plus 600 maintenance.

That is for him 2400 pcm plus rental income of flat and £1600 for you.

Why dont he move out of family home and sell both flats to buy himself a home?
That way you will have a decent home each, and more equal income.

[PoppadumPreach]

i also meant to say i am sorry you are going through this. fight for everything.

[LadyEatsCrispsALot]

Thank you. He states just because I married someone richer than me , does not mean I should be entitled to more than I originally invested?? Meaning the deposit on the family home of £50k. I really wanted to keep to amicable but I also want what is fair for me and the children. We are dividing child are between us. He will have them for 3 days and I will for 4 days a week. So the £600 month is generous. Because he had the two flats before we married he states I am not entitled to any of that asset? I can understand that but I am a bit lost as to what is correct?

[STIDW]

The value of any the assets held in joint or sole names forms the value of the matrimonial "pot" to be shared. This is shared according to a checklist of factors and after a short relationship each party usually takes away assets they brought to the marriage and share any increase in values during the marriage. That is probably where your husband is coming from.

However, a relationship of 6 years (4 years marriage + cohabitation) isn't necessarily short, there are other factors in the checklist and often "needs" comes at the top or near the top of the checklist. This particularly true when there are children and a worthy needs case will always out trump a short marriage.

A good starting point is to consider local property prices and mortgage raising capabilities. If your child/ren is/are to spend almost equal time with both parents you will both need properties of a similar size. However, you earn less so your mortgage raising capability will be less and that can justify a larger share of assets in your favour. The aim is to leave both parties on an similar financial footing so you can start independent lives roughly in the same position. There shouldn't be a huge discrepancy between the two homes in your child(ren)'s lifestyle.

Settlements depend on the specific facts and it's useful to see a solicitor early on to find out where you stand and what options there are. Then you can negotiate from an informed position.

[Santa5l1ttleHelper]

Defo get a solicitor for this one. You're children are young and you need to provide a home and security for them for a long time to come. The law works out what is fair which may not correspond with what your husband thinks is fair.
His comment about marrying someone richer...... Says it all really!

[GlueSticksEverywhere]

Definately get a solicitor. He's going to try to give you as little as possible so don't take his word for anything. It's not his choice how much he has to give you, he can't give you less just because he wants to. Don't sign anything until you've seen a solitor!

He states just because I married someone richer than me , does not mean I should be entitled to more than I originally invested??

That's not true, he's trying it on.

Because he had the two flats before we married he states I am not entitled to any of that asset?

Not sure on the facts about that which is why you need a solicitor.

[catsareevil]

If he wanted to be able to keep his previous finances completely to himself then he shouldnt have got married. You do need to see a lawyer.

[Santa5l1ttleHelper]

I'm sure once your ex see's a solicitor he will be set straight on what is much more realistic as an outcome. I'll never understand why men put there own needs before those of their children. Sounds greedy to me.
My ex 'told' me what I was getting and I got alot more but I only wanted to be able to start again and provide a home for us which is what I did. I got what was worked out by the solicitors which was fair (my ex didn't think so!)

[curiousparent]

From what i have seen with others in the past you would be entitled to more than what you are being offered. When 2 people go into a situation whereby there is already some wealth it is often looked upon as the increase in the wealth is to be split between the both parties, but not necessarily equally, as the person who has the children for the majority of the time could get a higher proportion.

So for eg in your case you could be entitled to your original lump sum that you invested plus any increase in the families overall wealth since that point. Then of course you would also get your maintenance which seems a pretty reasonable amount and is relative to his income but again this can vary depending upon what lump sum settlement you get.

I would definitely get some good legal advice as even pensions can become a part of the overall pot that needs to be considered and divided.

Sorry that you are going through this, and good luck.

[Santa5l1ttleHelper]

Yes my sympathies too, all this is stressful and unpleasant. Just remember alot can happen in the future. He could remarry, have more children, lose his job or even die. All of these things would affect Maintenance so it is really important to negotiate a fair division of assets so that you would manage if the worst was to happen

[curiousparent]

Yes santa that is a good point regarding the future and I absolutely agree it is right to get the maximum that you are due now so that you can be sure to provide for the children

[MOSagain]

Short marriage point, ie each take out what they put in really isn't relevant once there are children. Your husband really can't realistically expect to get back what was his before the marriage, things changed once you had children.

You really do need to consult a family lawyer. Have a look at the Resolution website for one in your area.

[MOSagain]

tutt tut baby, public funding

[Collaborate]

Definitely need proper legal advice. If a client came in to see me and wanted advice, unwilling to share any more information than is in your first post, I'd show them the door.

[LadyEatsCrispsALot]

Collaborate. What else do you need to know? Excuse my apparent ignorance?

[LadyEatsCrispsALot]

Got a solicitor appt for Thursday. He being civil but no mention of money or the discussion we had. Obviously. /:(

[Collaborate]

Lots. A decent initial appointment lasts at least an hour.

[LadyEatsCrispsALot]

Great . I have appointment for hour and a half. Hope clarity will be forthcoming.

[sneezecakesmum]

Write a list of questions, and take notes in the meeting (or ask for a summary but that will cost!). Find out as much as possible from the Resolution website so you dont go in totally in ignorance and can then ask all the relevant questions.

Having children is your starting point, and what is best for them. Good luck your H sounds like an arrogant prat.

[LadyEatsCrispsALot]

I just feel really bad doing this, seeing a solicitor. I wanted to be amicable but also want what is fair. He will hate me for doing this :(