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Assess to my dd2

(4 Posts)
SparklyGothKat Mon 24-Oct-11 19:29:10

I'm posting this as I dint know which way to turn.

Me and exh split up in 2010. I gave him free assess to the kids and he chose to see them one hour after school during the week at mine and 3 hours at his mothers on a Sunday. I know this isn't enough time but understand he doesn't have his own place.

Dd2 went to stay last Friday overnight and then she decided that she wished to live with her dad. I agreed as I know she wanted to be with her dad and he has as much right as me.

But since then I have only seen her briefly on the playground in the morning last week. I wanted her overnight on Saturday but was texted on sat saying she was ill and couldn't come round. Saw her briefly yeasterday when I dropped the others over to see their dad. Asked to have her today and got told they were going out. Asked if I can have her on Wednesday as we are going roller skating to be told she will think about it.

I asked exh if I can take her to the zoo soon with the others and he said he will ask dd2. Dd1 told me that dd2 had no idea about it when she mentioned it. When I saw her yesterday I asked if she wanted to come back for a few hours and she looked at exh and then said no

I just want assess to her but I am being stopped everytime. what should I do? He barely sees the others and it's like now he has his 'daddy's girl' that the others don't matter and neither do I.

NatashaBee Mon 24-Oct-11 19:37:29

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

SparklyGothKat Mon 24-Oct-11 19:38:41

She is 10.

ZillionChocolate Tue 25-Oct-11 08:46:42

You need to try and work out a regular pattern of contact so all of the children spend quality time with both parents and with each other. If you feel able to, talk or write to him with a suggestion that you think is fair and practical. Eg children altogether with you on Tuesday for tea, with him on Thursday for tea, with you on Saturday and with him on Sunday. You can work out a week 1/2/3/4 pattern if needed.

If you don't get anywhere, investigate mediation in your area. They can help you reach an agreement.

IMO a 10 year old has a say, but not the final say in these matters. Allowing her to decide puts the pressure on her. If there's nothing wrong with your parenting she should be seeing you regularly as well as her sibling(s).

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