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Help needed for my Dniece, court today and told to late for CAFCAS involement

(13 Posts)
herdingcats Tue 11-Oct-11 18:19:36

Her exH took her to court as he is not happy with access arrangements. She was not really allowed to put her case . He regularlt does not do the pick up himself, turns up late ( even to do a school pickup) and her DS ends up sleeping in various different houses because he is in the pub or working. His solicitor said it will have to go before the magistrate as they were not going to resolve anything.
Also told her she was breing obstructive and had refused to go to mediation, but she has rang numerous times and they have not returned the call to arrange. ExH has even gone out with the little boy and his current GF, then fell asleep by a stream and the little one said he just had to sit quiet until they woke up shock . They are not going to speak with the child and she is at the end of her tether.
Sorry if that is a ramble, its so difficult to put into a short summery. This is in England and I do not have the knowledge to help her.
Can she ask for social services or CAFCAS to get involved, her solicitor seems to be vague on this.
The man is such a B******D angry

GypsyMoth Tue 11-Oct-11 18:24:45

Cafcass will get involved if there are welfare issues. Who said too late for cafcass?

herdingcats Tue 11-Oct-11 18:35:05

Thank you for replying.
The court executive said that.
The Exh is lying through hie teeth, and they have no plan to ask the child about events, which is a huge worry for his mother. They just keep telling her she is lying and it is all very insignificant.

GypsyMoth Tue 11-Oct-11 18:37:21

I doubt they would question the child anyway! That's not cafcass role.

herdingcats Tue 11-Oct-11 18:46:31

Sorry I was not sure. As I say I have no experience of the English system.
Can she insist on any other questions are asked by them ,or social services?
She is very worried and is not coping with it at all well. In her words " he always lands in shit and comes up smelling of roses"
The poor girl loves her DS so much ,but he is constantly let down by his father. He wants every weekend and time through the week,but bearing in mind the whole time they were married he was hardly there. He is an agricultural contracter and works extremely weird hours, coupled with the fact he has given an address he is not living at there is no sense of routing available for ihs son with him.
Her being obstructive BTW,was because his gF has booked a holiday and she wanted to check the details i.e. where to, when,flight times and insurance. His solicitor thought she had no need to knowshock
She is now convinced he will win at magistrates court and seems to me to have gone int flight not fight mode sad

GypsyMoth Tue 11-Oct-11 18:54:44

I think your neice needs some legal advice

He prob won't get EVERY weekend
Holiday is likely to be fine..... Your neice may find she isn't entitled to know all the details I'm afraid
Address..... Well he must have one for court correspondence, if he has another home too, up to him
Many children are let down by lateness etc, he won't get his access taken away for it

It's how it is. The child has a right to a relationship with both parents. The court will uphold that in the absence of true welfare issues.
How old is he?

I think her ex will find court expensive, so he must have good reasons for taking it in front of a judge

bubble114 Tue 11-Oct-11 18:57:57

Cafcass are in a mess and have a backlogue. You need to shout really loudly to get them in but if there welfare issues they have no choice. Just don't expect them to be the answer to your prayers though as the courts will move heaven and earth to keep children in touch with feckless fathers!

pinkytheshrinky Tue 11-Oct-11 19:01:51

Hi Bubble wink

I have to agree with Bubble - the good thing about getting cafcass involved though is that it may slow down the process and allow her to have some time to collect herself - maybe she needs better legal advice?

Even when there are true welfare issues the rights of the Father are very much at the fore all the time in my experience.

pinkytheshrinky Tue 11-Oct-11 19:03:22

Also get her to write to the mediation people and send it registered then she can show she has tried to do something - refusing mediation is seen in a very dim light.

herdingcats Tue 11-Oct-11 19:06:53

He does not have any address, he did not want to keep the marital home. He sleeps on the floor of his GP's farm ,at his GF or anywhere else he happens to be! His own mother will not let him live ther,because to use her words he cannot tell the truth, even if his life depended on it.
The little boy has just turned 6. My niece understands he should have a relationship with his father, but why has it to be at the loss of any chance for her to have family time. She would end up having no chance of doing recreational things with her son if he wins.
He will not be thinking about the money, he will not be paying for it! During the divorce, he was dropped by 3 separate firms for non payment of bills, and he is bitter about the fact she is not under his control anymore. He never has had any money management skills and does just not open anything that is a bill. Possibly his over indulgent GM is paying, to get back at my niece for reporting her. She sent threatening letters and the police were involved, they were so frightening.

GypsyMoth Tue 11-Oct-11 19:09:14

Well as I said, he's not likely to get EVERY weekend.

herdingcats Tue 11-Oct-11 19:15:24

Thank you all for your replies. I will pass this all on to her and keep hoping some of it at least goes in her favour.

bubble114 Tue 11-Oct-11 19:22:24

Hi Pinky

They're very good at delaying!

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