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How to split up if partner won't leave?

(5 Posts)
Oddday Fri 21-Oct-11 19:47:42

I'm posting on behalf of my friend, who currently lives with her boyfriend of a few years and her kids (none are his). She is finally thinking seriously about leaving him, but wants to know if there's a way she can do this without her having to move. Basically, he has mental health issues and won't leave if asked (she has asked him to before) but obviously she doesn't want to uproot the children and leave with nowhere really to go (he could easily stay at his sister's or his mum's, but as she has the kids, who have to go to school, it's a lot harder).

They currently claim benefits as a couple and the housing benefit is paid into his name, but goes straight from the HA to the landlord (it's not a council property). Her name though is down as the person renting the house. These details may be slightly wrong as I've never dealt with this stuff before but I can get more details from her if necessary to make things clearer.

So, is there any way she can legally get him to leave, if he won't go of his own accord? Or does she just have to leave herself and then be left trying to find a place for herself and the kids?

neuroticmumof3 Fri 21-Oct-11 20:02:53

If he's not the legal tenant then I wouldn't have thought he'd have any rights to be there. She should go to Citizens Advice.

cestlavielife Fri 21-Oct-11 23:06:21

if she is the only one renting the house then she can chuck him out ie change locks when he out. but she shoiuld get some proper advice first.

but ultimately it may come to the point that she has to leave. just to make the point to him.

Oddday Fri 21-Oct-11 23:08:59

Thanks for advice. I thought it sounded like she should be able to get him out if the house is in her name, but wasn't sure since there's the benefits tied up in it. Also if she does have to go through changing the locks while he's out, that could get pretty nasty (not physical, just not something the kids need to witness). Will advise her to check with the CAB.

Tanya2011 Sat 22-Oct-11 18:32:33

Go to the CAB, tell them the situation, and take it from there. Don't chuck him out, don't change the locks. These things will only come back on you later if they're not done officially.

CAB may advice you to write to him, or to get a solicitor to write to him. Then if he doesn't go there will be other advice.

You'll need to consider what his condition is, what he can deal with, and how to do it considerately. You'll need to consider things such as is the flat rented, who is on the lease, is the flat owned, who's paid what towards it, where is he going to go, how is he going to move his stuff out.

You should go to the CAB first and get it done properly. If you don't you could get into all sorts of trouble which could be very expensive, time consuming, stressful, and upsetting. And if you've got kids, all those things are things you could do without.

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